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OnlyAvailableID

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3898
  • Number of comments : 131
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About OnlyAvailableID : Eudaemonia.

OnlyAvailableID's page activity

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OnlyAvailableID's favorite FMLs

Today, at my dining job, my boss told me the food was "technically illegal to serve," air quotes and all. FML

#21249316
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4247) - you deserved it (292)

On 08/31/2014 at 9:56pm - work - by dining - United States (Iowa)

Today, after finally getting rid of an extremely rude, abusive customer, I muttered that I could kill people like her. I didn't know my manager had heard me, until a pair of police officers arrived. He'd reported me for "threatening to murder a customer". FML

#21247836
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29506) - you deserved it (7749)

On 08/29/2014 at 12:17pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Slough)

Today, it's been three weeks since my dad finished growing what he calls a "Jesus beard" and gone out asking for donations and claiming to be Jesus Christ. I've been trying and failing to get a job for 2 years, and he's already raking in cash from gullible idiots. FML

#21247834
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29746) - you deserved it (2664)

On 08/29/2014 at 12:16pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went on a date with the world's biggest lightweight. She got blind drunk on wine before dessert, and slurred, "You look like... like a black... blueberry." Amused, I said, "You mean a blackberry?" She stared at me for several long seconds, confused, then passed out. Check please. FML

#21247229
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32744) - you deserved it (2484)

On 08/28/2014 at 3:58pm - love - by wowzer (man) - Puerto Rico

Today, I got my wisdom teeth removed. All I can remember is crying to my mom because I thought spoons were taking over the world. FML

Today, my boss asked me if I could work this weekend, doing the work of 2 people, for almost no extra pay. I had a weekend out with my kids planned, so I said I couldn't. My boss called it a shitty excuse, yet gave a free pass to a guy who claimed he had a "phobia of working on weekends". FML

#21245803
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34082) - you deserved it (2168)

On 08/26/2014 at 2:11pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Latvia (Riga)

Today, while my teacher was demonstrating how to use the ultrasound equipment, we all figured out that I'm pregnant. FML

#21245451
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47035) - you deserved it (9210)

On 08/25/2014 at 10:37pm - health - by whotouchedyou1 - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to flush someone else's shit in the public washroom at work. It was so vile, I didn't want to get anywhere near it, so flushed it with my foot, only for it to slip off the handle and into the toilet. FML

#21244424
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35241) - you deserved it (12082)

On 08/24/2014 at 1:31pm - work - by Alisterine - United States (Missouri)

Today, it's the 16th day of my period. FML

#21241406
289 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62719) - you deserved it (4089)

On 08/20/2014 at 1:15am - health - by BagelTheOtaku (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my boss threw out the report I wrote for the board of directors. He said that if it were legal, he'd smash me in the balls with a brick for using Comic Sans. I had to do the whole thing again in another font with my coworkers snickering at me. FML

#21238351
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20073) - you deserved it (48908)

On 08/15/2014 at 5:35pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, since I work at a doughnut shop, I came home smelling like fry oil and had bits of sugar on me. My boyfriend told me he loves having sex with me right after I get off work. He said its like having sex with a hot doughnut. FML

#21230044
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44072) - you deserved it (6860)

On 08/05/2014 at 12:48pm - intimacy - by donutsex (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my blind date turned out to be my gynecologist. FML

#21229613
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47402) - you deserved it (3696)

On 08/04/2014 at 10:00pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, at work, an old man was having trouble using his credit card at the checkout. I told him to "just stick it in", and he replied with "I love it when you talk dirty to me." The whole line at the checkout laughed. FML

#21228111
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49011) - you deserved it (21193)

On 08/03/2014 at 1:16am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my fiancé said "Rachel" instead of my name when asked to repeat, "I take thee, Emily, to be my lawfully wedded wife." I was shocked, so he explained while laughing that he doesn't even know a Rachel. He ruined our wedding for a Friends quote. FML

Today, I lost my wedding ring at work. It wouldn't be too hard to track down, except that I work at Heinz. If you find it in your mayonnaise, keep it. FML



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