About OnlyAvailableID : Seeing as you're here, I made a no-no didn't I? It was probably a terrible pun, I always do them. I'm just so unoriginal, unfunny and absolutely twattish.
Ilyz n' shit.
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Today, I got into a car wreck that was clearly the other driver's fault. When the police showed up, it turned out that they were old High School friends. The cop let her go without a citation. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19015) - you deserved it (847)
On 08/22/2012 at 1:38am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, after sex, my boyfriend and I lay in bed for a couple of hours just chatting. This would have been lovely. However, his topic of choice for post-coital pillow talk was his theory about how Chewbacca is secretly the leader of the Rebel Alliance. It actually made sense. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15317) - you deserved it (4813)
On 08/14/2012 at 8:17am - intimacy - by cl4ptp (woman) - United Kingdom (Vale of Glamorgan, The)
Today, at work in a nursing home, I had to kill imaginary dogs in the lunch room, because they were evil and trying to eat everyone. This started with just one person seeing them, to all 30 of them screaming and freaking out. I spent 45 minutes killing imaginary dogs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20478) - you deserved it (1384)
On 07/25/2012 at 5:05pm - work - by justlittleoldme - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, my girlfriend got a tattoo of a Rainbow Dash over her pubic mound. Now whenever I go down on her, I'll be eye-to-eye with an adorable pony that shits rainbows. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22929) - you deserved it (3474)
On 07/02/2012 at 3:53pm - intimacy - by nobrony (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I was so out of it from a lack of sleep and an accidental antihistamine overdose, I tried to offer my cat a cup of tea, and actually got pissed off when he didn't reply. It took me a good five minutes to understand what just happened. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16495) - you deserved it (4285)
On 06/20/2012 at 10:09am - animals - by anonymous - United Kingdom
Today, I took my girlfriend to a family dinner so she could meet my parents. Over the dinner, she asked my dad what's he's been up to since he retired. He replied, "recreational gynecology, my dear" and gave her a weird wink. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23482) - you deserved it (1759)
On 06/01/2012 at 4:46pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Greece (Attiki)
Today, I had to collect my daughter from the hospital. Her boyfriend was even more upset than she was, because his iPhone's screen was damaged beyond repair when the doctor pulled it out of my daughter's vagina. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37011) - you deserved it (3014)
On 05/16/2012 at 12:10pm - intimacy - by smart move there (woman) - Ireland (Kildare)
Today, I went to my Christian accountability partner from church to talk about continuing to maintain Christian values. We had sex. Oh, the irony. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5859) - you deserved it (24686)
On 04/05/2012 at 12:17am - intimacy - by Badchristian (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I realized that the "holla" tattoo I stupidly got on my lower lip five years ago isn't fading as I expected it to, and will probably contribute to my unemployment for years to come. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4008) - you deserved it (47145)
On 03/30/2012 at 3:13pm - work - by bananamuffin - United States
Today, I was babysitting this 12 year old. We were watching a movie, and he was being an angel just laying with his head in my lap. He fell asleep so I closed my eyes and had a little nap. When I woke up he had taken my shirt off and was feeling up my boobs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30286) - you deserved it (8666)
On 03/25/2012 at 8:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I called the toaster a "cheeky thing" for being done before the kettle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6350) - you deserved it (11875)
On 02/22/2012 at 2:56am - misc - by jenni6488 - United Kingdom (Gateshead)
Today, it was my first day being a full-time paramedic. I was shot in the arm. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31212) - you deserved it (1940)
On 01/19/2012 at 12:44am - work - by bad luck? - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, after a hard day on the wards as a trainee doctor, I went home and started getting frisky with my girlfriend. All I could think about was the anatomical names for what I was touching and doing. I felt physically sick. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21598) - you deserved it (2774)
On 01/13/2012 at 5:47am - intimacy - by doctorsandnurses (man) - United Kingdom (Nottingham)
Today, my toaster scared me. Again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10654) - you deserved it (16423)
On 01/12/2012 at 11:33am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Armagh)
Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend why having sex with him was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty Pringles can. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10284) - you deserved it (22459)
On 01/11/2012 at 12:42am - intimacy - by bunnyluver4545 - United States (Texas)
Friday 24 May 2013
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