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OptimusVader

Offline (the 09/13/2014 at 4:25pm) | Search for a member

OptimusVader

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 18 January 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2854
  • Number of comments : 139
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About OptimusVader : I'm secretly a Jedi as well as a Pokemon Master. Some day I shall rule over the entire world, but I will be fair and just. :)

OptimusVader's page activity

Visits<b>suckmideck</b> - the 11/25/2014 at 10:33am<b>Ashd09</b> - the 10/27/2014 at 9:53pm<b>dustydick</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 2:25pm<b>Shiny_nickels</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 11:58pm<b>zenkuru</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 6:11pm<b>tampabayfan</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 10:12pm<b>wolfgold2</b> - the 08/11/2014 at 9:02pm<b>omgpp</b> - the 08/07/2014 at 8:12am<b>Miss_Brii</b> - the 08/02/2014 at 12:35pm<b>Rhett_15</b> - the 07/25/2014 at 11:25pm<b>battlehamster</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 3:33am<b>wopchop12</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 12:31pm<b>Adeptasaurus</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 11:42am<b>Lykaios_Avery</b> - the 07/05/2014 at 10:20pm<b>oxythemoron</b> - the 07/05/2014 at 7:34pm<b>Mexico_WC2018</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 3:18am<b>ceelos97</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 3:16am<b>ukeandfoodislife</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 1:15pm

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100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

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OptimusVader's favorite FMLs

Today, and for the fifth week in a row, my dad has been moping around and acting pissy about everything because his psycho girlfriend won't talk to him. He now claims his life is over. I'm being raised by a teenage girl. FML

Today, my two parrots decided that my head was the best place to have sex. FML

#20903328
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42334) - you deserved it (5392)

On 10/01/2013 at 1:32pm - animals - by NestHead (woman) - Russian Federation (Moscow City)

Today, my sex-crazed ex wrote me a letter so bad, it haunts me that I let a guy with such terrible grammar skills touch my boobs. FML

#20903082
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42233) - you deserved it (10435)

On 10/01/2013 at 6:47am - intimacy - by whatdoesitmatter (woman) - India (Tamil Nadu)

Today, I sent my boyfriend a text asking him to come over a little later and have some "fun" with me. He texted back, "WTF babe? Breaking Bad's on tonight. You got a dildo, fucking use it." FML

#20900698
293 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61324) - you deserved it (25738)

On 09/29/2013 at 3:46pm - intimacy - by -___- (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I saw two kids having a fistfight in the street. I ran over to stop them, and one ended up hitting me in the eye. I now have a black eye over what turned out to have been a fight over who was going to get the last slice of pizza. FML

#20900036
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36936) - you deserved it (8974)

On 09/29/2013 at 1:10am - kids - by ahuman - United States

Today, I found out this girl I had sex with lied to me. They weren't razor burn bumps. And I now have them. FML

#20898893
267 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56819) - you deserved it (36453)

On 09/28/2013 at 7:44am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, while sitting in a crowded waiting room at the doctor's office, my 5-year-old daughter pointed at my 6-year-old son's crotch and boomed, "MOM, WHY DOES ANDY HAVE A FINGER DOWN THERE?" to which he yelled, "IT'S CALLED A COCK!" FML

#20898150
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48788) - you deserved it (6380)

On 09/27/2013 at 4:00pm - kids - by SerenityJ (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I came home to find my parents wearing Santa hats and blasting Christmas music at full volume. So begins three months of hell. FML

#20898104
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38143) - you deserved it (3947)

On 09/27/2013 at 3:08pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Norway (Hordaland)

Today, I found out I was adopted when my drunk dad made a terrible Star Wars joke. FML

#20893338
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39012) - you deserved it (2470)

On 09/23/2013 at 6:49pm - misc - by theynamedmeluke (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I bumped into a really cute guy I know. I stuttered and floundered, before saying, "Hi, it's me, Megan Thomas." My surname isn't Thomas, but his is. FML

#20888741
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46463) - you deserved it (8263)

On 09/20/2013 at 7:23am - love - by hoolagirl4422 (woman) - Hong Kong

Today, the guy on the floor above me decided it was time for a tuba jam session. Apparently optimal tuba time is 2am. FML

#20881873
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38862) - you deserved it (2583)

On 09/15/2013 at 2:02am - misc - by sleeplessinrichmond - United States (New York)

Today, I was talking to my husband about our favorite TV show, when he took my face in his hands and sweetly whispered, "You're so pretty. Why must you ruin it with words?" FML

#20880791
102 comments

Today, the guy I love asked me if hooking up counted as dating, because he thinks I'm "super hot," but he doesn't want "all the relationship shit." FML

#20874228
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44169) - you deserved it (4786)

On 09/09/2013 at 8:46am - love - by Renagirl (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my entire gym class had to run the 1600 with our coach calling out finishing times. My finishing time was reported as "3 days short of a year." FML

#20867471
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39521) - you deserved it (6678)

On 09/04/2013 at 1:28pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (South Dakota)

Today, I took my laptop to I.T. to fix my internet. Only after I left did I realise my memory technique for remembering the stages of mitosis (Iraqi penis man anally transmits chlamydia) was left as a sticky note on my desktop. The guy definitely noticed. FML

#20867249
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32951) - you deserved it (10348)

On 09/04/2013 at 7:18am - misc - by interphaseprophasemetaphase (woman) - Australia (Victoria)



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