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Ouellalex

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Ouellalex

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2983
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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Ouellalex's favorite FMLs

Today, while I was in the midst of the most mind-blowing shower sex ever, the fire alarm went off. My girlfriend had left the stove top on and the entire kitchen had caught on fire. So instead of finishing, I frantically ran around naked trying to douse the flames. FML

#19484170
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27146) - you deserved it (3875)

On 04/17/2012 at 2:13pm - intimacy - by blocked_by_fire (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I had to patiently listen as a customer nattered on and on about how incompetent I was for not stocking the movie she was looking for. It took nearly 20 minutes to get her to calm down long enough for me to explain that there is no such movie as "Hobbits With Shotguns". FML

#19246597
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26633) - you deserved it (2390)

On 03/09/2012 at 5:36pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my dad came to confiscate my phone. I stuck it in between my boobs so he wouldn't be able to see it. He said, "Honey, your breasts aren't big enough to hide that." FML

#17935197
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14389) - you deserved it (39815)

On 10/08/2011 at 1:03pm - misc - by G - United States (California)

Today, my friends and I were having a conversation about which mythical creature would be the most unlikely to exist in the real world. They all collectively agreed that it would be a girl who is attracted to me. FML

#17856112
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33394) - you deserved it (4478)

On 09/28/2011 at 3:26pm - love - by Unluckiest Guy of the group (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my boyfriend cheated on me. But he justified it by saying she was a ginger. FML

#17738914
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34112) - you deserved it (4267)

On 09/13/2011 at 8:07pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I learned that I'm allergic to hornets. I also learned that when your mom sprays a hornets' nest, and they come after you, that jumping in the pool doesn't help. They hover and wait for you to surface. FML

#17248199
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36597) - you deserved it (3141)

On 07/25/2011 at 12:14am - health - by sisi9999 (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my girlfriend haltingly dumped me over the phone. Faint splashes punctuated her grunting, straining sounds. FML

#15264127
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33363) - you deserved it (3591)

On 03/10/2011 at 4:42pm - love - by dumped (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was trying to go to sleep when I heard my sister come home from the bar. I fell asleep and woke up an hour later to see my sister squatting in my dresser drawer. I asked her what she was doing and she said "I'm peeing." FML

#14117268
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31551) - you deserved it (2591)

On 12/07/2010 at 6:08am - work - by jessefonsexy. (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I went to see a famous rapper perform. My girlfriend got us up to the front to get pictures with him. He went to give me a high-five, I thought it was a fist-bump, so I made a fist. So he made a fist while I made a palm to match his retracted high-five. Then I panicked, cupped his fist and ran. FML

#13986029
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13643) - you deserved it (29759)

On 11/26/2010 at 10:43am - misc - by blackitalian - United States

Today, I was casually looking through my girlfriend's phone while she got ready, though she made me promise not to. To my confusion, I discovered that she had me listed as 'Saturday' in her contacts. There was also a Thursday, Friday and Sunday listed. I only ever see her on Saturdays. FML

#13520163
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43494) - you deserved it (10046)

On 10/20/2010 at 12:47am - love - by iprobablyhaveherpes - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I was working on my family genealogy. I found out that my best friend's great-grandfather murdered my great-grandfather. FML

#13337964
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37769) - you deserved it (3509)

On 10/06/2010 at 12:32am - misc - by cantstoplaughing (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found my favorite stuffed animal I had as a child in the trash bin. I took it out to find that it felt wet and smelt funny. Apparently, my younger brother cut a hole in the butt of it and used it to masturbate. FML

#13145011
310 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53710) - you deserved it (3763)

On 09/21/2010 at 6:07pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I found out that whenever my best friend used to say she wanted to do my dad, she wasn't kidding. She accomplished her mission in my bed after school. FML

#12851592
340 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55709) - you deserved it (4376)

On 09/01/2010 at 7:10am - intimacy - by fmlskank93 - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I got a 95 on my term project. To congratulate me, my boyfriend said we're having sex tonight. I only get laid if I get good grades. FML

#8821519
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26530) - you deserved it (6194)

On 03/04/2010 at 10:48am - intimacy - by lalararara - United States

Today, I met my boyfriend's notoriously difficult mother. I had been looking forward to meeting her and making a good impression. Unfortunately, I could not greet her as her son's penis was still in my mouth. FML

#7318001
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29320) - you deserved it (14802)

On 01/13/2010 at 11:42am - intimacy - by pleasedtomeetyou (woman) - United Kingdom



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