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Today, my 400 pound roommate brought home a 400 pound guy. Now there's 800 pounds of sex going on in the next room, and it sounds like the invasion of Normandy in there. FML
I agree, your life sucks (56402) - you deserved it (4915)
On 02/04/2011 at 12:42am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, my husband decided it would be funny to shout "Woohoo!" in Michael Jackson's voice while having an orgasm. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21645) - you deserved it (4439)
On 02/03/2011 at 12:17am - intimacy - by anonymous -
Today, at a restaurant, I ordered the best chocolate soufflé on the menu, which was called "Double Satisfaction". The waiter asked me what would I like to order. The words that came out of my mouth were "Double Orgasm". FML
I agree, your life sucks (13553) - you deserved it (27548)
On 02/01/2011 at 12:42pm - intimacy - by theshameofit (woman) - Cyprus (Limassol)
Today, at the supermarket, my mother stopped in the middle of a lane and imitated a gorilla as a way of asking me from far away if I wanted any bananas. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20065) - you deserved it (2898) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 01/17/2011 at 5:50pm - misc - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins
Today, I was getting it on with my boyfriend. I started to come, screaming, "Ah... ah... ah... AHH!" To which he added, "Staying alive! Staying alive!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (23132) - you deserved it (14876) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 01/17/2011 at 1:24am - intimacy - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins
Today, I slipped as I was about to take a shower, knocking myself out cold. I woke up to someone banging on my door. It was a cop checking to see if I was okay. When I asked how he knew to come, he said he was notified by "a male neighbor who called anonymously." I guess I have a peeping Tom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22553) - you deserved it (1329)
On 12/18/2009 at 3:46pm - health - by ThatAintLogical (woman) - United States (Louisiana)
Today, a spider crawled across my glasses' lens. My first reaction was to smack myself in the face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9035) - you deserved it (16417)
On 12/17/2009 at 2:09pm - animals - by ohmy (woman) - Canada
Today, I spent five minutes trying to kill a spider with my mind. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6263) - you deserved it (27754)
On 12/17/2009 at 4:58am - animals - by AnRom (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was walking on the boardwalk with my mom when an old man came up and asked me to marry him. He promised he would buy me a Mercedes if I did. The man was homeless and delusional. My mom told me I should take the offer because it would be the best offer I could get. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22996) - you deserved it (1817)
On 11/23/2009 at 1:09pm - misc - by ellie (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I decided to pay a suprise visit to my boyfriend's house. I let myself in, walked up to his bedroom and found him dancing around. In the dress I had left the other weekend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26340) - you deserved it (3884)
On 10/24/2009 at 8:20am - misc - by nnnaaazzz - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I was informed by my next door neighbor that they heard me singing in the shower last night. I laughed and she told me that the family gathers in their upstairs room closest to my bathroom window to guess which song I'm singing. Every night. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22750) - you deserved it (4327)
On 10/24/2009 at 6:27am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Hawaii)
Today, I was sitting in my bed drinking Yoohoo from a juice box. I decided it would be fun to see how much I could fit in my mouth. As soon as my mouth was full, I sneezed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5919) - you deserved it (24881)
On 10/22/2009 at 8:15pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I told my dad that for Halloween I'm going to be an '80s workout Barbie. He just looks at me and says, "Yeah as the 'before' picture". FML
I agree, your life sucks (20795) - you deserved it (5456)
On 10/22/2009 at 2:47pm - misc - by freshman15 (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I found out my mom is the nude model for an art class at my college. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42886) - you deserved it (1926)
On 10/22/2009 at 8:30am - misc - by scarred - Sent from mobile version
Today, I was helping a friend redecorate. Her dad has put up some shelving, that we presumed was stable. It broke, and all the expensive vases and collectables fell to the floor. On instinct, I leapt forward to catch the closest thing. It was not the expensive vase. It was a cactus. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25421) - you deserved it (2822)
On 10/21/2009 at 9:54am - misc - by TheSublime (woman) - United Kingdom (London)
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