Oritsuru

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Offline (the 07/08/2014 at 8:20pm)

Oritsuru

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 31 August 1991 (25 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4834
  • Number of comments : 18
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Oritsuru : Not much really, just ask if you would like.

Oritsuru's page activity

Visits<b>countryb_cth</b> - the 01/16/2015 at 7:29pm<b>odod777</b> - the 10/01/2013 at 3:15pm<b>threer</b> - the 09/29/2013 at 7:51pm<b>Exotic_Nihilism</b> - the 01/24/2013 at 9:21am<b>lmc94</b> - the 09/18/2012 at 11:52am<b>youtubetre</b> - the 05/19/2012 at 7:04am<b>The_Troller</b> - the 02/17/2012 at 6:55pm<b>Sebastian_NG</b> - the 12/30/2011 at 9:02pm<b>FaceMyLies</b> - the 12/23/2011 at 7:59am<b>Cuervo23</b> - the 11/15/2011 at 8:50pm<b>Riiley</b> - the 11/15/2011 at 8:01pm<b>FYLDeep</b> - the 11/02/2011 at 3:42am<b>crownlogic</b> - the 10/27/2011 at 11:06am<b>Doortje</b> - the 10/26/2011 at 5:51am<b>maphineRAWRS</b> - the 10/25/2011 at 9:34am<b>nerdsgetmehot</b> - the 10/20/2011 at 12:12am<b>IntoTheClouds</b> - the 10/19/2011 at 9:38pm<b>13FTW</b> - the 10/19/2011 at 7:22pm

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Oritsuru's favorite FMLs

Today, I drove past a firehouse that had volunteer firemen taking collections. I take out a $20 and start to roll the window down when I remember my window was broken. I ended up driving by, holding the $20 against the window, staring at the fireman. Now the fireman thinks I was taunting him. FML

by Anonymous / 04/18/2009 at 1:09am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was bored and decided it would be fun to pretend to be an undercover cop and pull over other cars. The first car I pulled over was a real undercover cop. FML

by tvaladie / 04/16/2009 at 8:19pm / United States (Tennessee) / Transportation

Today, during dress rehearsal before the show, I came in with crutches pretending I broke my leg as a joke. I then threw away the crutches, laughed and then fell down some stairs. I am now in crutches with a broken leg. I was the lead. FML

by seussical65 / 04/14/2009 at 9:48am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I finally decided to get a dog. I have always been wanting to get one ever since I was a child. I bought a $1,400 Golden Retriever. I went out for lunch a few hours later with a friend, so I left my dog in the backyard. I came back home to a broken fence and no dog. FML

by Anonymous / 04/10/2009 at 11:40pm / United States (Connecticut) / Animals

Today, for the first time ever, a woman saw my penis. I am 30 years old. The woman was my doctor. She snorted to cover a laugh and apologized. FML

by Anonymous / 04/10/2009 at 5:40pm / United States (Virginia) / Health

Today, I was bored at my job at Home Depot. I got a bar code tattoo 3 weeks ago and thought it would be funny to scan it. I'm a $5.98 160z claw hammer. FML

by tool / 04/09/2009 at 2:03am / United States (Nevada) / Work

Today, I went to the doctor because my arm hurt. When he told me I had tennis elbow I said "that's funny I don't play tennis". Then he asked me if I had a girlfriend. When I said no he said "Well I guess we solved this one." FML

by Anonymous / 04/04/2009 at 12:34am / United States (Georgia) / Health

Today, a 7-year-old girl came up to me and told me to go fuck myself. I told her to watch her language or else I'd tell her parents. Her mom happened to be nearby and actually heard the conversation; she came up to me and told me to go fuck myself as well. FML

by Wmsys32pr9 / 03/30/2009 at 1:06am / United States (Washington) / Kids

Today, I was mowing the lawn of my brand new house, located in a very nice neighborhood (I am a hispanic male), and a lady in her nice white cadillac drove up and asked me, in extremely broken spanish, if I could mow her lawn too. FML

by Michaelichael / 03/28/2009 at 4:17pm / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was talking to my guy friend about prom. I told him I was turned down by 7 guys. So he said "Well, you could always ask me." I then said "Do you want to go to prom with me?" His response was "Nope...now that's 8!" FML

by rejected / 03/27/2009 at 8:38pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, my parents came to visit me at the ranch I work at. They're scared to death of horses, but I was explaining how they are almost completely harmless. I was showing them how to work around the horse without getting kicked. As they relaxed, the horse kicked me. I now have a broken leg. FML

by Owned / 03/25/2009 at 7:43pm / United States (California) / Health

Today, I completed my 6 month training program for a track competition this weekend. I went to the park to run anyways because I needed some air after my boyfriend broke up with me. After one lap, my neighbor's 130 lb dog ran across the soccer field and jumped on me to say hi. My leg is broken. FML

by fmrunning / 03/25/2009 at 12:18am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Animals

Today, I was using my dad's cell because I had broken mine. I was texting my boyfriend all day when my dad needed his phone back. I forgot to tell my boyfriend that my dad would be using the phone. My boyfriend then texted graphically what he wanted to do to my dad. FML

by Loho / 03/24/2009 at 10:46pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was going to a concert. I left my wallet at home because I was afraid it would get stolen, or lost or something. After an awesome night, I came back home to find that my house had been broken into, and every dollar that was in my wallet got stolen. FML

by Mkester / 03/24/2009 at 1:05am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I came home and saw on our fridge, "Please don't drink anymore, I really worry about your health" written by my 7-year-old daughter. I figured she wouldn't ever find out, so I opened the fridge. But I found another note on a can that said "So you're going to drink anyway?" FML

by Anonymous / 03/21/2009 at 12:46am / United States (Florida) / Kids