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OnlyAvailableID

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4468
  • Number of comments : 136
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About OnlyAvailableID : Eudaemonia.

OnlyAvailableID's page activity

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You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

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OnlyAvailableID's favorite FMLs

Today, my elderly neighbor along with our community church's priest came to my house and demanded to "give them the girl". The girl is my 3-year-old daughter, who has natural born red irises and is photo-sensitive. And yes, we are also Romanian. FML

#20985281
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53059) - you deserved it (2930)

On 12/08/2013 at 5:07pm - kids - by OakStake (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my friend's dog got hit by a car. I was the only one not in shock, and had to drag the poor thing off the road, then comfort a hysterical friend while the driver verbally abused us and demanded we pay for the repairs to his car. FML

Today, my wicked mother has been with us for a week. She's already thrown away my daughter's favorite toy, broke my computer, scratched my oak table, stained my most expensive shirt, peed in our bed, and called the attention of the cops by staring at kids in school. She's staying for three months. FML

Today, I was gushing about my love for Disney princesses when someone told me I "definitely needed to calm down." By whom? A four-year-old girl. FML

Today, while delivering pizzas, someone ordered $19.41 in pizza and wings. After finally finding her appartment, she paid me in two sandwich bags full of pennies and nickels. I had to count them out before giving her the pizza. We aren't allowed to enter the residence, and it was 22 degrees. FML

#20976643
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46237) - you deserved it (2806)

On 12/01/2013 at 2:42am - work - by JudasThePriest (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was proud when I started a confrontation with my best friend's brother because he is a sexist pig who treats women like crap. Six hours later my pride was gone: I made him an after-sex sandwich. FML

#20975509
100 comments

Today, my family and I finished moving to Texas. As if that isn't bad enough, I'll have to introduce myself all over again to everyone I meet and explain that yes, my parents really did name me Lilypad. FML

#20973574
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45993) - you deserved it (3801)

On 11/28/2013 at 11:53am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had a nightmare in which I was haunted by the ghost of my foreskin. I then spent the whole day moping around, wondering what my life would've been like if my parents hadn't opted to slice it off. Will I see you in heaven, long-lost ghostly foreskin? FML

#20972170
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31029) - you deserved it (14721)

On 11/27/2013 at 3:44am - health - by MissYouPieceOfSkin (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my father took revenge on me for bankrupting him in a game of Monopoly. His revenge consisted of having a truckload of sand dumped in my driveway while I was at work. FML

#20966996
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38163) - you deserved it (3203)

On 11/22/2013 at 3:51pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I learned that no matter how much of a nerd a girl claims to be, she is not ready for you to speak Klingon during sex. FML

#20963971
249 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25760) - you deserved it (63711)

On 11/19/2013 at 10:42pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was offered a job that pays far more than I expected, being a high school senior. My parents decided they aren't letting me take the job, saying I should enjoy my childhood. They're also not paying for my college, which is why I was looking for work in the first place. FML

#20960082
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47696) - you deserved it (2654)

On 11/16/2013 at 6:39pm - work - by Remy (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my debate partner repeatedly said "You mad, bro?" to the opposing team in our college debate class. That debate was worth a considerable portion of our grade. FML

#20959913
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40548) - you deserved it (2888)

On 11/16/2013 at 3:18pm - misc - by gonnafail (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found out my best friend made a program to reply to my text messages with random sentences from a list. It took 15 minutes of texting before I finally noticed. FML

#20959084
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37357) - you deserved it (5744)

On 11/15/2013 at 8:15pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - India (Gujarat)

Today, I got a concussion. It was when an entire shelf of bicycle helmets tumbled onto my skull. FML

#20954433
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37244) - you deserved it (2733)

On 11/11/2013 at 9:14pm - health - by myheadhurts (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I learned I was conceived to the sounds of a Spice Girls album. FML

#20954288
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34631) - you deserved it (3802)

On 11/11/2013 at 6:58pm - misc - by queenxalee (woman) - United States (California)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

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  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

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