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ParisMilton93

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ParisMilton93

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 465
  • Number of comments : 23
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About ParisMilton93 : My name's Leigh, from engkand

ParisMilton93's page activity

Visits<b>seninaa</b> - the 05/22/2014 at 4:45pm<b>ladystate</b> - the 04/05/2014 at 2:16pm<b>Calaraphea</b> - the 03/04/2014 at 10:00pm<b>Jellybellybeanz</b> - the 02/19/2014 at 10:49am<b>Vball6</b> - the 01/27/2014 at 11:09pm<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 01/03/2014 at 8:30pm<b>TrackGirl19</b> - the 12/27/2013 at 1:21pm<b>grogers311</b> - the 11/25/2013 at 7:12am<b>matt1138</b> - the 08/02/2013 at 5:19pm<b>augiedd</b> - the 07/16/2013 at 12:03am<b>jaybee_23</b> - the 07/15/2013 at 10:47pm<b>_monicaamariee</b> - the 07/12/2013 at 1:07am<b>Eyeslick</b> - the 06/11/2013 at 11:27pm<b>efelsh</b> - the 03/06/2013 at 10:31pm<b>coolsunshinebear</b> - the 02/16/2013 at 11:36pm<b>myeviltwin</b> - the 02/08/2013 at 5:58pm<b>shorty6823</b> - the 01/30/2013 at 12:41am<b>GiveMeLove</b> - the 01/28/2013 at 4:21pm

ParisMilton93's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

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ParisMilton93's favorite FMLs

Today, I had a nightmare in which I was haunted by the ghost of my foreskin. I then spent the whole day moping around, wondering what my life would've been like if my parents hadn't opted to slice it off. Will I see you in heaven, long-lost ghostly foreskin? FML

#20972170
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31050) - you deserved it (14733)

On 11/27/2013 at 3:44am - health - by MissYouPieceOfSkin (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my mom is convinced that my cat is the reincarnation of Vincent van Gogh. Why? He sleeps under my sunflowers and is a ginger tabby cat. FML

#20854246
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33414) - you deserved it (2750)

On 08/25/2013 at 9:16pm - animals - by KatVanGogh (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, while cleaning my ears with Q-tips, I came in my pants. FML

#20835942
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48121) - you deserved it (17177)

On 08/13/2013 at 7:53pm - intimacy - by ANON (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had my first wet dream. I woke up sweating and soaking wet. Too bad I dreamed about having intense sex with a cardboard box. FML

#20813339
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53512) - you deserved it (8514)

On 07/31/2013 at 12:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Belgium (West-Vlaanderen)

Today, I walked into an elderly man's room in the hospital I work to give him his food. After he struggled to sit up, I noticed his hand move down towards his crotch. He looked me straight in the eye and said, "I have to do this to my scrotum because it gets sweaty and sticks to my leg." FML

Today, my husband was chased out of a bar after he was seen slipping something into a woman's drink. I was the woman, the 'something' was aspirin, and that's the last time we ever try to role-play. FML

#20798724
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48957) - you deserved it (27392)

On 07/23/2013 at 12:48am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, the guy I like asked me what he should do for the girl he has a crush on. I told him to give her flowers and tell her how he feels. Later that day my doorbell rang, and he stood there holding flowers. He said the magical words, "My car broke down, can you give me a lift?" FML

#20778979
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63610) - you deserved it (4750)

On 07/13/2013 at 12:22am - love - by Stacy (woman) - United States

Today, I saw mice eating from my cat's food dish, again. Where is my cat? He's busy bringing in more mice, birds, and once even an unharmed chipmunk through his cat door. FML

Today, I was walking down the stairs with my guitar in hand, singing "I Don't Wanna Miss a Thing" to my wife. I sang, "I don't wanna close my eyes, I don't wanna fall". Before I could say "asleep", I fell down the stairs. My wife almost pissed her pants laughing. My bum hurts. FML

#20691071
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63340) - you deserved it (14426)

On 05/28/2013 at 12:37pm - love - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while at the movies, I had an uncomfortable amount of gas that I couldn't hold in any longer. I waited for a loud part in the movie to conceal it and took my chance. Problem was, the loud part ended abruptly. I didn't. FML

Today, it was my wedding. Every good wedding has slutty wedding sex, and I thought it would be over after my cousin and his girlfriend were caught in the parking lot. I was wrong, the sluttiest wedding sex goes to my drunk husband and sister in the coat room. FML

#20684997
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (77229) - you deserved it (4790)

On 05/25/2013 at 2:55am - love - by lizzie - Canada (Alberta)

Today, while at a hospital, a prayer group circled me and started praying that God and the good doctors and nurses would heal me from the disease that disfigured my face. I was there to visit my sick grandmother. FML

#20580194
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46743) - you deserved it (3212)

On 04/08/2013 at 2:12am - health - by chinatownhobo (man) - Australia (Australian Capital Territory)

Today, my parents told me that I'm no longer allowed to come home from boarding school on weekends because it will confuse my cats and disrupt their lives. FML

#20519879
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40521) - you deserved it (2631)

On 02/24/2013 at 6:17am - animals - by incendiaaa (woman) - Australia

Today, my boyfriend and I were looking at engagement rings. When the store owner asked about our budget, my boyfriend said with a straight face, "Nothing too expensive, I have a big penis so I don't have to overcompensate by buying a big diamond." FML

#20494997
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34592) - you deserved it (6694)

On 02/05/2013 at 9:31pm - love - by NewlyDread (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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