Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

OnlyAvailableID

Online | Search for a member

OnlyAvailableID

1Liked!

OnlyAvailableIDOnlyAvailableID
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5990
  • Number of comments : 139
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About OnlyAvailableID : Eudaemonia.

OnlyAvailableID's page activity

Visits<b>I_Am_Lamp_</b> - the 01/11/2015 at 6:18am<b>shadowedpixie</b> - the 12/31/2014 at 3:31am<b>buckdharma</b> - the 12/27/2014 at 11:51am<b>Lalala579121</b> - the 12/26/2014 at 12:50pm<b>Zarniclopsindorf</b> - the 12/26/2014 at 12:43pm<b>LittleRed79</b> - the 12/21/2014 at 9:32pm<b>fantasyworld</b> - the 12/21/2014 at 9:10pm<b>captainsmegma</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 9:59pm<b>cnbcad</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 10:12am<b>salyhahaha</b> - the 12/13/2014 at 7:59am<b>thelastavailable</b> - the 12/13/2014 at 4:59am<b>your_ma</b> - the 12/12/2014 at 3:30am<b>i_love_him_</b> - the 12/11/2014 at 9:47pm<b>maximus_prime</b> - the 12/08/2014 at 3:08am<b>kerstileann</b> - the 11/29/2014 at 11:17pm<b>kelseysking</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 1:54pm<b>AHotCupOfCoffee</b> - the 11/04/2014 at 10:44pm<b>RaspberryFlower</b> - the 11/01/2014 at 6:14am

Liked!<b>salyhahaha</b> - the 12/13/2014 at 1:59pm

OnlyAvailableID's FML badges

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of OnlyAvailableID's badges

OnlyAvailableID's favorite FMLs

Today, everything that was beautiful and pure in my life turned into a terrible, warped version of what it once was. Today, I lost all hope, and no longer believe that life, although sometimes shitty, is sweet and worth living. Today, I met my mother-in-law. FML

#20949272
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52451) - you deserved it (5466)

On 11/07/2013 at 5:21pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Derry)

Today, I discovered that the guy I've been seeing is a firm supporter of the Westboro Baptist Church. FML

#20947273
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54568) - you deserved it (6912)

On 11/06/2013 at 12:06am - love - by maddie - United States (Texas)

Today, as my wife and I were getting intimate, I thought I would try a little "dirty talk". I whispered in her ear that I would "dick her down good". She couldn't stop laughing. FML

#20946325
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27607) - you deserved it (54538)

On 11/05/2013 at 10:26am - intimacy - by Something I said? (man) - United States (New York)

Today, while teaching juniors about black holes, I said, "Imagine everything being sucked into a black hole." An African-American student shouted, "I'd better start clenching!" Nobody took the lesson seriously after that. FML

#20946225
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44348) - you deserved it (5386)

On 11/05/2013 at 8:22am - work - by regretsteachinghighschool - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my mom found a new fad, and now styles herself as some kind of modern druid. Normally I'd just roll my eyes and deal with it, except she's forced the entire family to go vegetarian, threatening harsh punishments if we refuse to stop "poisoning" our bodies. FML

#20943896
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38040) - you deserved it (3068)

On 11/03/2013 at 1:56pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend left me for another girl. My dad's reaction to the news and my tears was to say, "Aww. Gonna write a song about it, Taylor Swift?" FML

#20942725
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53465) - you deserved it (7797)

On 11/02/2013 at 4:23pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland

Today, like every other day, my daughter thinks that degrading skinny people is very "non-conformist" and "edgy". This time, though, a slightly slim girl punched her in the face when she accused her of being anorexic. Now people think I gave my daughter her new black eye. FML

#20942627
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39587) - you deserved it (6271)

On 11/02/2013 at 2:46pm - kids - by curvster daughter (man) - United States

Today, my 8-year-old came home from school crying. Apparently her teacher told the whole class to write about how they felt when they learned that Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy weren't real. FML

#20942077
282 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52969) - you deserved it (5249)

On 11/02/2013 at 12:19am - kids - by SantaClaus - United States (California)

Today, I had to go to a big dinner with my insane relatives. Highlights of conversation included my sister telling us about the "country of Iowa", my dad accusing me of faking my chronic fatigue syndrome, and my grandpa claiming that Nelson Mandela is the Antichrist. FML

#20941414
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34576) - you deserved it (2817)

On 11/01/2013 at 2:38pm - misc - by FUCK ME, MAKE IT STOP (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, while working customer service, I instructed a customer to press the pound key on her cellphone. She hesitated a moment before asking, "Um, the pound key? You mean the hashtag, right?" FML

#20941322
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41961) - you deserved it (3892)

On 11/01/2013 at 12:49pm - work - by #isthisthepoundkey? - United States (Florida)

Today, I had to take my 15-year-old son to the hospital. He'd gone out dressed as some My Little Pony character and encountered someone who'd had the same idea. They then got into a fistfight, and my son got the shit beaten out of him. I wish I'd never bred. FML

#20940283
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42927) - you deserved it (8980)

On 10/31/2013 at 2:27pm - kids - by anna (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I overcame my stage fright and got up in front of a café audience with my acoustic guitar to sing a few of my songs. Some asshat kept yelling stuff like "NEEDS MORE COWBELL!" and "FREEBIRD!", which made me lose my nerve and flee. FML

#20937310
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38266) - you deserved it (4113)

On 10/28/2013 at 9:57pm - misc - by NickDrakeFan (man) - United States

Today, I got into a fight with my mother. Her idea of a birthday present to me is buying me a husband. Yes, buying. She told an asshat she found online about my trust fund, and now they're both trying to put together "the wedding of the millennium". She still doesn't understand why I'm mad. FML

Today, I decided to try LSD with a few friends in a safe environment. As an artist, I had planned to spend my trip doing psychedelic paintings and had all my supplies set up. Apparently I spent most of my time in fetal position muttering about the "evil easel" and never even touched my canvas. FML

#20930479
334 comments

Today, as a science teacher, I did a science experiment in front of a class. One of my students asked me if it was "photoshopped." He was being serious. FML

#20930096
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42306) - you deserved it (2827)

On 10/22/2013 at 10:24am - kids - by jdawn99 - United States (Kansas)



Ronald Grandpey's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Ronald Grandpey's illustrated FML
  • Hello everyone, how's it going? You doing OK? Friday is the right time to get your glad rags on, go out, meet your friends, have a drink, get your freak on, shoot the breeze, shoot some hoops, don't shoot…

Friday 30 January 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: