About Oritsuru : Not much really, just ask if you would like.
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Oritsuru's favorite FMLs
Today, while jogging in the park, I saw a man acting strange and trying to talk to 3 little girls. I jogged over to their mother and warned her about a 'weirdo' lurking around her daughters. Turns out that 'weirdo' is the woman's disabled brother. FML
by cristina_laila / 10/15/2011 at 9:13pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, my mom left for a business trip. Thinking it was a good time to throw a party, I mass messaged everyone on my contact list. I thought it was going to be a success. The problem with this? My mom is on my contacts list. She replied "I'll be home in an hour. You're grounded." FML
by mass message / 10/15/2011 at 8:47pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
by myfamilyisodd / 10/15/2011 at 1:05pm / United States (North Carolina) / Kids
by Ca13b / 10/15/2011 at 3:18am / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous
Today, I saw an unbelievably cute guy. He caught my eye and began to walk towards me. I adjusted myself and flashed him a smile. He came up to me, smiled back, and said "Hi, do you have a minute for gay rights?" FML
by Anonymous / 10/15/2011 at 2:58am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
by dak-rod423 / 10/15/2011 at 12:33am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was struggling to cycle up a steep hill. A guy heading past me on a scooter said I'd lost something. I stopped and looked back. Seeing nothing, I asked him what I lost. He replied, "Your momentum!" FML
by adieuvelib / 10/14/2011 at 9:53pm / France / Miscellaneous
Today, I came home from school to find almost every single personal possession and piece of furniture from my bedroom all laid out or disassembled in the back yard. My dad smugly told me I'd better start moving it all back. This is his revenge for me salting his coffee this morning. FML
by Anonymous / 10/14/2011 at 9:48pm / Canada / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 10/14/2011 at 6:40pm / United States (New Mexico) / Love
Today, for the first time, I beat my brother in a game of CoD. Not being a gamer, I was ecstatic. Later, when I was in the shower, my brother snuck in the bathroom, yelled "Napalm strike!" and threw our cat over the shower curtain like a furry grenade from hell. FML
by MLGreco / 10/14/2011 at 12:11pm / United States / Kids
Today, my father started drinking a little early. At some point, he got hungry and decided to boil eggs. He started a dozen, drank some more, and passed out on the couch. When I came home, all the water had boiled off and the eggs had exploded all over the kitchen. I'm still cleaning up the mess. FML
by francesa_loca / 10/14/2011 at 12:09pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous
by Nixontones / 10/14/2011 at 11:09am / United States (Illinois) / Health
by Anonymous / 10/14/2011 at 10:41am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
Today, my dad used the stove to boil water. Unfortunately, he turned the wrong burner on, setting the smoke alarm off. What's worse was the smell of burning plastic that came from the coffeemaker being melted down. It's been over an hour, and my eyes still burn like hell when I walk into the kitchen. FML
by cnkk07 / 10/14/2011 at 6:36am / United States / Miscellaneous
by scribbler8 / 10/14/2011 at 5:35am / Canada (Ontario) / Work
- Today, my boyfriend and I had amazing make-up sex after a huge fight. Turns out he forgot to let me… Today, was the first time giving head to my boyfriend. He couldn't finish, so I tried a handjob. In… Today, I overheard my parents having sex. Trying to be the reasonable person I was, I dismissed it,…