ParisMilton93

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ParisMilton93

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 969
  • Number of comments : 23
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About ParisMilton93 : My name's Leigh, from engkand

ParisMilton93's page activity

Visits<b>smrn95</b> - the 02/11/2016 at 3:07pm<b>IAm123</b> - the 12/30/2015 at 9:37pm<b>dannnngthatsux</b> - the 10/25/2015 at 11:37pm<b>Arkajion</b> - the 04/07/2015 at 5:10pm<b>poncho55</b> - the 12/31/2014 at 5:49pm<b>seninaa</b> - the 05/22/2014 at 4:45pm<b>ladystate</b> - the 04/05/2014 at 2:16pm<b>Calaraphea</b> - the 03/04/2014 at 10:00pm<b>Jellybellybeanz</b> - the 02/19/2014 at 10:49am<b>Vball6</b> - the 01/27/2014 at 11:09pm<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 01/03/2014 at 8:30pm<b>TrackGirl19</b> - the 12/27/2013 at 1:21pm<b>grogers311</b> - the 11/25/2013 at 7:12am<b>matt1138</b> - the 08/02/2013 at 5:19pm<b>augiedd</b> - the 07/16/2013 at 12:03am<b>jaybee_23</b> - the 07/15/2013 at 10:47pm<b>_monicaamariee</b> - the 07/12/2013 at 1:07am<b>Eyeslick</b> - the 06/11/2013 at 11:27pm

ParisMilton93's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of ParisMilton93's badges

ParisMilton93's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend lost her virginity. I still have mine, though. FML

by Anonymous / 02/04/2013 at 12:17pm / United States (North Carolina) / Love

Today, my girlfriend lost her virginity. I still have mine, though. FML

by Anonymous / 02/04/2013 at 12:17pm / United States (North Carolina) / Love

Today, my hubby asked for a morning blow job, and I happily obliged. All was going great until he came and farted at the same time. I laughed and reassured him it was no big deal. He cried. FML

by airbiscuit / 01/21/2013 at 7:36am / United Kingdom (Cardiff) / Intimacy

Today, I asked my mom what her biggest craving was when she was pregnant with me. Her answer: an abortion. FML

by kk / 01/09/2013 at 11:07am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I unknowingly used my shampoo thinking it was leave-in-conditioner. While walking to work, it started to rain. I started to produce suds. FML

by nomegusta / 01/05/2013 at 10:59am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, at the hospital I work at, I had to deliver my best friend's baby. I later found out that my ex boyfriend was the father. Normally this wouldn't faze me, but it did because we broke up last month. FML

by Anonymous / 12/29/2012 at 3:25am / United States (Wisconsin) / Work

Today, my boyfriend ended sex by yelling, "THIS IS SPARTA!" and using his foot to push me off the bed. FML

by Saradee / 12/23/2012 at 11:55pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I found out that the tinsel on my Christmas tree is worth a couple of hundred euros per strand. Well, that's how much the two that were surgically removed from my cat have cost me. At least the cat's going to be fine. FML

by I Like My Cat / 12/21/2012 at 5:02am / Netherlands (Utrecht) / Animals

Today, my boyfriend told me his Christmas gift to me was custom made. I told my parents in excitement, thinking it could possibly be a ring. Half an hour later he told me what it was; a molded dildo of his penis. It's going to be an awkward conversation with my parents when they ask what I got. FML

by djl / 12/20/2012 at 12:30am / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy

Today, I ran into my infant daughter's room because I thought I heard her crying, and found she was still sound asleep in her crib. The screams were coming from the mouse our cat was using to paint her bedroom walls. FML

by Anonymous / 12/15/2012 at 10:55am / United States (New York) / Animals

Today, my roommate came out of the bathroom, and asked me how the scales knew her weight in both pounds and kilos, even though "the exchange rate is always changing." I actually live with this idiot. FML

by ak_6694 / 09/22/2012 at 3:29am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend, who is a fully-grown man, that making dinosaur noises in public is no longer acceptable. FML

by shorty4 / 07/13/2012 at 10:36am / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was using a restroom when I heard someone sneeze. I said, "Bless you." It happened again about three times, so I repeated myself each time. I then noticed it was an automatic air freshener. FML

by coleslaw / 02/03/2012 at 12:25am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I stayed up until 4 am. I was waiting for both my cats to fall asleep, so I could play Santa and stuff their stockings in secret. FML

by Anonymoose / 12/25/2011 at 6:39am / Switzerland (Zurich) / Animals

Today, I went to the doctor for a physical. I've been sitting in the doctor's bathroom for 10 minutes now, trying to think of how to tell him I accidentally tripped and spilled my urine sample on the carpet. FML

by socal000 / 10/20/2011 at 8:04am / United States / Health