Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

OnlyAvailableID

Online | Search for a member

OnlyAvailableID

1Liked!

OnlyAvailableIDOnlyAvailableID
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5949
  • Number of comments : 139
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About OnlyAvailableID : Eudaemonia.

OnlyAvailableID's page activity

Visits<b>I_Am_Lamp_</b> - the 01/11/2015 at 6:18am<b>shadowedpixie</b> - the 12/31/2014 at 3:31am<b>buckdharma</b> - the 12/27/2014 at 11:51am<b>Lalala579121</b> - the 12/26/2014 at 12:50pm<b>Zarniclopsindorf</b> - the 12/26/2014 at 12:43pm<b>LittleRed79</b> - the 12/21/2014 at 9:32pm<b>fantasyworld</b> - the 12/21/2014 at 9:10pm<b>captainsmegma</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 9:59pm<b>cnbcad</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 10:12am<b>salyhahaha</b> - the 12/13/2014 at 7:59am<b>thelastavailable</b> - the 12/13/2014 at 4:59am<b>your_ma</b> - the 12/12/2014 at 3:30am<b>i_love_him_</b> - the 12/11/2014 at 9:47pm<b>maximus_prime</b> - the 12/08/2014 at 3:08am<b>kerstileann</b> - the 11/29/2014 at 11:17pm<b>kelseysking</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 1:54pm<b>AHotCupOfCoffee</b> - the 11/04/2014 at 10:44pm<b>RaspberryFlower</b> - the 11/01/2014 at 6:14am

Liked!<b>salyhahaha</b> - the 12/13/2014 at 1:59pm

OnlyAvailableID's FML badges

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of OnlyAvailableID's badges

OnlyAvailableID's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that I am "un-promotable" to the job that I have been promised for the last two years because, I "don't suffer idiots well." Idiots. FML

Today, while on vacation, my parents called to inform me that my best friend had died in a car accident. Why? To trick me into tearfully confessing my love for him. It worked. FML

#21272324
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48965) - you deserved it (4328)

On 10/06/2014 at 9:14pm - love - by whywouldyoudothat - United States (Arizona)

Today, I told my boyfriend about how I was a test tube baby. He looked at me with confusion before asking, "But if scientists made you, surely you'd be really attractive and talented and stuff?" FML

#21272259
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38461) - you deserved it (3773)

On 10/06/2014 at 7:47pm - misc - by thanks babe - United Kingdom (Shropshire)

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a massage. I guess I hit the spot, because he muttered, "Please marry me" into the pillow. Considering we've been going out for years and had spoken about marriage before, I stopped in my tracks. He stammered, "Oh, I mean... Not like that. Will you keep going?" FML

#21272255
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35514) - you deserved it (3672)

On 10/06/2014 at 7:41pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my loving five-year-old daughter started singing Christmas carols again. Ones that she made up herself, of course. Including "Walking in a fucking wonderland" and "Rudolph the red nosed asshole". FML

Today, my little sister had her second son. She is 31 and she named her sons after her favorite television characters, Sam and Dean Winchester. She has made it her life goal to make sure her husband never finds out. FML

#21269654
249 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30166) - you deserved it (3829)

On 10/02/2014 at 4:29pm - kids - by mykodu - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out my son was selling pot for pesos. We live in New Jersey and have never planned on going to Mexico. FML

#21268628
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37504) - you deserved it (4557)

On 09/30/2014 at 10:30pm - kids - by Potforapeso (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, same as every other night, I sat in my car outside my home, just to avoid going inside. I live alone. FML

Today, on my first day of sailing practice, I managed to sit on a metal cleat. After being admitted to the ER, I was informed that I had two vaginal lacerations that needed surgery. The nurse tried to convince me it was my lucky day, because the hospital café was serving vanilla pudding. FML

#21267748
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39809) - you deserved it (3537)

On 09/29/2014 at 3:39pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I got back home from work and casually asked my dad "What's up?" He casually replied: "Wishing I'd had a son instead." and stared glassy-eyed at me until I left the room. FML

#21265875
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32046) - you deserved it (2465)

On 09/26/2014 at 4:00pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went to use the porta potty at the construction site I work at and found two homeless people having sex in it. I almost got fired, because my advisor blamed me. FML

#21264426
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (365) - you deserved it (2695)

On 09/24/2014 at 9:58am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my fiancé and I were having sex in the early hours of the morning. He said "Morning sex is the best thing to wake up to." Without thinking, I responded "Yeah, unless you're in prison." He lost his erection due to laughing so hard and now can't look at me without laughing. FML

#21262210
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41638) - you deserved it (11325)

On 09/21/2014 at 1:11am - intimacy - by RuinedTheMood (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my dad found out I recently tried weed. He called me a useless waste of air and grounded me for the rest of the year. Then he went outside and smoked his third cigarette of the morning. FML

#21261280
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34770) - you deserved it (13268)

On 09/19/2014 at 2:34pm - kids - by hypercrite dad (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I went on a blind date. My date would respond to me by saying "retweet" and "favorite" when she thought something was relatable. FML

#21261017
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40490) - you deserved it (3523)

On 09/18/2014 at 11:15pm - love - by clairebear104 - United States (Kentucky)



Idan Schneider's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Idan Schneider's illustrated FML
  • Oi! Stop "playing" that digeridoo and get out! There, now that I've tidied up my apartment, we can begin. How are you all doing? Have you got your leather jacket out of storage to go hang out down at…

Thursday 22 January 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: