About OnlyAvailableID : Seeing as you're here, I made a no-no didn't I? It was probably a terrible pun, I always do them. I'm just so unoriginal, unfunny and absolutely twattish.
Ilyz n' shit.
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An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
Today, I got kicked in the crotch. It popped my cherry. I lost my virginity to a shoe. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47973) - you deserved it (4816)
On 09/19/2011 at 10:39am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, my school voted for a Pokémon theme for this year's homecoming. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28130) - you deserved it (11958)
On 09/18/2011 at 5:16pm - misc - by ohgodwhy - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, my five year old ran down the street wearing nothing but flip flops, Star Wars underwear, and a baseball helmet. He was swinging a badminton racket while screaming "THIS IS SPARTA!" My neighbors watched laughing as I had to run after him down the street in my pajamas. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23424) - you deserved it (6436)
On 09/17/2011 at 9:20pm - kids - by awesomekidsmum - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I had leg surgery. While I was recovering in the hospital, my boyfriend dumped me. I then had to ride home, a 2 hour drive, listening to my mother and aunt tell me he was the best thing to happen to me and I will never find a better man. Then the morphine wore off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33482) - you deserved it (1640)
On 09/17/2011 at 3:44am - love - by anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, after a conference with my teacher who had previously accused me of not doing my homework, she finally discovered she'd been losing it all this time. I've been getting straight Fs for a month. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23653) - you deserved it (1393)
On 09/06/2011 at 2:53pm - misc - by purpleivy (woman) - United States
Today, thanks to my wife's confession, I found out that the 14 year old child I've raised since I was 16 isn't related to me at all. But at least this narrows the real father down to one of three other guys. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33478) - you deserved it (2743)
On 08/26/2011 at 10:10pm - kids - by candie - United States (Texas)
Today, I had to take my dog to the vet for him to be put to sleep. I could feel the cold, hard shaft of irony slide its way up my ass and slowly fuck me senseless with every step I took on this beautiful National Dog Day. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25403) - you deserved it (4085)
On 08/26/2011 at 1:49pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my boyfriend wrote me a break-up letter, using Comic Sans. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26058) - you deserved it (2900)
On 08/25/2011 at 10:33am - love - by hendrix1 - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend wrote me a break-up letter, using Comic Sans. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26058) - you deserved it (2900)
On 08/25/2011 at 10:33am - love - by hendrix1 - United States (California)
Today, I had a completely normal work day. Other than the fact that my boss dressed up like the lead singer from KISS and hit us with a foam sword at random. My boss is 49. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21988) - you deserved it (4567)
On 07/19/2011 at 11:19am - work - by Bill Harrison - United States
Today, I couldn't shut a drawer in my kitchen, because an oven mitt was blocking it. An oven mitt filled with tin-foil wrapped electronics. My Mom believes Internet hackers can get into her digital camera and prepaid cell phone, and apparently tin-foil will prevent that. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18603) - you deserved it (1620)
On 07/14/2011 at 12:50am - misc - by BelleCharmante (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, my husband finally got round to cutting down a tree limb in our front yard after months of me begging him. It fell on me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17818) - you deserved it (10229)
On 07/10/2011 at 7:51pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I was propositioned by an incredibly pretty girl. I'm a 24 year old virgin; she's my best mate's girlfriend. She tells him everything when drunk, and he's a black-belt in karate. This could officially be classified as torture. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27491) - you deserved it (4009)
On 07/07/2011 at 10:40am - love - by Junktown (man) - Israel (Tel Aviv)
Today, in science, we were studying reproduction. Our teacher was reading out the notes and claimed that 'the female's penis stiffens to enter the male's vagina.' I'm supposed to be learning stuff from this woman. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34457) - you deserved it (2750)
On 06/28/2011 at 2:39am - intimacy - by girlshavepenises (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)
Monday 17 June 2013
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