Oritsuru

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Offline (the 07/08/2014 at 8:20pm)

Oritsuru

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 31 August 1991 (25 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4655
  • Number of comments : 18
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Oritsuru : Not much really, just ask if you would like.

Oritsuru's page activity

Visits<b>countryb_cth</b> - the 01/16/2015 at 7:29pm<b>odod777</b> - the 10/01/2013 at 3:15pm<b>threer</b> - the 09/29/2013 at 7:51pm<b>Exotic_Nihilism</b> - the 01/24/2013 at 9:21am<b>lmc94</b> - the 09/18/2012 at 11:52am<b>youtubetre</b> - the 05/19/2012 at 7:04am<b>The_Troller</b> - the 02/17/2012 at 6:55pm<b>Sebastian_NG</b> - the 12/30/2011 at 9:02pm<b>FaceMyLies</b> - the 12/23/2011 at 7:59am<b>Cuervo23</b> - the 11/15/2011 at 8:50pm<b>Riiley</b> - the 11/15/2011 at 8:01pm<b>FYLDeep</b> - the 11/02/2011 at 3:42am<b>crownlogic</b> - the 10/27/2011 at 11:06am<b>Doortje</b> - the 10/26/2011 at 5:51am<b>maphineRAWRS</b> - the 10/25/2011 at 9:34am<b>nerdsgetmehot</b> - the 10/20/2011 at 12:12am<b>IntoTheClouds</b> - the 10/19/2011 at 9:38pm<b>13FTW</b> - the 10/19/2011 at 7:22pm

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Oritsuru's favorite FMLs

Today, while jogging in the park, I saw a man acting strange and trying to talk to 3 little girls. I jogged over to their mother and warned her about a 'weirdo' lurking around her daughters. Turns out that 'weirdo' is the woman's disabled brother. FML

by cristina_laila / 10/15/2011 at 9:13pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my mom left for a business trip. Thinking it was a good time to throw a party, I mass messaged everyone on my contact list. I thought it was going to be a success. The problem with this? My mom is on my contacts list. She replied "I'll be home in an hour. You're grounded." FML

by mass message / 10/15/2011 at 8:47pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to take my son to the emergency room for shooting himself in the ass with a BB gun. FML

by myfamilyisodd / 10/15/2011 at 1:05pm / United States (North Carolina) / Kids

Today, my brother put pepper spray on my toilet paper. FML

by Ca13b / 10/15/2011 at 3:18am / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous

Today, I saw an unbelievably cute guy. He caught my eye and began to walk towards me. I adjusted myself and flashed him a smile. He came up to me, smiled back, and said "Hi, do you have a minute for gay rights?" FML

by Anonymous / 10/15/2011 at 2:58am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, my balls were stepped on while I was taking a nap in the park. The man said he didn't see me lying there. I was wearing a neon orange jacket. FML

by dak-rod423 / 10/15/2011 at 12:33am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was struggling to cycle up a steep hill. A guy heading past me on a scooter said I'd lost something. I stopped and looked back. Seeing nothing, I asked him what I lost. He replied, "Your momentum!" FML

by adieuvelib / 10/14/2011 at 9:53pm / France / Miscellaneous

Today, I came home from school to find almost every single personal possession and piece of furniture from my bedroom all laid out or disassembled in the back yard. My dad smugly told me I'd better start moving it all back. This is his revenge for me salting his coffee this morning. FML

by Anonymous / 10/14/2011 at 9:48pm / Canada / Miscellaneous

Today, I realized the closest I've ever been to being hit on was with a car in the school parking lot. Even then, the guy claimed he "didn't notice" me. FML

by Anonymous / 10/14/2011 at 6:40pm / United States (New Mexico) / Love

Today, for the first time, I beat my brother in a game of CoD. Not being a gamer, I was ecstatic. Later, when I was in the shower, my brother snuck in the bathroom, yelled "Napalm strike!" and threw our cat over the shower curtain like a furry grenade from hell. FML

by MLGreco / 10/14/2011 at 12:11pm / United States / Kids

Today, my father started drinking a little early. At some point, he got hungry and decided to boil eggs. He started a dozen, drank some more, and passed out on the couch. When I came home, all the water had boiled off and the eggs had exploded all over the kitchen. I'm still cleaning up the mess. FML

by francesa_loca / 10/14/2011 at 12:09pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I have been pissing blood for 2 hours, ever since some douche in a Nixon mask ran up and slugged me in the kidney. FML

by Nixontones / 10/14/2011 at 11:09am / United States (Illinois) / Health

Today, my dad yelled at me for buying chunky peanut butter. He wanted smooth. Apparently he's "allergic to peanuts." I had to explain to him why his argument made no sense. FML

by Anonymous / 10/14/2011 at 10:41am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, my dad used the stove to boil water. Unfortunately, he turned the wrong burner on, setting the smoke alarm off. What's worse was the smell of burning plastic that came from the coffeemaker being melted down. It's been over an hour, and my eyes still burn like hell when I walk into the kitchen. FML

by cnkk07 / 10/14/2011 at 6:36am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, at work, a customer asked for my number. When I declined, he made a huge scene, shouting and scaring other customers. He tipped me seven cents. FML

by scribbler8 / 10/14/2011 at 5:35am / Canada (Ontario) / Work