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OnlyAvailableID's favorite FMLs
Today, I was pushed off of a glacier by a very angry tourist. Why? I work as a glacier guide, and apparently some people find it overly frustrating to be informed that there isn't a café on the glacier. FML
by Quasimodo / 10/18/2013 at 8:40am / Norway (Hordaland) / Work
by SassyBasher / 10/17/2013 at 8:14pm / United States (South Carolina) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 10/17/2013 at 6:57pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend dumped me for knowing more about Batman than he does. He's only seen some of the movies, and as a kid my dad owned a comic book store. He still doesn't see why I should know more, because I'm a girl, and "girls aren't supposed to know about super heroes." FML
by Anonymous / 10/15/2013 at 5:48pm / United States (Illinois) / Love
Today, I found out that my brother is adamant that if he records silence, then listens to said silence at full volume, it'll improve the headphones' noise-blocking abilities. I live with a complete idiot. FML
by Eggs6131 / 10/15/2013 at 9:09am / United Kingdom (Nottingham) / Miscellaneous
Today, my weird neighbor is a conspiracy theorist and thinks the government is trying to kill him. Someone thought it would be funny to shine a red laser light through his window. I was on the stairs when he ran past, screaming bloody murder, sending me down a flight of steps. FML
by Anonymous / 10/14/2013 at 3:13am / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous
by mustabeendrugs / 10/13/2013 at 9:14pm / United States (Arizona) / Work
Today, in revenge for me pulling the old salt-in-the-soda prank on him, my dad showed up at my college dressed in a tight blouse and miniskirt, demanding that I come home early with him. I think I'm going to be lynched next time I go to class. FML
by HSampsON / 10/13/2013 at 5:20pm / Niger (Niamey) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 10/12/2013 at 2:19am / United States (Connecticut) / Work
Today, I tried to catch a train to get to my new job. I was stopped and told that I needed a pre-purchased ticket to enter the platform. The only way to get the ticket, they said, was by buying one on the platform. I arrived by taxi nearly an hour late for my first day. FML
by sharkiewarkiemoosey / 10/11/2013 at 2:22pm / Switzerland (Ausser-Rhoden) / Work
by Ellie / 10/09/2013 at 7:15pm / United States (Kansas) / Work
by arthise / 10/09/2013 at 3:03am / United States (Indiana) / Love
Today, I was working a kid's birthday party dressed as a clown. The child's mother made me change because he was scared of clowns. The only thing I had in my car was a princess costume that was owned by a girl co-worker. So for 4 hours I had to entertain in a tight pink dress. I'm a guy. FML
by Allycat / 10/08/2013 at 9:19pm / United States (New York) / Kids
by Anonymous / 10/08/2013 at 5:16pm / United States (Illinois) / Kids
Today, my boyfriend accused me of cheating because according to him, our child does not have his hair color, eye color, or other facial features. Our son is five days old, bald and hasn't opened his eyes much. The closest thing I can probably compare him to is an old, wrinkly potato. FML
by thisguy / 10/08/2013 at 5:55am / United States (California) / Kids
- Today, I couldn't get into my car. I got mad at the lock, and my key broken inside it. It wasn't my… Today, I took a restroom break in a Japanese train station. I couldn’t find the toilet flush, so I… Today, I’m a bus driver in Paris. A guy got on with a sheep. I told him that you can’t take the bus…