Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

PHATERTL

Online | Search for a member

PHATERTL

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 876
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

PHATERTL's page activity

Visits<b>aliceanon</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 10:11am<b>Ari1337</b> - the 07/31/2013 at 11:06pm<b>Stefanie88</b> - the 04/02/2013 at 1:15am<b>carry_on</b> - the 01/27/2013 at 5:41pm<b>stevenJB</b> - the 01/23/2013 at 9:20am

PHATERTL's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

See all of PHATERTL's badges

PHATERTL's favorite FMLs

Today, despite my pain, my mom still refuses to take me to a foot doctor because, "They all have foot fetishes." FML

#20132061
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20085) - you deserved it (1264)

On 10/24/2012 at 10:44pm - health - by illjustlimpthen (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my son got expelled after using the photocopier to photocopy his penis. He then used the copies to replace every directional arrow posted throughout the school. FML

#20128322
279 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29714) - you deserved it (4518)

On 10/22/2012 at 2:56pm - kids - by thebeachisthatway (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I completely shaved my head as a gesture for my boyfriend's mother, who was suffering from cancer and having a terrible time undergoing chemotherapy. Turns out she doesn't even have cancer, and my boyfriend thought I wouldn't have the guts to do it. FML

#20110360
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32553) - you deserved it (4788)

On 10/10/2012 at 11:05am - misc - by horriblejoke (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my five-year-old daughter asked me why moms don't swallow clothes, so that their babies won't be born naked. My husband burst into derisive laughter, and has now trained her into responding to the name "Derp-Derp." FML

#20071956
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24029) - you deserved it (2792)

On 09/14/2012 at 7:06pm - kids - by -___- (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, I saw a large spider carry away the body of a dead spider in the bathroom. In my anthropology class, we learned one of the first signs of civilization is caring for the dead. First, they become civilized, and next, they take over. I will never sleep again. FML

Today, I woke up to a really cold feeling down below. I opened my eyes and saw my girlfriend grinning like a maniac and holding my crotch-sausage between two scissor blades. I screamed in terror like a little bitch, and she says I'm never gonna live this down. FML

#19506149
427 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41964) - you deserved it (3831)

On 04/21/2012 at 1:38pm - intimacy - by Hakimstah (man) - Lebanon

Today, I was at a party, when the cops busted us. Since I'm underage, I hid behind a chair for an hour and a half while they breathalyzed everyone and sat them in the same room I was in. The cops left, everyone realized I was behind the chair, and now my nickname is "Anne Frank". FML

#19455929
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14519) - you deserved it (34436)

On 04/12/2012 at 2:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, while making my daily offering of turd to the porcelain throne, I took out my phone and started playing a game. I suddenly felt a tickling sensation on my leg, and I freaked out as I saw hundreds of ants had emerged from behind the toilet. FML

#19215354
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29342) - you deserved it (3866)

On 03/04/2012 at 5:20pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)

Today, while waiting for my grandmother at the train station, a girl walked out and climbed into my car. When I cleared my throat to tell her of her mistake, she screamed and ran out as if I was a criminal trying to abduct her. FML

#19162083
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25888) - you deserved it (1987)

On 02/25/2012 at 4:38pm - misc - by eldar90 (man) - Israel

Today, my girlfriend decided to raid my games collection and try her hand at Amnesia: The Dark Descent. Two hours later, despite my best attempts to make her stop shrieking like a dying crackhead every two minutes, two cops showed up at the door with our neighbors in tow. FML

#18657725
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22617) - you deserved it (2572)

On 12/30/2011 at 9:43pm - misc - by axel519 (man) - United States

Today, I caught my mother attempting to write a $1400 cheque. To whom? The proprietor of a "Christian charity fund" with whom she had been having Internet conversations. The proprietor's name, and that on the cheque, was "Herp McDerpington". FML

#18540980
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30965) - you deserved it (2403)

On 12/18/2011 at 12:18am - misc - by scammed - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I got into a car accident. The other party left the scene immediately after without exchanging insurance information. Deer can be so rude. FML

#18267814
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26817) - you deserved it (7950)

On 11/16/2011 at 9:24pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I was bitched out by my 17 year old son's teacher. It seems the idiot teacher made the kids advocate for his own political beliefs in a presentation, and my son ended his speech saying, "And it remains my opinion that our instructor is cramping my motherfucking style." Instant suspension. FML

#18095977
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26505) - you deserved it (4906)

On 10/28/2011 at 11:52am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I learned that the only reason most of my students come to lecture is that they have a running bet on how many times I say "OK" in two hours. It was 137 last week. FML

#18025254
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22173) - you deserved it (9024)

On 10/19/2011 at 6:42pm - work - by Habit - United Kingdom (Leeds)

Today, I had a science test. A question asked, "What is the first stage of photosynthesis?" I didn't know, so just trying to be light-hearted, I wrote, "The plant must first believe in itself." My teacher didn't think it was funny, and gave me detention for insulting her intelligence. FML

#17804302
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24591) - you deserved it (15037)

On 09/22/2011 at 12:17pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States



FML's blog

  • Krumla's Illustrated FML
  • It's Friday, so a bold font is required. I was sitting in my caravan by the side of busy road cooking cocktail sausages over a gas stove when I realised it was time to start writing something about this…

Friday 24 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: