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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3585
  • Number of comments : 130
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About OnlyAvailableID : Butts.

OnlyAvailableID's page activity

Visits<b>shadowedpixie</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 5:19am<b>NicoleErin</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 12:44pm<b>ShinyMeatBicycle</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 6:06pm<b>KellyMarie89</b> - the 07/01/2014 at 3:59am<b>SkittlesGoRawr</b> - the 06/27/2014 at 12:28am<b>RaspberryFlower</b> - the 06/20/2014 at 3:35am<b>umerin</b> - the 06/18/2014 at 9:23pm<b>ChloeLentin</b> - the 06/18/2014 at 2:55am<b>AnaMoore</b> - the 06/10/2014 at 6:01am<b>thatonemudkip</b> - the 06/07/2014 at 4:53am<b>hemonnne</b> - the 05/27/2014 at 4:35am<b>watermelon1</b> - the 05/25/2014 at 8:40am<b>CkmLion</b> - the 05/18/2014 at 1:35am<b>CoGhostRider</b> - the 05/11/2014 at 8:50am<b>Juicenub</b> - the 05/05/2014 at 4:39am<b>austinmars</b> - the 04/22/2014 at 7:34pm<b>colerean</b> - the 04/22/2014 at 5:13pm<b>samm12099</b> - the 04/18/2014 at 6:52pm

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OnlyAvailableID's favorite FMLs

Today, I overheard my boyfriend saying to his friends, "I never knew what real contraception was until I saw Laura's face." I'm Laura. FML

#21219482
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26629) - you deserved it (2378)

On 07/24/2014 at 4:51pm - love - by I don't condome that, babe (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I had to take a splinter out of my eight year old son's penis. FML

Today, I asked my class of fifth graders to write down a list of all the compound words they knew. At least four of them put down 'motherfucker'. FML

#21218609
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30282) - you deserved it (3354)

On 07/23/2014 at 7:16pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I went on Facebook. The third post down was a selfie of my mom looking sad, with the caption, "God I need a good dicking." FML

#21218442
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35793) - you deserved it (10071)

On 07/23/2014 at 4:00pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boss is still refusing to hire any more people because he's convinced I can handle all of the work after the majority of staff quit. FML

#21217678
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33620) - you deserved it (2607)

On 07/22/2014 at 8:51pm - work - by Inthedumps (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went to my weekly AA meeting. It was a huge crowd and I was the guest speaker. Not 5 minutes into my speech, I was booed off stage and banned from further attendance because I accidentally wore a Jack Daniel's shirt. FML

#21217633
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17471) - you deserved it (41700)

On 07/22/2014 at 7:20pm - health - by dypshyyt - United States (Florida)

Today, my dad interrupted my job interview with a phone call, just to say "I fucked your mom." No shit, dad. FML

#21199559
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44075) - you deserved it (7047)

On 07/05/2014 at 1:53pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, the deranged idiot that I am defending in court went completely nuts and told the judge that I am the guy who planned the whole armed robbery that he is on trial for. FML

#21198798
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47667) - you deserved it (4337)

On 07/04/2014 at 7:17pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, I watched a Youtube video about artists who ripped off other artist's songs. All of the bands that were accused of stealing were all bands that I really enjoy. FML

#21194507
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34497) - you deserved it (9743)

On 07/01/2014 at 12:12am - misc - by dillon (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I only just found out that the abbreviation "lbs" is actually short for pounds. I've been saying "labs" my entire life. I'm 21. FML

#21179613
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24829) - you deserved it (50283)

On 06/18/2014 at 5:06pm - misc - by shtidsfpa (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I let my dog outside to play. He shat on three cars, played dead in the middle of the street, and chased my neighbors' cat into a pool. When he came back into the house, he had a note taped to his back saying "IOU 1 lawsuit". FML

Today, I got called "un-American" when I said I didn't care about Kim and Kayne's wedding. FML

#21154136
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61547) - you deserved it (5419)

On 05/28/2014 at 12:13am - misc - by Yeppets - United States (Illinois)

Today, my daughter admitted why her grades, which are usually straight A's, have been slipping the past few weeks. Turns out she has been deliberately failing tests to avoid becoming valedictorian, so she won't have to deliver a speech at graduation. FML

#21148414
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48895) - you deserved it (6050)

On 05/22/2014 at 3:24pm - kids - by stillaproudfather (man) - United States

Today, I collected my students' final essays. One of them submitted a printout of a screenshot he took with his phone. Too bad a browser address bar was still in the shot, along with a "click to read more" link at the bottom. My students are too dumb and lazy to even plagiarize properly. FML

#21148317
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42396) - you deserved it (4393)

On 05/22/2014 at 12:47pm - work - by What am I doing with my life? - United States (Colorado)

Today, I had a wonderful dream where I got married to the perfect guy, then had the best sex of my life on a beautiful honeymoon. The only problem is that my "husband" was the snowman from Frozen, and that I got sad when I realized it was just a dream. FML

#21142020
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41827) - you deserved it (8921)

On 05/16/2014 at 5:07pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States



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  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

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