ParanoidPaige

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ParanoidPaige

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 29 June 1994 (22 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1864
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About ParanoidPaige : I'm paige.
myspace.com/paigeownsyourass
[email protected]
if you add me, tell me you're from here plz.
(:!

ParanoidPaige's page activity

Visits<b>Fhrostty</b> - the 12/22/2013 at 8:14pm<b>trashyant</b> - the 04/27/2013 at 2:21pm<b>ha</b> - the 11/11/2009 at 2:59pm<b>ons</b> - the 09/10/2009 at 11:20pm<b>hatarou</b> - the 07/28/2009 at 8:36pm<b>ilovebrownies</b> - the 06/19/2009 at 9:43am<b>ururu_sama</b> - the 06/18/2009 at 9:53am<b>doodlebug93</b> - the 06/15/2009 at 12:28am<b>geezpapyy</b> - the 06/14/2009 at 6:23pm<b>Jessey</b> - the 05/27/2009 at 7:21pm<b>the_holy_one</b> - the 05/22/2009 at 3:34pm<b>hahayou12345</b> - the 05/05/2009 at 11:46am<b>Zog21</b> - the 05/02/2009 at 12:49am<b>LovelyCutiePie</b> - the 04/29/2009 at 8:37pm<b>BluEG0pher</b> - the 04/20/2009 at 7:26pm<b>Ineffableturtle</b> - the 04/18/2009 at 5:11pm<b>Lou_Briccant</b> - the 04/17/2009 at 11:06am<b>roll_fukng_tide</b> - the 04/15/2009 at 1:24am

ParanoidPaige's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

ParanoidPaige's favorite FMLs

Today, this girl and I were chilling in my apartment and things got heated up and we started making out. One thing lead to another and the next thing I knew she was giving me head. I was getting ready to bust when she stopped, looked up into my eyes and said "Do you believe in Jesus?" FML

by JAY22 / 03/26/2009 at 7:41am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, this girl and I were chilling in my apartment and things got heated up and we started making out. One thing lead to another and the next thing I knew she was giving me head. I was getting ready to bust when she stopped, looked up into my eyes and said "Do you believe in Jesus?" FML

by JAY22 / 03/26/2009 at 7:41am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, I realized my friends and I should be more careful what we say around my younger brother. I never thought he was paying attention until today. My stepmom told him it was time to go to bed. He responded, "I think it's time for you to suck one." My brother is 4. FML

by Alex / 03/26/2009 at 12:42am / United States (Georgia) / Kids

Today, I was texting two people at once. Trying to respond to my friend's text, I accidentally clicked on this guy's name instead, who I've never met. He just told me about his grandma's funeral he went to that was an open casket. I responded with, "Haha wow you slut, I'm sure you were aroused." FML

by ohhotdamn / 03/25/2009 at 10:48pm / United States (Kansas) / Geek

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was shaving off my beard for the first time in a very long time. I decided to have a little fun with it, and shaved my beard first into a goatee, then a handle-bar, then, finally, into a Hitler mustache. My electric razor dies. I don't have a normal one or an extra battery. FML

by nomorebeard / 03/25/2009 at 10:13am / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was using my dad's cell because I had broken mine. I was texting my boyfriend all day when my dad needed his phone back. I forgot to tell my boyfriend that my dad would be using the phone. My boyfriend then texted graphically what he wanted to do to my dad. FML

by Loho / 03/24/2009 at 10:46pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I fell asleep in class. As a joke, my professor used an airhorn to wake me up. I got so freaked out that I punched the girl next to me in the face. She got knocked out. FML

by Anonymous / 03/23/2009 at 3:06pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went swimming. As I was getting out of the very crowded pool a little girl ran up to me pointed and yelled, "Mommy, I want big boobies like that when I grow up." I'm 16. I'm a boy. FML

by joshinbaltimore / 03/22/2009 at 12:15am / United States (Oregon) / Kids

Today, my little 7 year old brother asked me what horny meant whilst in the car with my parents. When I wouldn't tell him what it meant he screamed, "I'm getting horny!" at the top of his lungs, and told my parents that I told him to say it. FML

by Anonymous / 03/21/2009 at 11:38pm / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, I got hypnotized in front of my entire school. Once I was hypnotized the guy told me that the hottest celebrity in the world was in the audience and then he told me to point out who I saw. I said I saw Mick Jagger. I'm a guy. FML

by Anonymous / 03/20/2009 at 11:10pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went into my older brother's room to get a condom. This happened the other day too when my boyfriend forgot one. So I went in there today and there was a note that said "Little Sister, stop using my condoms. And your boyfriend sounds like a girl when he climaxes." FML

by Stacy / 03/20/2009 at 8:43pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy

Today, my son said, "Mommy, sometimes my pee-pee goes up like a stick." I replied, "Well, honey, that's normal and okay." I then asked when it happens, to which he said, "Well, sometimes when watching Scooby Doo and Shaggy comes out dressed in lady clothes." FML

by ScoobieDoo / 03/20/2009 at 12:15am / United States (Washington) / Kids

Today, my cat was in the bathroom with me. I was getting undressed to get into the shower. My cat looked at me after I'd undressed and then threw up all over the rug. FML

by Noname / 03/12/2009 at 6:08pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Animals

Today, I called a priest "lame". He responded jokingly with "God will smite you!" I laughed and walked out the door. I tripped and broke my ankle. FML

by lolzor / 03/12/2009 at 8:07am / Australia (Queensland) / Health

Today, I was eating lunch naked at my home watching porn on the big screen. I heard the garage door opening meaning my roommate was coming home. In my haste to get dressed, I fell back in the barstool I was sitting in and knocked myself out. I woke up still naked and with lettuce all over me. FML

by HansonLUVR / 03/11/2009 at 8:26pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy