About Oritsuru : Not much really, just ask if you would like.
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Oritsuru's favorite FMLs
Today, in the senior class I teach, I asked my students who had traveled outside of the country, excluding Canada and Mexico. One student raised his hand and proudly stated, "Arizona". He wants to be a doctor. FML
by Anonymous / 10/14/2011 at 2:42am / United States (Florida) / Kids
Today, I awoke to rose petals leading me to the front garden. Curious, I followed them, thinking my boyfriend planned something romantic. As I walked out the door, I was hit in the face with a paper plate full of whipped cream and sprinkles, and then locked outside. FML
by Eet- / 10/13/2011 at 3:20pm / United Kingdom (Dorset) / Love
Today, I had to climb up and sit in a tree for half an hour to avoid being mauled by a huge, insane dog. Its weird-looking owner eventually turned up, sneered at me, and walked off with the visibly smug dog in tow. FML
by Doglover / 10/13/2011 at 11:55am / United Kingdom (Southampton) / Animals
by pillowless / 10/13/2011 at 10:41am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I overheard my husband talking to our 6 year-old about animals for a project. I listened, thinking it was cute, until my husband said gleefully, "Remember to say this in your project: octopuses have 8 testicles." FML
by daddoesn'tknowbest / 10/13/2011 at 8:24am / United States / Kids
Today, somebody ordered pizza and sent it to the house across the street from them, so they could shoot at the pizza guy with an air-soft gun from the upstairs of their house. I was that delivery guy. FML
by Anonymous / 10/13/2011 at 4:17am / United States (Washington) / Work
Today, I was driving when I saw someone pulled over on the side of the road. Wanting to help, I pulled over. In so doing, I ran over a nail, which popped my tire. The guy had just pulled over to pee. FML
by happyshit / 10/13/2011 at 3:27am / United States (Arizona) / Transportation
Today, it's my birthday. I asked everyone for iTunes money, pleased to finally be able to buy some new songs for my iPod. After receiving several gift cards, I discovered that my iPod had been stolen. FML
by ipodless / 10/12/2011 at 8:47pm / United States (California) / Money
by omgreally91 / 10/12/2011 at 7:39pm / United States / Health
by WhoopteeDooDoo / 10/12/2011 at 6:47pm / United States (Texas) / Money
by Nickname / 10/12/2011 at 4:05pm / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous
Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my family. It was going well until my 23 year old sister started telling him in detail about her constipation and that if she doesn't take a shit in a few days, it's going to come out of her mouth. FML
by Lauren / 10/12/2011 at 1:55pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous
by octoberrain / 10/12/2011 at 11:41am / United States / Animals
Today, I was driving my eight year-old son to school when a guy cut me off, prompting me to yell "douche bag" as a reflex out of the window. Realizing my mistake, I turned to my son and told him to never, ever talk like that. His response was, "Too late, douche bag." FML
by John W. / 10/12/2011 at 8:37am / United States (Colorado) / Kids
Today, I left my window open while practicing the saxophone. My drunk neighbours showed their appreciation for the music with a well-aimed firecracker that set my mattress on fire. My landlord has threatened to evict me as she thinks I set it off. FML
by ItaliczZz / 10/12/2011 at 4:13am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous