Oritsuru

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Offline (the 07/08/2014 at 8:20pm)

Oritsuru

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 31 August 1991 (24 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4377
  • Number of comments : 18
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Oritsuru : Not much really, just ask if you would like.

Oritsuru's page activity

Visits<b>countryb_cth</b> - the 01/16/2015 at 7:29pm<b>odod777</b> - the 10/01/2013 at 3:15pm<b>threer</b> - the 09/29/2013 at 7:51pm<b>Exotic_Nihilism</b> - the 01/24/2013 at 9:21am<b>lmc94</b> - the 09/18/2012 at 11:52am<b>youtubetre</b> - the 05/19/2012 at 7:04am<b>The_Troller</b> - the 02/17/2012 at 6:55pm<b>Sebastian_NG</b> - the 12/30/2011 at 9:02pm<b>FaceMyLies</b> - the 12/23/2011 at 7:59am<b>Cuervo23</b> - the 11/15/2011 at 8:50pm<b>Riiley</b> - the 11/15/2011 at 8:01pm<b>FYLDeep</b> - the 11/02/2011 at 3:42am<b>crownlogic</b> - the 10/27/2011 at 11:06am<b>Doortje</b> - the 10/26/2011 at 5:51am<b>maphineRAWRS</b> - the 10/25/2011 at 9:34am<b>nerdsgetmehot</b> - the 10/20/2011 at 12:12am<b>IntoTheClouds</b> - the 10/19/2011 at 9:38pm<b>13FTW</b> - the 10/19/2011 at 7:22pm

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Oritsuru's favorite FMLs

Today, in the senior class I teach, I asked my students who had traveled outside of the country, excluding Canada and Mexico. One student raised his hand and proudly stated, "Arizona". He wants to be a doctor. FML

by Anonymous / 10/14/2011 at 2:42am / United States (Florida) / Kids

Today, I awoke to rose petals leading me to the front garden. Curious, I followed them, thinking my boyfriend planned something romantic. As I walked out the door, I was hit in the face with a paper plate full of whipped cream and sprinkles, and then locked outside. FML

by Eet- / 10/13/2011 at 3:20pm / United Kingdom (Dorset) / Love

Today, I had to climb up and sit in a tree for half an hour to avoid being mauled by a huge, insane dog. Its weird-looking owner eventually turned up, sneered at me, and walked off with the visibly smug dog in tow. FML

by Doglover / 10/13/2011 at 11:55am / United Kingdom (Southampton) / Animals

Today, I came home to find that my house had been broken into. The items stolen were my PS3, cell phone, laptop, tablets, and for some reason my deodorant and pillowcases as well. FML

by pillowless / 10/13/2011 at 10:41am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I overheard my husband talking to our 6 year-old about animals for a project. I listened, thinking it was cute, until my husband said gleefully, "Remember to say this in your project: octopuses have 8 testicles." FML

by daddoesn'tknowbest / 10/13/2011 at 8:24am / United States / Kids

Today, somebody ordered pizza and sent it to the house across the street from them, so they could shoot at the pizza guy with an air-soft gun from the upstairs of their house. I was that delivery guy. FML

by Anonymous / 10/13/2011 at 4:17am / United States (Washington) / Work

Today, I was driving when I saw someone pulled over on the side of the road. Wanting to help, I pulled over. In so doing, I ran over a nail, which popped my tire. The guy had just pulled over to pee. FML

by happyshit / 10/13/2011 at 3:27am / United States (Arizona) / Transportation

Today, it's my birthday. I asked everyone for iTunes money, pleased to finally be able to buy some new songs for my iPod. After receiving several gift cards, I discovered that my iPod had been stolen. FML

by ipodless / 10/12/2011 at 8:47pm / United States (California) / Money

Today, I spent an hour photoshopping my face onto super skinny models as inspiration for a diet. FML

by omgreally91 / 10/12/2011 at 7:39pm / United States / Health

Today, I pulled into the gas station to fill up only to realize I had forgot my wallet. By the time I went home, got it, and came back, the price had gone up eleven cents. FML

by WhoopteeDooDoo / 10/12/2011 at 6:47pm / United States (Texas) / Money

Today, I went to the emergency room for busting my lip open, I had to lie and tell them I slipped and fell. In reality I was singing with the soap bottle and slammed it into my lip. FML

by Nickname / 10/12/2011 at 4:05pm / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous

Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my family. It was going well until my 23 year old sister started telling him in detail about her constipation and that if she doesn't take a shit in a few days, it's going to come out of her mouth. FML

by Lauren / 10/12/2011 at 1:55pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous

Today, my upstairs neighbor was leaving the parking lot, and stopped to wave. I smiled and waved back, only to realize that she was saying goodbye to her cat, who was sitting in the window. FML

by octoberrain / 10/12/2011 at 11:41am / United States / Animals

Today, I was driving my eight year-old son to school when a guy cut me off, prompting me to yell "douche bag" as a reflex out of the window. Realizing my mistake, I turned to my son and told him to never, ever talk like that. His response was, "Too late, douche bag." FML

by John W. / 10/12/2011 at 8:37am / United States (Colorado) / Kids

Today, I left my window open while practicing the saxophone. My drunk neighbours showed their appreciation for the music with a well-aimed firecracker that set my mattress on fire. My landlord has threatened to evict me as she thinks I set it off. FML

by ItaliczZz / 10/12/2011 at 4:13am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous