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OnlyAvailableID

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 5413
  • Number of comments : 137
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About OnlyAvailableID : Eudaemonia.

OnlyAvailableID's page activity

Visits<b>captainsmegma</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 9:59pm<b>cnbcad</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 10:12am<b>salyhahaha</b> - the 12/13/2014 at 7:59am<b>thelastavailable</b> - the 12/13/2014 at 4:59am<b>your_ma</b> - the 12/12/2014 at 3:30am<b>i_love_him_</b> - the 12/11/2014 at 9:47pm<b>maximus_prime</b> - the 12/08/2014 at 3:08am<b>kerstileann</b> - the 11/29/2014 at 11:17pm<b>kelseysking</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 1:54pm<b>AHotCupOfCoffee</b> - the 11/04/2014 at 10:44pm<b>RaspberryFlower</b> - the 11/01/2014 at 6:14am<b>thebosslikeaboss</b> - the 10/28/2014 at 1:40pm<b>Portuguese94</b> - the 10/27/2014 at 8:14pm<b>mval10</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 11:26am<b>Wizardo</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 7:00am<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 10/11/2014 at 4:56pm<b>gantoman</b> - the 10/11/2014 at 1:45pm<b>Journiexo</b> - the 10/11/2014 at 12:41pm

Liked!<b>salyhahaha</b> - the 12/13/2014 at 1:59pm

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OnlyAvailableID's favorite FMLs

Today, my daughter admitted why her grades, which are usually straight A's, have been slipping the past few weeks. Turns out she has been deliberately failing tests to avoid becoming valedictorian, so she won't have to deliver a speech at graduation. FML

#21148414
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49122) - you deserved it (6068)

On 05/22/2014 at 3:24pm - kids - by stillaproudfather (man) - United States

Today, I collected my students' final essays. One of them submitted a printout of a screenshot he took with his phone. Too bad a browser address bar was still in the shot, along with a "click to read more" link at the bottom. My students are too dumb and lazy to even plagiarize properly. FML

#21148317
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42878) - you deserved it (4443)

On 05/22/2014 at 12:47pm - work - by What am I doing with my life? - United States (Colorado)

Today, I had a wonderful dream where I got married to the perfect guy, then had the best sex of my life on a beautiful honeymoon. The only problem is that my "husband" was the snowman from Frozen, and that I got sad when I realized it was just a dream. FML

#21142020
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42594) - you deserved it (9086)

On 05/16/2014 at 5:07pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I received yet another rejection letter from a college I'd applied to. After crying for a week about how lousy I felt, my older sister gave me all 6 of the acceptance letters she'd been hiding. Turns out she's been forging rejection letters and keeping the real ones in her room. FML

#21140332
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66974) - you deserved it (4950)

On 05/15/2014 at 1:40am - misc - by livingamongtheflowers - United States

Today, I met this overweight chick and ended up sleeping with her. We were doing it doggy style and it was great until she said, "Milk me like a cow." I can no longer drink milk without hearing that in my head. FML

#21132249
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52103) - you deserved it (19050)

On 05/06/2014 at 9:55am - intimacy - by chumman (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my wrists were hurting really bad while working the production line. I was told to let my supervisor know so he can help accommodate it. Both supervisors responded by ending my employment there to make sure I don't suffer long term damage. FML

Today, I had to once again lie to a customer about why I was the only one manning the shop, saying that they must have run out for lunch - my coworkers were too busy getting stoned in their cars to do their job. FML

Today, I found out that even though my girlfriend of 3 years believes sex before marriage or even me just jacking off is a big no, doing online strip-shows for money is a big yes for her. Both times that I've proposed, she claimed she isn't "ready" for marriage. FML

#21118108
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44923) - you deserved it (8813)

On 04/20/2014 at 1:58pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Wigan)

Today, my overly-attached 14-year-old cat wanted attention while I was in a heated Skype argument with my girlfriend. Worked up from the fight, I raised my voice and said, "Not now, go away!" He ran to his little bed, had a heart attack and died. I was a complete dick to my cat in his last moments. FML

#21108570
358 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65281) - you deserved it (32677)

On 04/09/2014 at 2:40pm - animals - by Brody89 (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was given a call home, a 3-day-suspension, and a week of detention in school for a "serious violation of the code of conduct." Said violation? Jogging in the middle of the hall. FML

#21107042
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38080) - you deserved it (4216)

On 04/07/2014 at 7:24pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I wanted to try seducing my boyfriend by having nothing but a t-shirt on for when he'd get back from work. He came home, saw me, apologized bashfully for failing to knock first, and went back outside. FML

#21097985
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43550) - you deserved it (6511)

On 03/27/2014 at 7:10pm - love - by oops (woman) - United States (California)

Today, a coworker filed a complaint against me, all because I ate a banana at lunch, which he claimed is "threateningly sexual", whatever the hell that means. FML

#21090158
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41880) - you deserved it (3704)

On 03/18/2014 at 5:31pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, while I thought I'd never had an orgasm, my doctor informed me that I'm actually having orgasms almost every time I have sex. They just feel like utterly frustrating, slightly painful, unpleasurable and completely unsatisfying muscle contractions. FML

Today, I waited on a gentleman and his lady friend at my restaurant. They ordered some of the most expensive items on the menu, and I thought I'd get a nice tip. Instead, he tipped me a scrap of paper, containing a drawing of a cock jizzing on a caricature of my face, and the word "Thanks." FML

#21088206
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42237) - you deserved it (3760)

On 03/16/2014 at 2:53pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I found out that my 15-year-old son is a prolific creator of My Little Pony themed hentai. I'm not a judgmental man, but he's probably going to hell. FML

#21082455
399 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41213) - you deserved it (7765)

On 03/09/2014 at 6:32pm - kids - by ashamed father (man) - Canada (Ontario)



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