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OmegWar's favorite FMLs
by fthislyfe / 07/02/2011 at 10:06am / United States (Wyoming) / Love
by Username / 07/01/2011 at 5:47pm / United States (Illinois) / Money
by FMarinasL / 06/30/2011 at 7:43pm / United States (Arizona) / Work
Today, my best friend was fired from the place we both work at because she's a bad employee. After they fired her she said, "If I go, I'm taking my best friend with me." So they fired me too. I actually liked that job. FML
by Anonymous / 11/24/2010 at 3:45am / Canada (Ontario) / Work
Today, while my mom was out, I took the car out to CVS to get some food, even though I'm not legally allowed to drive. As soon as I got back in the car, my mom pulled up 2 parking spaces away from me. She didn't notice me bend down to hide... until I accidentally hit the horn in the process. FML
by horn-y / 11/23/2010 at 1:23pm / United States (Arizona) / Transportation
by mydadsawsooomuch / 11/17/2010 at 8:26am / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 10/22/2010 at 2:32pm / Norway (More og Romsdal) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 10/17/2010 at 8:27pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
Today, on my way to school I dropped my money. As I turned to pick it up, I saw an old lady snatch it up. We began to argue when a police officer came over. Not only was I accused of being a disorderly thief, but that old lady just walked away with my lunch money for the entire week. FML
by melean / 10/04/2010 at 2:37am / Trinidad and Tobago / Money
Today, I ran over my neighbors' cat. I didn't want it to look like I killed it, so I put it under my other neighbor's car so it would look like they ran over it. The cat's owners were watching me. FML
by awesome / 09/21/2010 at 12:49am / United States (Arizona) / Animals
Today, whilst at my awards night, I got a boner, right as it was my turn to accept my award. To avoid a awkward situation, I flipped it up and under my belt. This failed to make the situation any less awkward, because the head of my penis poked out through my shirt, in plain view of the audience. FML
by Anonymous / 09/17/2010 at 2:57am / Australia (Queensland) / Intimacy
Today, my new wife and I got back from our honeymoon. Her parents had dropped our wedding gifts off at our apartment, but didn't lock the door. We came home to start off our new life together to a wrecked apartment and no gifts. FML
by Anonymous / 09/07/2010 at 6:17am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, one of my mum's dinner guests walked in on me and my boyfriend kissing, only to let out a horrified scream. Apparently my mum had introduced my boyfriend as her son, as she is embarrassed of my real brother. FML
by incestastic / 08/14/2010 at 7:23pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love
Today, my girlfriend of 2 years broke up with me because she said I was more of a woman than she was. I yelled out, "I HATE YOU!" and started to cry. She then took a tampon out of her purse, handed it to me, laughed, and walked away. FML
by GirlishMan1883897 / 07/24/2010 at 6:53am / United States (Connecticut) / Love
- 1Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 2Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's… 3Today, I'm still reeling over the unexpected loss of my co-worker. I also received a notification…
- Today, my wife uttered the soul-crushing words, "But we're married now, why would we have sex?" FML Today, I wore a sexy nurse's outfit for a little roleplay with my boyfriend. After the main event,… Today, I started undressing in front of my boyfriend. He politely said, "Excuse me, please" because…