Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

OnlyAvailableID

Online | Search for a member

OnlyAvailableID

5Liked!

OnlyAvailableIDOnlyAvailableID
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 7274
  • Number of comments : 143
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 4 posted

About OnlyAvailableID : Eudaemonia.

OnlyAvailableID's page activity

Visits<b>soccercrewluv10</b> - the 03/27/2015 at 11:42am<b>Steve95401</b> - the 03/11/2015 at 1:14am<b>SampleSext</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 11:25pm<b>bananassin</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 4:30pm<b>Stripes12345</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 10:29am<b>TheCutestLizard</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 9:15am<b>Mitchellbassists</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 8:46am<b>emxy92</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 8:07am<b>buckdharma</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 5:54pm<b>countryb_cth</b> - the 02/13/2015 at 3:31am<b>tehaustiebear</b> - the 02/10/2015 at 12:27pm<b>davidpropert</b> - the 02/10/2015 at 8:18am<b>LilsBills300</b> - the 02/09/2015 at 8:59pm<b>dapoog124</b> - the 02/09/2015 at 9:21am<b>Apretendbiscuit</b> - the 02/09/2015 at 3:14am<b>sisco2901</b> - the 02/09/2015 at 2:31am<b>Randen_FML95</b> - the 02/09/2015 at 1:14am<b>zachburdick99</b> - the 02/08/2015 at 11:37pm

Liked!<b>Steve95401</b> - the 03/11/2015 at 5:12am<b>buckdharma</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 11:55pm<b>countryb_cth</b> - the 02/13/2015 at 9:31am<b>Callyn</b> - the 02/01/2015 at 4:09am<b>salyhahaha</b> - the 12/13/2014 at 1:59pm

OnlyAvailableID's FML badges

Follow up

You subsequently gave feedback by commenting on an FML that you’d submitted and was published.

One ring to rule them all

You submitted an FML that was successfully published on the website. This makes you an exceptional human being.

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

See all of OnlyAvailableID's badges

OnlyAvailableID's favorite FMLs

Today, I would like to thank the program designer that put "Set as home page" directly under "Remove from history". FML

#20991949
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38000) - you deserved it (10112)

On 12/14/2013 at 1:38am - misc - by The_Rest_of_the_Story (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boss found out that my girlfriend dumped me. He asked if that meant she would no longer bring her delicious homemade cookies to the office. When I said yes, he fired me on the spot. FML

#20990683
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48067) - you deserved it (3056)

On 12/12/2013 at 10:08pm - work - by justin (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, while on my way to work, an elderly woman complimented me on my breast cancer scarf. I explained that my grandmother made one for all her female grandchildren before passing away two years ago. The woman then went psycho and almost strangled me in an attempt to steal it. FML

Today, a classmate's mother called my phone, threatening to have my dorm room raided for drugs. Why? She saw our text messages discussing where he would pick up the textbook I borrowed and thought it was the new "code name" for weed. FML

#20988723
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39806) - you deserved it (2578)

On 12/11/2013 at 6:58am - misc - by a.white - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, is my little sister's 16th birthday. I spent my last $20 on a gift for her, cleaned the house for her party, made an ice cream cake, and got her a rose. What did I get? "I hope you kept the receipt for this. Oh, and stay in your room during my party." FML

#20988657
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52555) - you deserved it (3529)

On 12/11/2013 at 3:25am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my band members and I were brainstorming ideas to help increase our fan base. My drummer suggested they replace me for someone attractive. Everyone agreed and now they are trying to kick me out of the band I started. FML

#20986659
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46579) - you deserved it (3481)

On 12/09/2013 at 6:25pm - misc - by YouAssholes - United States (California)

Today, I woke up in my hospital bed after having knee surgery, on the wrong knee. FML

#20986378
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68113) - you deserved it (3711)

On 12/09/2013 at 2:17pm - health - by knee pain - United States

Today, my elderly neighbor along with our community church's priest came to my house and demanded to "give them the girl". The girl is my 3-year-old daughter, who has natural born red irises and is photo-sensitive. And yes, we are also Romanian. FML

#20985281
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54843) - you deserved it (3071)

On 12/08/2013 at 5:07pm - kids - by OakStake (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my friend's dog got hit by a car. I was the only one not in shock, and had to drag the poor thing off the road, then comfort a hysterical friend while the driver verbally abused us and demanded we pay for the repairs to his car. FML

Today, my wicked mother has been with us for a week. She's already thrown away my daughter's favorite toy, broke my computer, scratched my oak table, stained my most expensive shirt, peed in our bed, and called the attention of the cops by staring at kids in school. She's staying for three months. FML

Today, I was gushing about my love for Disney princesses when someone told me I "definitely needed to calm down." By whom? A four-year-old girl. FML

Today, while delivering pizzas, someone ordered $19.41 in pizza and wings. After finally finding her appartment, she paid me in two sandwich bags full of pennies and nickels. I had to count them out before giving her the pizza. We aren't allowed to enter the residence, and it was 22 degrees. FML

#20976643
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47477) - you deserved it (2918)

On 12/01/2013 at 2:42am - work - by JudasThePriest (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was proud when I started a confrontation with my best friend's brother because he is a sexist pig who treats women like crap. Six hours later my pride was gone: I made him an after-sex sandwich. FML

#20975509
100 comments

Today, my family and I finished moving to Texas. As if that isn't bad enough, I'll have to introduce myself all over again to everyone I meet and explain that yes, my parents really did name me Lilypad. FML

#20973574
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47747) - you deserved it (3953)

On 11/28/2013 at 11:53am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had a nightmare in which I was haunted by the ghost of my foreskin. I then spent the whole day moping around, wondering what my life would've been like if my parents hadn't opted to slice it off. Will I see you in heaven, long-lost ghostly foreskin? FML

#20972170
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31170) - you deserved it (14771)

On 11/27/2013 at 3:44am - health - by MissYouPieceOfSkin (man) - United States (Washington)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • OK jkjk it was FMLS April Fools
  •   Yah its know over, ive stoppd wrotting… Sorry, I'll try again. There, it's over, I can stop typing TXT language with my forehead. Yes, you probably cottened on that it was our little…

Monday 30 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: