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OnlyAvailableID's favorite FMLs
by BagelTheOtaku / 08/20/2014 at 1:15am / United States (Georgia) / Health
Today, my boss threw out the report I wrote for the board of directors. He said that if it were legal, he'd smash me in the balls with a brick for using Comic Sans. I had to do the whole thing again in another font with my coworkers snickering at me. FML
by Anonymous / 08/15/2014 at 5:35pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work
by Anonymous / 08/04/2014 at 10:00pm / United States (Texas) / Love
Today, at work, an old man was having trouble using his credit card at the checkout. I told him to "just stick it in", and he replied with "I love it when you talk dirty to me." The whole line at the checkout laughed. FML
by Anonymous / 08/03/2014 at 1:16am / Australia (Western Australia) / Work
Today, my fiancé said "Rachel" instead of my name when asked to repeat, "I take thee, Emily, to be my lawfully wedded wife." I was shocked, so he explained while laughing that he doesn't even know a Rachel. He ruined our wedding for a Friends quote. FML
by Emliy / 08/01/2014 at 1:06am / United States (Illinois) / Love
Today, I got expelled from school. I was walking down a flight of stairs when I tripped and bumped into a kid ahead of me by mistake. He fell forward and took half a dozen people down with him. The staff think I did it on purpose, and there's talk of charges being pressed. FML
by asshalf15 / 07/25/2014 at 4:19pm / United States (California) / Work
by I don't condome that, babe / 07/24/2014 at 4:51pm / United States (Florida) / Love
by TCRII / 07/23/2014 at 7:52pm / United States (Virginia) / Kids
by Anonymous / 07/23/2014 at 7:16pm / United States (Oregon) / Work
by Anonymous / 07/23/2014 at 4:00pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
by Inthedumps / 07/22/2014 at 8:51pm / United States (Illinois) / Work
Today, I went to my weekly AA meeting. It was a huge crowd and I was the guest speaker. Not 5 minutes into my speech, I was booed off stage and banned from further attendance because I accidentally wore a Jack Daniel's shirt. FML
by dypshyyt / 07/22/2014 at 7:20pm / United States (Florida) / Health
by Anonymous / 07/05/2014 at 1:53pm / United States / Work
by zl5 / 07/04/2014 at 7:17pm / New Zealand (Wellington) / Work
by dillon / 07/01/2014 at 12:12am / United States (Arkansas) / Geek
- Today, I’m in Sweden. This morning, I went out to get the mail in my pajamas. Well, it doesn’t only… Today, at 11:30 p.m., after a 5-hour train journey to get back to Paris carrying a suitcase that’s… Today, on the road in China, I committed a small offense. A cop saw me, stopped me and told me that…