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OnlyAvailableID

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OnlyAvailableID

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4090
  • Number of comments : 133
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About OnlyAvailableID : Eudaemonia.

OnlyAvailableID's page activity

Visits<b>catchmenow1</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 2:39am<b>Brandi_Faith</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 7:53am<b>Aero_x</b> - the 09/10/2014 at 10:20pm<b>Demonface54</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 1:26pm<b>justbarb</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 10:04pm<b>adrianvons</b> - the 08/12/2014 at 7:25am<b>wassuploves</b> - the 08/05/2014 at 11:52pm<b>NeverComments</b> - the 08/05/2014 at 11:04pm<b>Miss_Brii</b> - the 08/04/2014 at 11:43pm<b>pwnapple99</b> - the 08/01/2014 at 12:31am<b>DewIchigo</b> - the 07/29/2014 at 4:32am<b>shadowedpixie</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 5:19am<b>NicoleErin</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 12:44pm<b>ShinyMeatBicycle</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 6:06pm<b>KellyMarie89</b> - the 07/01/2014 at 3:59am<b>SkittlesGoRawr</b> - the 06/27/2014 at 12:28am<b>RaspberryFlower</b> - the 06/20/2014 at 3:35am<b>umerin</b> - the 06/18/2014 at 9:23pm

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OnlyAvailableID's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend visited my restaurant with some guy I'd never seen before. She introduced him to me as her "new boyfriend". She was always a cold bitch, but I never saw this coming. I had to serve their food while choking back tears, and I couldn't work up the nerve to spit in it. FML

#21260464
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20140) - you deserved it (1767)

On 09/18/2014 at 3:32am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I got up at 4.30am, like I do every morning, and got ready for work. Just as I was about to walk out the door, my flatmate jumped me and beat the snot out of me thinking I was a burglar. Because apparently burglars shower, make toast and clean up before stealing all your shit. FML

#21259933
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30138) - you deserved it (1992)

On 09/17/2014 at 8:18am - misc - by makeyourselfathome (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, some assface hacked my recently deceased friend's Facebook account. The person changed my friend's location to "Hell", then posted a status saying how hot the weather was, and replied "I wish :'(" to someone who'd said my friend was in a better place now. FML

#21257037
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40135) - you deserved it (2667)

On 09/12/2014 at 5:11pm - misc - by he's not the one going to hell (man) - Australia

Today, my college did a fire drill, and instructions were given by intercom in English and Spanish. The guy beside me mused: "If they say it in English and Mexican, why not say it in Black too?" That guy is my idiot brother, and he was dead serious. Sometimes I think our parents are related. FML

#21257016
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33182) - you deserved it (2687)

On 09/12/2014 at 4:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, someone in my class referred to the September 11th attacks as "Nine-Elevs". FML

#21255951
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34163) - you deserved it (2808)

On 09/10/2014 at 9:47pm - misc - by no - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was about to lose my virginity to my girlfriend. Unfortunately, she started fake-moaning like a pornstar before I even entered her, totally killing the mood and my boner. She swore she hadn't moaned, accused me of not finding her attractive enough, and angrily left. FML

#21252510
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35465) - you deserved it (5638)

On 09/05/2014 at 4:55pm - intimacy - by Perdito_Coño (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She just grabbed the ring and said in a raspy voice, "My precious..." FML

#21250558
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40459) - you deserved it (7727)

On 09/02/2014 at 2:58pm - love - by anonymous - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I asked my girlfriend to talk dirty to me. Her response was to impersonate a saxophone. FML

#21250455
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31719) - you deserved it (7430)

On 09/02/2014 at 11:32am - intimacy - by ihatejasonderulo - United Kingdom (Hounslow)

Today, at my dining job, my boss told me the food was "technically illegal to serve," air quotes and all. FML

#21249316
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32227) - you deserved it (2388)

On 08/31/2014 at 9:56pm - work - by dining - United States (Iowa)

Today, after finally getting rid of an extremely rude, abusive customer, I muttered that I could kill people like her. I didn't know my manager had heard me, until a pair of police officers arrived. He'd reported me for "threatening to murder a customer". FML

#21247836
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36019) - you deserved it (9389)

On 08/29/2014 at 12:17pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Slough)

Today, it's been three weeks since my dad finished growing what he calls a "Jesus beard" and gone out asking for donations and claiming to be Jesus Christ. I've been trying and failing to get a job for 2 years, and he's already raking in cash from gullible idiots. FML

#21247834
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35930) - you deserved it (3195)

On 08/29/2014 at 12:16pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went on a date with the world's biggest lightweight. She got blind drunk on wine before dessert, and slurred, "You look like... like a black... blueberry." Amused, I said, "You mean a blackberry?" She stared at me for several long seconds, confused, then passed out. Check please. FML

#21247229
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37889) - you deserved it (2788)

On 08/28/2014 at 3:58pm - love - by wowzer (man) - Puerto Rico

Today, I got my wisdom teeth removed. All I can remember is crying to my mom because I thought spoons were taking over the world. FML

Today, my boss asked me if I could work this weekend, doing the work of 2 people, for almost no extra pay. I had a weekend out with my kids planned, so I said I couldn't. My boss called it a shitty excuse, yet gave a free pass to a guy who claimed he had a "phobia of working on weekends". FML

#21245803
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36508) - you deserved it (2202)

On 08/26/2014 at 2:11pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Latvia (Riga)

Today, while my teacher was demonstrating how to use the ultrasound equipment, we all figured out that I'm pregnant. FML

#21245451
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50386) - you deserved it (9706)

On 08/25/2014 at 10:37pm - health - by whotouchedyou1 - United States (Texas)



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  • So, is everyone back from their vacation? Can we get back to regular programming? No? OK, I get it. You're all still crying about not being at the beach any more, well, I am anyway. And this time of year…

Thursday 11 September 2014

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