Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Otherkin

Offline (18 hours ago) | Search for a member

Otherkin

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4797
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Otherkin's page activity

Visits<b>Riya2595</b> - the 05/28/2012 at 7:00am<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 11:22pm<b>acccccccc</b> - the 05/13/2010 at 7:34pm<b>Miss_lunatic</b> - the 04/21/2010 at 9:33am

Otherkin's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

Otherkin's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up to the sound of my roommate's alarm clock going off at 6:00 in the morning. His bedroom door was locked, and he was passed out in his bed from drinking too much. It rang continuously for five and a half hours before it finally ran out of batteries. FML

#12934228
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27551) - you deserved it (2780)

On 09/06/2010 at 2:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, my boyfriend got scared of a fly, freaked out, and accidentally punched me in the face. FML

#12926482
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27545) - you deserved it (3736)

On 09/06/2010 at 12:25am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (North Dakota)

Today, I was at work and was confronted by a customer wanting to get a "Nemo" fish. I explained that 'Nemo' needs to live in saltwater, not freshwater, like their tank was. The customer then turns around and grabs a perforated tank divider and says, "Can't I just split them up with this?" FML

#12924795
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21262) - you deserved it (2861)

On 09/05/2010 at 11:01pm - work - by christiner - Sent from mobile version

Today, I took some friends out to the woods to show them a natural spring. I explained to them that the water bubbles up from under ground, and that it's clean and tasty. I bent down and drank a few hefty handfuls only to look up and see a dead raccoon floating near me. FML

#12911536
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21360) - you deserved it (20994)

On 09/05/2010 at 1:22am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I was talking to my crush on MSN. She was telling me how her friend had passed away recently. I had two chats open and accidentally replied, "That's hilarious." FML

#12887848
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17253) - you deserved it (35777)

On 09/03/2010 at 4:51pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was applying Icy Hot. I squeezed the bottle too hard making it squirt in my eye. I ran to the bathroom in agony, turned on the faucet, and slammed my face right into it. FML

#12887269
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28523) - you deserved it (6346)

On 09/03/2010 at 3:59pm - health - by Jesska (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was working as a camp counselor helping a five year old girl. I heard her mumble, "My grandpa is getting married on Saturday." I enthusiastically replied and told her how exciting that was! Only after did I realize that she said 'buried'. FML

#12738391
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26296) - you deserved it (8254)

On 08/25/2010 at 12:32pm - misc - by counselor - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I got a text from my boyfriend whilst on the train home from spending the weekend with him at his Grandparents house. It said 'Gran says to tell you that the bin beside the toilet is actually for storing spare shampoos and tooth brushes, so could you not put your tampons in it next time?' FML

#12725803
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31870) - you deserved it (7689)

On 08/24/2010 at 7:46pm - love - by DyingOfShame (woman) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

Today, while getting a lump in my private region examined by a very cute nurse, I got a massive erection. The smartest thing I could think to say at the time to her was: "I haven't been touched there in a very long time." FML

#12051058
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35584) - you deserved it (15288)

On 07/22/2010 at 8:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)

Today, I got a speeding ticket. I wrote a check, and on the way to deposit my fine, I got another one. I put both fines in a box down town, and I turned around to see a cop putting a parking ticket under my wind-shield wiper. FML

#11857753
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19065) - you deserved it (43503)

On 07/13/2010 at 7:15pm - misc - by Criminal (man) - United States (South Dakota)

Today, I got bitch-slapped by a walrus at Sea Life Park. FML

#11841759
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38197) - you deserved it (9798)

On 07/13/2010 at 12:34am - misc - by Betchsadface - United States

Today, I drew a face on a balloon and pretended to make out with it. The balloon popped and shot to the back of my throat, where it got caught. FML

#11831310
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11443) - you deserved it (65256)

On 07/12/2010 at 3:42pm - health - by jazthefish (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my family and I went to the coast. Our dog was off the leash because we were the only people around. He was delighted to find a dead seal carcass and roll around in its remains. We then had a 3 hour drive home. FML

#11822589
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26033) - you deserved it (7817)

On 07/12/2010 at 1:38am - animals - by LexiBoBexi (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I started to type up a mass text to tell a decent amount of my friends that I'd just come home to a surprise from my boyfriend. Trying to fix a typo, I accidentally hit send with the text only saying "Guess what?! I just came." FML

#9070560
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23767) - you deserved it (10049)

On 03/14/2010 at 10:49am - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, after finishing the laundry, I took clothes out of the dryer and took a big whiff of their delicious clean scent. That was when I noticed that my mom was watching me, and I had just smelled my dad's still-stained underwear that was on top. FML

#9048258
285 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22534) - you deserved it (9864)

On 03/13/2010 at 2:32pm - misc - by smellsgood (woman) - United States (Oregon)



FML's blog

  • K'Naye's illustrated FML
  • Woohoo it's the weekend! Winter is all around some of us, but not in our hearts. To help fight off the cold and seasonal depression, this week we're taking a look at love and tenderness. It's what keeps…

Friday 21 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: