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Oritsuru

Offline (the 07/08/2014 at 8:20pm) | Search for a member

Oritsuru

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 31 August 1991 (23 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2634
  • Number of comments : 18
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Oritsuru : Not much really, just ask if you would like.

Oritsuru's page activity

Visits<b>odod777</b> - the 10/01/2013 at 3:15pm<b>threer</b> - the 09/29/2013 at 7:51pm<b>Exotic_Nihilism</b> - the 01/24/2013 at 9:21am<b>lmc94</b> - the 09/18/2012 at 11:52am<b>youtubetre</b> - the 05/19/2012 at 7:04am<b>The_Troller</b> - the 02/17/2012 at 6:55pm<b>Sebastian_NG</b> - the 12/30/2011 at 9:02pm<b>FaceMyLies</b> - the 12/23/2011 at 7:59am<b>Cuervo23</b> - the 11/15/2011 at 8:50pm<b>Riiley</b> - the 11/15/2011 at 8:01pm<b>FYLDeep</b> - the 11/02/2011 at 3:42am<b>crownlogic</b> - the 10/27/2011 at 11:06am<b>Doortje</b> - the 10/26/2011 at 5:51am<b>maphineRAWRS</b> - the 10/25/2011 at 9:34am<b>nerdsgetmehot</b> - the 10/20/2011 at 12:12am<b>IntoTheClouds</b> - the 10/19/2011 at 9:38pm<b>13FTW</b> - the 10/19/2011 at 7:22pm<b>CloudEnvy</b> - the 10/19/2011 at 1:05pm

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Oritsuru's favorite FMLs

Today, some drunk dude broke into my house while my parents were out. Scared, I asked him what he wanted, his response was "cookies." FML

#7264308
183 comments

Today, I had one more gift to buy: a copy of Fight Club. I asked a person working at Best Buy if they had any in stock. The man wouldn't sell me the last copy because I had broken the first two rules. FML

#6923345
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26772) - you deserved it (11851)

On 12/24/2009 at 3:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, when I walked up to my car, all my windows were smashed. Thankfully, all I keep in my car is jumper cables, a pen, my car insurance and manual. Whoever smashed my windows apparently was pissed, 'cos they left a note saying "F**k you and your f**king station wagon". FML

#6315391
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28687) - you deserved it (2258)

On 11/15/2009 at 6:16pm - misc - by Smashed (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I had to take a dump. While looking for a book to read, I sneezed. The force of the sneeze caused me to shit my pants. The glob of dung then ran down my leg before falling out of my shorts onto my carpet, all in less than 5 seconds. Nothing in my life has prepared me for this. FML

#5828114
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (87725) - you deserved it (14667)

On 10/14/2009 at 1:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, the subway was extremely crowded and I ended up with my butt in a man's crotch. I kept trying to inch away or turn a different way, but there was no room. He could have turned to face the doors, but didn't. He got an erection. I was on there with him for 20 minutes. FML

#5486035
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45313) - you deserved it (4945)

On 09/26/2009 at 2:21pm - misc - by grossgross (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I pulled someone over for speeding. He was only 10 over the speed limit so I gave him an $84 fine. It turns out he is a workplace Occupational Health and Safety officer and because I wasn't wearing my high visibilty vest while standing on the side of the road he gave me a $250 fine. FML

#5309221
374 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22409) - you deserved it (78039)

On 09/17/2009 at 6:57am - work - by auscop (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I lazily answered the door in my pajamas. It was my elderly neighbor asking to borrow a can opener. Despite the strange and unwarranted scowl she was giving me I obliged. It wasn't until after she had left that I notice my penis was completely sticking out through the flap in my pants. FML

#4861565
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41308) - you deserved it (19451)

On 08/27/2009 at 3:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I finally worked up the nerve to text the girl I've had a crush on to ask her on a date. I got back the reply, "Error message 3265: Number No Longer In Swrvice." Not only can she not spell, when I looked it up, "error 3265" doesn't even exist. FML

#4606159
265 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70234) - you deserved it (8189)

On 08/17/2009 at 5:41pm - love - by ZSL (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I found out my husband had bought my 1-year-old daughter a shirt that says "Birth Control Fail" in pink glittery letters. He even took her out in it while I was at work. FML

#4525246
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59822) - you deserved it (7154)

On 08/14/2009 at 12:57pm - kids - by ohgod (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I was on the phone bragging to a friend about losing my virginity last night. When I went downstairs, my 6 year old sister was digging through my purse. She explained that she had overheard my conversation and wanted to help me find my virginity. My mom was in the kitchen with us. FML

#4505034
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35038) - you deserved it (78821)

On 08/13/2009 at 4:57pm - kids - by bubbalicious (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my mom drove me to football practice. On the way she told me that she thought I was gay and that my friend was my lover. After 15 agonizing minutes of this, we get to my practice only to be greeted by my shirtless friend wearing a pink bandana saying "Man, you hit me hard last night." FML

#4421825
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (75874) - you deserved it (6562)

On 08/10/2009 at 3:10am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was taking a shower and I saw a new body wash that said "radiance ribbons." That sounded a little effeminate, but it smelled manly enough and the only alternative was normal soap, so I used it. Just now, I stepped out into the sun and found out what "radiance ribbons" means. I sparkle. FML

#3639578
461 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59131) - you deserved it (30759)

On 07/10/2009 at 1:03pm - misc - by takinabreak (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)



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