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Oritsuru's favorite FMLs
by Epiphany / 07/19/2012 at 5:01am / United States / Health
by Dammit / 07/07/2012 at 12:45am / United States (California) / Health
Today, I was just about to sit down to watch my favorite TV show when my dog jumped over the back of my couch, landed on my head and tried to jump through the window. I now have concussion and a window to replace, all because of a bird. FML
by Mr.P / 10/21/2011 at 11:35am / United States (Minnesota) / Animals
Today, still suffering from an eye infection, I received a customer complaint. Having red eyes, asking how a patron's day went, and thanking them as they left my register obviously means that I must be stoned out of my mind. Apparently I've moved to a city where you must be on drugs if you're nice. FML
by Customer Stonage Representative / 10/21/2011 at 8:10am / Canada (Ontario) / Work
by Anonymous / 10/21/2011 at 7:37am / United States (Texas) / Work
Today, I went to the store with my girlfriend. She needed to use the bathroom so I started looking at the books. It wasn't until the manager shot me a weird look that I realized I'd wandered down too far and was looking at bridal magazines, holding tampons, dog treats, and hair spray. FML
by Dv0829 / 10/21/2011 at 1:42am / United States (Utah) / Animals
by box bulge / 10/20/2011 at 9:24pm / China / Health
by dolceconfuoco / 10/20/2011 at 12:44pm / United States (North Carolina) / Work
by Habit / 10/19/2011 at 6:42pm / United Kingdom (Leeds) / Work
Today, my parents had a fight as to which one of them is the most cultured. As a result, they've begun writing my chore lists in a variety of languages. If I don't do them, I'm grounded. I only speak English. FML
by Missy / 10/19/2011 at 6:29pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
by sarah / 10/19/2011 at 3:36pm / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous
Today, my fiancé has been jumping out of closets and from around corners with a video camera, trying to catch me naked. He says he wants to post a video online so his old high school friends can "rate" me. I'm now afraid to get intimate, shower, or even change my clothes in my own home. FML
by Anonymous / 10/19/2011 at 2:19pm / United States (Minnesota) / Love
by optimistic2628 / 10/19/2011 at 10:03am / United States / Kids
by Anonymous / 10/16/2011 at 12:22am / United States (Texas) / Love
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, I was fired from my job because I, in my bosses words, "Abided by company policy to such an…