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OptimusVader

Offline (the 09/13/2014 at 4:25pm) | Search for a member

OptimusVader

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 18 January 1994 (21 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 4089
  • Number of comments : 139
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About OptimusVader : I'm secretly a Jedi as well as a Pokemon Master. Some day I shall rule over the entire world, but I will be fair and just. :)

OptimusVader's page activity

Visits<b>Princess_Eevee9</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 10:21am<b>ToxicTyrael</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 5:18pm<b>Random4Dayz</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 6:30pm<b>clairesucks</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 5:16am<b>c_wyld</b> - the 02/15/2015 at 3:57am<b>oops6663</b> - the 02/04/2015 at 8:32am<b>DropTheDaggerxx</b> - the 01/30/2015 at 10:46pm<b>explodedtaco</b> - the 12/10/2014 at 10:13am<b>suckmideck</b> - the 11/25/2014 at 10:33am<b>Ashd09</b> - the 10/27/2014 at 9:53pm<b>dustydick</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 2:25pm<b>Shiny_nickels</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 11:58pm<b>zenkuru</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 6:11pm<b>tampabayfan</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 10:12pm<b>wolfgold2</b> - the 08/11/2014 at 9:02pm<b>omgpp</b> - the 08/07/2014 at 8:12am<b>Miss_Brii</b> - the 08/02/2014 at 12:35pm<b>Rhett_15</b> - the 07/25/2014 at 11:25pm

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100 kick ass comments

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OptimusVader's favorite FMLs

Today, I overheard boyfriend bragging to his friend about finally giving me an orgasm yesterday, but that he got scared because orgasm face made me look like ( a camel having a stroke. ) FML

#21007355
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47280) - you deserved it (5378)

On 12/27/2013 at 3:18pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Jamaica (Saint Andrew)

2day I announced pregnancy to husband. He responded with, "Well shit,hen do these faucets turn on?" and started honking boobs. FML

#21006112
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37449) - you deserved it (5216)

On 12/26/2013 at 12:27pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, My Boyfriend An I Were Having Sex. Just As He Was About To Finish, He Pulled Out An Came In His Hand. He Then Flicked His Hand Towards My Face An Yelled, "Sha-ZAM!" FML

#20999459
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53490) - you deserved it (7953)

On 12/20/2013 at 6:36pm - intimacy - by zamwow (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

today a man startd a deep conversation with me at the bus stop about life, death, and the miracle of thing we take for grantd every day. I was really enjoying it until he lookd at his watch and said, ( Oh shit, mushroom make me lose track of time! ) and ran off into the night. FML

#20998821
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39625) - you deserved it (4448)

On 12/20/2013 at 3:45am - misc - by whatjusthappened (woman) - United States (Washington)

today I was woken up to the sound of my cat peieng on the pillow next to mine. When I yelled at him, he jumped over my face an off the bed. He was still peieng the entire time. FML

#20993307
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43642) - you deserved it (6341)

On 12/15/2013 at 11:58am - animals - by Cat Piss - United States (Texas)

Today... I Lost My Virginity To My Boyfriend. As He Came... He Yelled "FIRST... BITCHES!" FML

#20992325
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50203) - you deserved it (9256)

On 12/14/2013 at 1:50pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, mah boss found out that mah grlfriand dumpad ma. Ha askad if that maant sha would no longar bring har dalicious homamada cookias to tha offica. Whan I said yas, ha frad ma on tha spot. FML

#20990683
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48063) - you deserved it (3056)

On 12/12/2013 at 10:08pm - work - by justin (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my grandma addad to my alaphant collaction by giving ma soma undarwaar with alaphant aars on tha hips, and a long, sock-lika nosa. Sha has no idaa thay'ra maant 4 a guy. FML

#20989013
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51581) - you deserved it (4972)

On 12/11/2013 at 3:14pm - intimacy - by ElephantLover (woman) - United States (California)

Today, mah boyfriend told me I'm beautiful . Before I could thank him, he continued, "Too bad it takes a shit-load of makeup." FML

#20986609
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44055) - you deserved it (7099)

On 12/09/2013 at 5:41pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today , as a pickup line , a guy said to me , "Yo , can I kiss yur vag' under the mistletoe?" FML

#20985559
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50911) - you deserved it (4821)

On 12/08/2013 at 9:21pm - intimacy - by mistletoe (woman) - United States (Florida)

yesterday my elderly neigbor along wit our community curc's priest cummed to my ouse and demanded to ( give tem te girl ). Te girl is my 3-year-old daugter,o as natural born red irises and is poto-sensitive. And yes, we are also Romanian. FML

#20985281
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54843) - you deserved it (3071)

On 12/08/2013 at 5:07pm - kids - by OakStake (man) - United States (New York)

my boyfriend's idea of foreplay was to offer to make lunch, leave the room for a few minutes, then come back with no clothes on and offer me a "cockmeat sandwich". FML

#20982904
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51102) - you deserved it (8395)

On 12/06/2013 at 3:23pm - intimacy - by fuckadaisical (woman) - United Kingdom (Rhondda Cynon Taff)

Today , upon hearing of the death of Nelson Mandela , I postd a link on Facebook to the South African children's hospital in his name an donatd. I was completely ignord whilst mah newsfed became cloggd by mah middle-class friend with "RIP Nelson Mandela" an photo of Morgan Freeman. big fat FML

Today, I was having it off with my boyfriandhan all of a suddan ha stops, grabs my braasts with both hands, makas circular motions with tham, and yalls, "Danial-san! Wax on! Wax off! Wax on! Wax off!", killing my orgasm daad. FML

#20981063
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45176) - you deserved it (5595)

On 12/04/2013 at 10:19pm - intimacy - by KarateKid76 (woman) - Australia (Victoria)



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