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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Ozmat

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Ozmat
  • Town/Country : Brisbane, Australia
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 12 December 1985 (26 years)
  • Number of visits : 671
  • Number of comments : 106
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 28 posted

About Ozmat : I'm a girl that loves to party and have a good time.

Ozmat's last visitors

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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Ozmat's favorite FMLs

Today, while waiting on the platform, a blind man asked out loud for some help getting into the subway car. I helped him through the doors and into a seat. I decided to sit down as well. Twenty minutes later, I realized I was on the wrong subway line. FML

#13182714 (66)

I agree, your life sucks (16178) - you deserved it (4199)

On 09/24/2010 at 1:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, in math class, I had the urge to fart. I had the bright idea that if I dropped my textbook and farted at the same time, nobody would hear it. I dropped my textbook, everyone looked at me, then I farted. Loudly. FML

#11389778 (261)

I agree, your life sucks (13589) - you deserved it (41180)

On 06/22/2010 at 9:41pm - health - by fartwoman - United States (California)

Today, I woke up at a guy's house drunk and soaked in my own pee. I had passed out with all my clothes on. Since I was late for work and didn't have a change of clothes, all I could do was throw my jeans in the dryer. I had to sit all day at work in crusty pee pants. FML

#7905644 (151)

I agree, your life sucks (3637) - you deserved it (34435)

On 02/05/2010 at 1:22pm - misc - by goldenshower (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend and I started our diet. After a long day of being held accountable for every calorie I ate, I went home to sneak a snack. My boyfriend came over to surprise me, and found me on the couch shoveling left-over Indian food into my mouth. FML

#7621878 (148)

I agree, your life sucks (2302) - you deserved it (29505)

On 01/27/2010 at 8:29pm - misc - by Glutton (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my 5 month old son decided that my lip ring was a toy. Thinking it would be ok, I let him touch it. He got his finger caught and pulled his hand back. The lip ring is still in, but now I have a huge gaping hole in my face. FML

#7181113 (171)

I agree, your life sucks (6574) - you deserved it (32412)

On 01/06/2010 at 1:12pm - kids - by pinky (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I found out that shutting off the heat in the rental property my parents owned was a bad idea. The water froze and the pipes burst, causing the whole kitchen ceiling to fall down. The water ruined the wood floors and the appliances. I turned off the heat to save money. FML

#7146444 (86)

I agree, your life sucks (7725) - you deserved it (21231)

On 01/04/2010 at 2:20pm - money - by WorkSexMonkey (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was at my school's spaghetti dinner with my family. My brother shook up my mom's soda, as a prank. My entire class witnessed my mom waving around an overflowing Diet Coke while my dad yelled, "Come on, put your mouth on it! Suck it! Suck it, Kathy!!" FML

#4630669 (221)

I agree, your life sucks (74613) - you deserved it (4457)

On 08/18/2009 at 3:20pm - misc - by gbhlaughingstock (man) - United States

Today, I was going on a first date with a girl I really like. We were going to see the new Harry Potter movie, and she told me she was getting all dressed up. It was only after I picked her up I realized she meant that she was dressing nicely. I was dressed as Harry Potter. FML

#3866065 (289)

I agree, your life sucks (20068) - you deserved it (44410)

On 07/18/2009 at 9:26pm - misc - by harrysolo (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my daughter asked me when was the first time I had sex. After I told her 22 she quickly shouted, "Beat ya!" She's thirteen. FML

#226342 (993)

I agree, your life sucks (284912) - you deserved it (55472)

On 03/06/2009 at 2:04pm - intimacy - by Noname (woman) - United States (New Jersey)