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OnlyAvailableID

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 4479
  • Number of comments : 136
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About OnlyAvailableID : Eudaemonia.

OnlyAvailableID's page activity

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OnlyAvailableID's favorite FMLs

Today, I was mentioning to a coworker how there was a huge lull today in business. A young coworker then turns to me and says in a snooty tone, "I think you mean a 'lol', it's pronounced L-O-L." FML

#20953649
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42607) - you deserved it (2812)

On 11/11/2013 at 5:36am - work - by shut up. - New Zealand

Today, my girlfriend "got even" with me after an argument by telling people that I've been beating her. Three guys later came over to my place and beat the crap out of me. Her reaction: "I didn't think they'd take it so serious!" FML

Today, I was escorted out of a grocery store for beating my boyfriend with a block of cheese. FML

Today, everything that was beautiful and pure in my life turned into a terrible, warped version of what it once was. Today, I lost all hope, and no longer believe that life, although sometimes shitty, is sweet and worth living. Today, I met my mother-in-law. FML

#20949272
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51151) - you deserved it (5311)

On 11/07/2013 at 5:21pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Derry)

Today, I discovered that the guy I've been seeing is a firm supporter of the Westboro Baptist Church. FML

#20947273
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54466) - you deserved it (6899)

On 11/06/2013 at 12:06am - love - by maddie - United States (Texas)

Today, as my wife and I were getting intimate, I thought I would try a little "dirty talk". I whispered in her ear that I would "dick her down good". She couldn't stop laughing. FML

#20946325
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26498) - you deserved it (52944)

On 11/05/2013 at 10:26am - intimacy - by Something I said? (man) - United States (New York)

Today, while teaching juniors about black holes, I said, "Imagine everything being sucked into a black hole." An African-American student shouted, "I'd better start clenching!" Nobody took the lesson seriously after that. FML

#20946225
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43300) - you deserved it (5255)

On 11/05/2013 at 8:22am - work - by regretsteachinghighschool - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my mom found a new fad, and now styles herself as some kind of modern druid. Normally I'd just roll my eyes and deal with it, except she's forced the entire family to go vegetarian, threatening harsh punishments if we refuse to stop "poisoning" our bodies. FML

#20943896
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37041) - you deserved it (2971)

On 11/03/2013 at 1:56pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend left me for another girl. My dad's reaction to the news and my tears was to say, "Aww. Gonna write a song about it, Taylor Swift?" FML

#20942725
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52537) - you deserved it (7655)

On 11/02/2013 at 4:23pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland

Today, like every other day, my daughter thinks that degrading skinny people is very "non-conformist" and "edgy". This time, though, a slightly slim girl punched her in the face when she accused her of being anorexic. Now people think I gave my daughter her new black eye. FML

#20942627
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39503) - you deserved it (6260)

On 11/02/2013 at 2:46pm - kids - by curvster daughter (man) - United States

Today, my 8-year-old came home from school crying. Apparently her teacher told the whole class to write about how they felt when they learned that Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy weren't real. FML

#20942077
279 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52836) - you deserved it (5241)

On 11/02/2013 at 12:19am - kids - by SantaClaus - United States (California)

Today, I had to go to a big dinner with my insane relatives. Highlights of conversation included my sister telling us about the "country of Iowa", my dad accusing me of faking my chronic fatigue syndrome, and my grandpa claiming that Nelson Mandela is the Antichrist. FML

#20941414
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34492) - you deserved it (2812)

On 11/01/2013 at 2:38pm - misc - by FUCK ME, MAKE IT STOP (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, while working customer service, I instructed a customer to press the pound key on her cellphone. She hesitated a moment before asking, "Um, the pound key? You mean the hashtag, right?" FML

#20941322
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41860) - you deserved it (3884)

On 11/01/2013 at 12:49pm - work - by #isthisthepoundkey? - United States (Florida)

Today, I had to take my 15-year-old son to the hospital. He'd gone out dressed as some My Little Pony character and encountered someone who'd had the same idea. They then got into a fistfight, and my son got the shit beaten out of him. I wish I'd never bred. FML

#20940283
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41803) - you deserved it (8779)

On 10/31/2013 at 2:27pm - kids - by anna (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I overcame my stage fright and got up in front of a café audience with my acoustic guitar to sing a few of my songs. Some asshat kept yelling stuff like "NEEDS MORE COWBELL!" and "FREEBIRD!", which made me lose my nerve and flee. FML

#20937310
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38203) - you deserved it (4105)

On 10/28/2013 at 9:57pm - misc - by NickDrakeFan (man) - United States



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

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