About OptimusVader : I'm secretly a Jedi as well as a Pokemon Master. Some day I shall rule over the entire world, but I will be fair and just. :)
YDI master
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
50 quality responses
Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
Today, I have to defend my client in court. The defense that my client wants me to use is, "It's not a robbery if you have swag" and then goes on saying, "The judge is bound to let me go after he sees my swag." FML
I agree, your life sucks (32306) - you deserved it (2400)
On 05/22/2013 at 9:57pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my dad walked in on me lying down with my cat, eating ice cream, watching The Notebook with tears in my eyes. As if that's not bad enough, I'm a guy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41748) - you deserved it (16067)
On 05/12/2013 at 5:07pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I woke up to the sound of my newborn screaming. I frantically hopped out of bed and stumbled into the nursery where I was met by the priceless sight of my five-year-old daughter attempting to breastfeed her understandably frustrated little brother. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55677) - you deserved it (4768)
On 05/06/2013 at 2:29am - kids - by SkeetinKeaton (man) - United States
Today, I walked into the living room to find my 11-year-old daughter about to kiss her "not my boyfriend" on the lips. When I asked what she thought she was doing, she peeled a piece of scotch tape off her lips and said, "It's okay! We're using protection." FML
I agree, your life sucks (57797) - you deserved it (8168)
On 05/04/2013 at 8:51am - kids - by wtfmama (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I overheard my boyfriend admitting that he's only dating me because having me around "sucks a bit less than fucking my own hand". FML
I agree, your life sucks (44439) - you deserved it (4031)
On 05/03/2013 at 5:00pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Germany
Today, at work at a farm, we got a new calf. It looked like it had to poop, but was having difficulty. About four hours later it still hadn't pooped. Turns out it was born without an actual butthole. It was there, just sealed up by skin. I literally had to cut this poor calf a new butthole. FML
I agree, your life sucks (68921) - you deserved it (3077)
On 04/23/2013 at 10:01pm - animals - by halliemarie1818 - United States
Today, at the exact moment that I leaned over to show my dad a picture on my phone, my boyfriend texted me: "I'm no weather man, but you can expect a few inches tonight." FML
I agree, your life sucks (52999) - you deserved it (9756)
On 04/17/2013 at 1:39am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, my husband told me that he thinks I am getting a little heavy and may need to lay off the junk food. The ultrasound is hanging on our fridge. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48948) - you deserved it (4445)
On 04/15/2013 at 9:35pm - kids - by Mimi (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my sister went into a blind rage at me for "upstaging" her by announcing that I'm pregnant, two months after she did the same. My husband and I have been trying for two years. She's in high school and doesn't even know who the father is. FML
I agree, your life sucks (62262) - you deserved it (2564)
On 04/14/2013 at 4:39pm - misc - by bntje (woman) - Netherlands (Overijssel)
Today, I refused to go down on my boyfriend of 9 months. He then shoved me off the couch and, half crying, yelled that I was the third girl this week to turn him down. After sobbing for a bit, he looked me in the eyes and said, "I need you to do this so I can prove my manhood." FML
I agree, your life sucks (54597) - you deserved it (7608)
On 04/09/2013 at 7:05am - intimacy - by saywhat (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I had to get my grandparents out of jail, because they were caught having sex in a public place. They excused their actions by saying that you can only be young and stupid once, so if you continue doing stupid actions, you are still young. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37009) - you deserved it (2503)
On 04/08/2013 at 7:16pm - intimacy - by MrKento (man) - Honduras (Francisco Morazan)
Today, while walking to my car after work, I witnessed some moron who was texting while riding her bike running right into my parked car, resulting in a broken side mirror, a damaged windshield, two dents, and for her, a broken phone and nose. She's threatening to sue me for damages. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35398) - you deserved it (1516)
On 04/08/2013 at 6:04pm - misc - by Anon (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, my 16-year-old son convinced my 14-year-old daughter that she wasn't allowed to use the ladies bathroom at the shopping centre, because she wasn't wearing a dress like the girl on the sign. He told her girls in pants always used the other one. She believed him. This is my legacy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34988) - you deserved it (4505)
On 04/08/2013 at 12:26am - kids - by badparent (woman) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I was discussing possible career choices with my relatives. Pretty much everyone expressed the belief that I'm screwed for life, with my grandma commenting later: "She ain't even got the tits for porn. God help her." FML
I agree, your life sucks (37570) - you deserved it (2750)
On 04/06/2013 at 3:41pm - work - by flea-bitten (woman) - United States
Today, my 19-year-old son told me his girlfriend is pregnant, and was diagnosed with an STD. He's sure that he's the father. He's also sure he doesn't have an STD, because he's a virgin. I had to give him the sex talk that his school never did, as well as explain to him that his girlfriend is a cheater. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38176) - you deserved it (11654)
On 03/29/2013 at 1:18pm - misc - by fucked by sex ed (man) - United States (Michigan)
Monday 20 May 2013
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