About Paintonmyarms214 : Hey. I don't really know what to put here, but on fml I usually lurk and wince at people's pain. Nothing much going on here.
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Paintonmyarms214's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 11/19/2015 at 9:52am / United States (California) / Love
by lacy / 03/01/2014 at 3:23am / United States (Kentucky) / Animals
Today, I found my dogs freezing outside. My neighbor was supposed to watch them while I was away, and on my way home I called to let her know she should let them have a quick walk. She thought I'd be home soon enough that she wouldn't have to let them back in. It was minus 10c out. FML
by Enyo / 01/01/2013 at 12:35pm / Reserved / Animals
Today, I was babysitting a four-year-old girl, when I came across a toy that sang the Macarena. For fun, I decided to teach her the dance. When she showed her parents, instead of putting her hands on her backside and turning, she decided to bend over and moon them. FML
by fired / 06/27/2012 at 4:48pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Kids
Today, I found out that I'm pregnant. I had an IUD put in two years ago that's supposed to prevent pregnancy. To put it in perspective, less than 1% of people using this IUD get pregnant. Lucky me. FML
by Anonymous / 06/27/2012 at 4:02pm / United States (Indiana) / Health
by Anonymous / 06/27/2012 at 4:01pm / Miscellaneous
by RatCityChick / 06/27/2012 at 1:18pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
Today, I was assigned to work on a huge project with Michael. Michael refers to himself in the third person, constantly mumbles unintelligibly to himself, doesn't smile, laugh or make eye contact, and refuses to address me directly. I'll be stuck with him for about four months. FML
by NoMagicMike / 06/27/2012 at 12:53pm / United States (Minnesota) / Work
by Wubba87 / 06/27/2012 at 6:32am / United Kingdom (Liverpool) / Work
Today, I tried for 45 minutes to convince my psychiatrist to take me off my antidepressant. When he finally agreed to do so, I broke down into tears and sobbed uncontrollably for 10 minutes. Hello, increased prescription. FML
by purpleskylight / 06/27/2012 at 1:29am / United States (Kentucky) / Health
by tammy / 06/27/2012 at 1:05am / United States (California) / Love
by maggie74 / 06/27/2012 at 12:58am / United States (Connecticut) / Intimacy
Today, I went to the bookstore and saw a stunning girl reading. I walked over and picked up a book, thinking our two books were the same category, hence a good conversation starter. She looked at me, and I pointed at my book and smiled. After that, she left. It was a sex position book. FML
by deli Shoppe / 06/27/2012 at 12:39am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by GirlOnTheFly / 06/27/2012 at 12:20am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Transportation
Today, I was at the beach with my parents, and I went for a swim in the sea. I got out and my parents started laughing their asses off. It wasn't until my dad pulled a condom out of my hair that I realized what they were laughing at. My dad even took a picture. FML
by Anonymous / 06/26/2012 at 6:04pm / United Kingdom (Edinburgh, City of) / Holidays
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I received a phone call, angry at me for not calling my dad on Father's Day. When I told her…