Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

OnlyAvailableID

Online | Search for a member

OnlyAvailableID

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4096
  • Number of comments : 133
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About OnlyAvailableID : Eudaemonia.

OnlyAvailableID's page activity

Visits<b>catchmenow1</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 2:39am<b>Brandi_Faith</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 7:53am<b>Aero_x</b> - the 09/10/2014 at 10:20pm<b>Demonface54</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 1:26pm<b>justbarb</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 10:04pm<b>adrianvons</b> - the 08/12/2014 at 7:25am<b>wassuploves</b> - the 08/05/2014 at 11:52pm<b>NeverComments</b> - the 08/05/2014 at 11:04pm<b>Miss_Brii</b> - the 08/04/2014 at 11:43pm<b>pwnapple99</b> - the 08/01/2014 at 12:31am<b>DewIchigo</b> - the 07/29/2014 at 4:32am<b>shadowedpixie</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 5:19am<b>NicoleErin</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 12:44pm<b>ShinyMeatBicycle</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 6:06pm<b>KellyMarie89</b> - the 07/01/2014 at 3:59am<b>SkittlesGoRawr</b> - the 06/27/2014 at 12:28am<b>RaspberryFlower</b> - the 06/20/2014 at 3:35am<b>umerin</b> - the 06/18/2014 at 9:23pm

OnlyAvailableID's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of OnlyAvailableID's badges

OnlyAvailableID's favorite FMLs

Today, I went on Facebook. The third post down was a selfie of my mom looking sad, with the caption, "God I need a good dicking." FML

#21218442
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50060) - you deserved it (11745)

On 07/23/2014 at 4:00pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boss is still refusing to hire any more people because he's convinced I can handle all of the work after the majority of staff quit. FML

#21217678
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39948) - you deserved it (3039)

On 07/22/2014 at 8:51pm - work - by Inthedumps (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went to my weekly AA meeting. It was a huge crowd and I was the guest speaker. Not 5 minutes into my speech, I was booed off stage and banned from further attendance because I accidentally wore a Jack Daniel's shirt. FML

#21217633
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21223) - you deserved it (49804)

On 07/22/2014 at 7:20pm - health - by dypshyyt - United States (Florida)

Today, my dad interrupted my job interview with a phone call, just to say "I fucked your mom." No shit, dad. FML

#21199559
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44430) - you deserved it (7076)

On 07/05/2014 at 1:53pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, the deranged idiot that I am defending in court went completely nuts and told the judge that I am the guy who planned the whole armed robbery that he is on trial for. FML

#21198798
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48210) - you deserved it (4343)

On 07/04/2014 at 7:17pm - work - by zl5 (man) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, I watched a Youtube video about artists who ripped off other artist's songs. All of the bands that were accused of stealing were all bands that I really enjoy. FML

#21194507
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34681) - you deserved it (9767)

On 07/01/2014 at 12:12am - misc - by dillon (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I only just found out that the abbreviation "lbs" is actually short for pounds. I've been saying "labs" my entire life. I'm 21. FML

#21179613
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24878) - you deserved it (50385)

On 06/18/2014 at 5:06pm - misc - by shtidsfpa (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I let my dog outside to play. He shat on three cars, played dead in the middle of the street, and chased my neighbors' cat into a pool. When he came back into the house, he had a note taped to his back saying "IOU 1 lawsuit". FML

Today, I got called "un-American" when I said I didn't care about Kim and Kayne's wedding. FML

#21154136
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61652) - you deserved it (5422)

On 05/28/2014 at 12:13am - misc - by Yeppets - United States (Illinois)

Today, my daughter admitted why her grades, which are usually straight A's, have been slipping the past few weeks. Turns out she has been deliberately failing tests to avoid becoming valedictorian, so she won't have to deliver a speech at graduation. FML

#21148414
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49039) - you deserved it (6058)

On 05/22/2014 at 3:24pm - kids - by stillaproudfather (man) - United States

Today, I collected my students' final essays. One of them submitted a printout of a screenshot he took with his phone. Too bad a browser address bar was still in the shot, along with a "click to read more" link at the bottom. My students are too dumb and lazy to even plagiarize properly. FML

#21148317
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42804) - you deserved it (4435)

On 05/22/2014 at 12:47pm - work - by What am I doing with my life? - United States (Colorado)

Today, I had a wonderful dream where I got married to the perfect guy, then had the best sex of my life on a beautiful honeymoon. The only problem is that my "husband" was the snowman from Frozen, and that I got sad when I realized it was just a dream. FML

#21142020
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42508) - you deserved it (9067)

On 05/16/2014 at 5:07pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I received yet another rejection letter from a college I'd applied to. After crying for a week about how lousy I felt, my older sister gave me all 6 of the acceptance letters she'd been hiding. Turns out she's been forging rejection letters and keeping the real ones in her room. FML

#21140332
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66845) - you deserved it (4943)

On 05/15/2014 at 1:40am - misc - by livingamongtheflowers - United States

Today, I met this overweight chick and ended up sleeping with her. We were doing it doggy style and it was great until she said, "Milk me like a cow." I can no longer drink milk without hearing that in my head. FML

#21132249
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49864) - you deserved it (18139)

On 05/06/2014 at 9:55am - intimacy - by chumman (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my wrists were hurting really bad while working the production line. I was told to let my supervisor know so he can help accommodate it. Both supervisors responded by ending my employment there to make sure I don't suffer long term damage. FML



Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML
  • So, have you ordered it? Have you got it? No? Yes? Do you have any idea of what I'm talking about? OK, for the normal people, I'm talking about the new iPhone 6. Apparently, it came out today. I'm not…

Friday 19 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: