About P374RD3D : If I state the obvious, which I often do, it's usually because there are idiots who need it stated to them.
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100 kick ass comments
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P374RD3D's favorite FMLs
Today, I found out my home health patient purposely drinks tons of prune juice every night so I will have a huge mess to clean up in the morning because I'm "a lazy bastard" and I "need to work harder." FML
by melikeyturtles / 07/03/2012 at 11:08am / United States (Illinois) / Work
Today, my mom called to chew me out for having my sister arrested. My sister broke into my apartment, rearranged my living room, and claimed she now lived with me. She then threatened me with a butcher's knife for not appreciating what she had done. My mom wants me to pay the bail. FML
by needmorelocks / 07/03/2012 at 1:36am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by whoslade / 06/28/2012 at 1:36pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I confronted my daughter about the various drug-associated items I found in her room. She then confronted me about going in her room and invading her privacy, to the point where I forgot the main issue and apologised to her. I just got outsmarted by a teenage pothead. FML
by apparantlyStupid / 06/27/2012 at 7:28pm / Canada (Alberta) / Kids
by Coffee Boy / 06/23/2012 at 12:55am / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous
Today, I had an hour long meeting with my manager where she informed me the reason I had not been promoted is because she felt that people would not like to work for me, because I would, "make them do their job." FML
by Anonymous / 06/19/2012 at 3:00am / United States / Work
Today, I decided to motivate myself to workout by looking at a picture of a guy with a six-pack on my computer screen while doing abs. My dad walked in after I finished and was still breathing heavily from working out. FML
by NotGay / 06/16/2012 at 1:45am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
by fail / 06/15/2012 at 11:36am / United States (Tennessee) / Love
by brokeass / 06/13/2012 at 8:29am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I asked my girlfriend why she never lets me in her house. She stared blankly and said, "What is inside is not for thine eyes." I told her best friend about this creepiness later on. She sighed and said, "T'was not for mine eyes either. I didst fail to listen." I feel like I'm losing my mind here. FML
by amidreaming?? / 06/11/2012 at 5:45pm / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Love
Today, I went to the circus with my family. When we were looking at the animals during the break, an elephant took my purse with his trunk and ate it. It crushed my cellphone, camera, keys and wallet. After that, the circus director yelled at me for feeding poisonous stuff to his elephant. FML
by ILoveAnimals / 06/11/2012 at 3:14am / Austria (Wien) / Animals
by Anon / 06/10/2012 at 12:19am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, while driving home from work, I noticed the driver next to me was happily chatting on her phone. I fucking despise these would-be murderers, so I slammed my horn to signal my disgust. She panicked and swerved straight into my car. FML
by k / 06/09/2012 at 5:35pm / United Kingdom (Telford and Wrekin) / Transportation
by WTF / 06/09/2012 at 9:54am / Australia (South Australia) / Health
by Darwin_Award_Winner / 06/07/2012 at 8:10am / United States (Texas) / Health