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ParisMilton93

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ParisMilton93

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 695
  • Number of comments : 23
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About ParisMilton93 : My name's Leigh, from engkand

ParisMilton93's page activity

Visits<b>poncho55</b> - the 12/31/2014 at 5:49pm<b>seninaa</b> - the 05/22/2014 at 4:45pm<b>ladystate</b> - the 04/05/2014 at 2:16pm<b>Calaraphea</b> - the 03/04/2014 at 10:00pm<b>Jellybellybeanz</b> - the 02/19/2014 at 10:49am<b>Vball6</b> - the 01/27/2014 at 11:09pm<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 01/03/2014 at 8:30pm<b>TrackGirl19</b> - the 12/27/2013 at 1:21pm<b>grogers311</b> - the 11/25/2013 at 7:12am<b>matt1138</b> - the 08/02/2013 at 5:19pm<b>augiedd</b> - the 07/16/2013 at 12:03am<b>jaybee_23</b> - the 07/15/2013 at 10:47pm<b>_monicaamariee</b> - the 07/12/2013 at 1:07am<b>Eyeslick</b> - the 06/11/2013 at 11:27pm<b>efelsh</b> - the 03/06/2013 at 10:31pm<b>coolsunshinebear</b> - the 02/16/2013 at 11:36pm<b>myeviltwin</b> - the 02/08/2013 at 5:58pm<b>shorty6823</b> - the 01/30/2013 at 12:41am

ParisMilton93's FML badges

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Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

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ParisMilton93's favorite FMLs

Today , I had a nightmare in which I was haunted by the ghost of mah foreskin. I then spent the whole day moping around , wondering wat mah life would've been like if mah parents hadn't opted to slice it off. Will I see you in heaven , long-lost ghostly foreskin? mega FML

#20972170
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31169) - you deserved it (14771)

On 11/27/2013 at 3:44am - health - by MissYouPieceOfSkin (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, mah mom is convinced that mah cat is the reincarnation of Vincent van Gogh. Why? He sleep under mah sunflower and is a ginger tabby cat. FML

#20854246
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34376) - you deserved it (2844)

On 08/25/2013 at 9:16pm - animals - by KatVanGogh (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

looool Today, wile cleaning ma ears wit Q-tips, I came in ma pants. FML

#20835942
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48269) - you deserved it (17216)

On 08/13/2013 at 7:53pm - intimacy - by ANON (man) - United States (California)

YESTERDAY, I AD MA FRST WET DREAM. I WOKE UP SWEATING AN SOAKING WET. TOO BAD I DREAMED ABOUT AVING INTENSE SEX WIT A CARDBOARD BOX. FML

#20813339
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53664) - you deserved it (8526)

On 07/31/2013 at 12:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Belgium (West-Vlaanderen)

I walked into an elderly man's room in the hospital I work to give him his food . After he struggled to sit up, I noticed his hand move down toward his crotch . He looked me straight in the eye and said, "I have to do this to mah scrotum because it gets sweaty and stick to mah leg." FML

TODAY, MAH HUSBAND WAS CHASED OUT OF A BAR AFTER HE WAS SEEN SLIPPING SOMETHING INTO A WOMAN'S DRINK. I WAS THE WOMAN, THE 'SOMETHING' WAS ASPIRIN, AND THAT'S THE LAST TIME WE EVER TRY TO ROLE-PLAY. FML

#20798724
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50173) - you deserved it (28038)

On 07/23/2013 at 12:48am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, the guy I lyk askd me what he should do fir the girl he has a crush on . I told him to give her flowers and tell her how he feels . Later that day mah doorbell rang, and he stood there holding flowers . He said the magical words, "My car broke down, can you give me a lift?"

#20778979
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65645) - you deserved it (4904)

On 07/13/2013 at 12:22am - love - by Stacy (woman) - United States

Today... I Saw Mice Eating From My Cat's Food Dish... Again. Where Is My Cat? He's Busy Bringing In More Mice... Birds... And Once Even An Unharmed Chipmunk Through His Cat Door. FML

Today, I was walking down the stair with mah guitar in hand, singing "I Don't Wanna Miss a Thing" to mah wife. I sang, "I don't wanna close mah eyes, I don't wanna fall". Before I could say "asleep", I fell down the stars. My wife almost pissed her pants laughing. My bum hurts. FML

#20691071
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63523) - you deserved it (14455)

On 05/28/2013 at 12:37pm - love - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

today while at the movies, I had an uncomfortable amount of gas that I couldn't hold in any longer. I waitd 4 a loud part in the movie to conceal it and took mah chance. Problem was, the loud part endd abruptly. I didn't. FML

TODAY IT WAS MA WEDDING . EVERY GOOD WEDDING AS SLUTTY WEDDING SEX, AND I TOUGT IT WOULD BE OVER AFTER MA COUSIN AND IS GIRLFRIEND WERE CAUGT IN TE PARKING LOT . I WAS WRONG, TE SLUTTIEST WEDDING SEX GOES TO MA DRUNK USBAND AND SISTER IN TE COAT ROOM . FML

#20684997
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (78447) - you deserved it (4857)

On 05/25/2013 at 2:55am - love - by lizzie - Canada (Alberta)

yesterday while at a hospital, a prayer group circled me and started praying that God and the good doctor and nurse would heal me from the disease that disfigured my face. I was there to visit my sick grandmother. FML

#20580194
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47830) - you deserved it (3289)

On 04/08/2013 at 2:12am - health - by chinatownhobo (man) - Australia (Australian Capital Territory)

Today, my parents told me that I'm no longer allowd to come home from boarding school on weekends cuz it will confuse my cats and disrupt there lives. mega FML

#20519879
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40674) - you deserved it (2640)

On 02/24/2013 at 6:17am - animals - by incendiaaa (woman) - Australia

TODAY, BOYFRIEND AND I WERE LOOKING AT ENGAGEMENT RINGS. WHEN THE STORE OWNER ASKD ABOUT OUR BUDGET, BOYFRIEND SAID WITH A STRAIGHT FACE, "NOTHING TOO EXPENSIVE, I HAVE A BIG PENIS SO I DON'T HAVE TO OVERCOMPENSATE BY BUYING A BIG DIAMOND." MEGA FML

#20494997
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34719) - you deserved it (6705)

On 02/05/2013 at 9:31pm - love - by NewlyDread (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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