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Ohmie

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  • Number of visits : 2187
  • Number of comments : 29
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

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Ohmie's favorite FMLs

Today, in the middle of the night, I was punched in the face by my frightened girlfriend, who had just been awoken by her own fart. FML

#5550225
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64403) - you deserved it (4714)

On 09/29/2009 at 5:21pm - love - by P0wned (man) - France (Bretagne)

Today, I pulled a bee off of my friend's dog because we were worried he could be allergic. Of course I got stung, and of course the dog wasn't allergic. Turns out I am. FML

#5463799
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34848) - you deserved it (4852)

On 09/25/2009 at 9:09am - health - by boomstick (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I surprised my girlfriend with U2 tickets. Still no action. FML

#5441103
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12189) - you deserved it (27414)

On 09/24/2009 at 12:30am - intimacy - by loveless (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my best friend, the man who I've been in love with for nine years, finally told me he loves me and wants to spend the rest of his life with me. Unfortunately, it was while he was using me to practice proposing to his girlfriend. FML

#5269441
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49722) - you deserved it (7900)

On 09/15/2009 at 6:53am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I fell asleep during naptime. I'm the teacher. FML

#5013667
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16996) - you deserved it (34259)

On 09/03/2009 at 1:05am - work - by yogabbagabba (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I had a stressful day at work and decided to go in the jacuzzi. I hadn't used it for a year, so it was a little dirty. After I cleaned it, filled it up, and jumped in, I pressed the jets. Immediately, thousands of dead moths shot out at full speed towards me. FML

#4927406
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52557) - you deserved it (13831)

On 08/30/2009 at 11:23am - misc - by mel (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my five year old daughter told me that while I'm at work, daddy has his wrestling buddy Melinda over. She also said that they wrestle on the bed so that they won't get hurt. FML

#4867119
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (77661) - you deserved it (3390)

On 08/27/2009 at 7:57pm - love - by abercrombieef (woman) - United States (California)

Today, it was my birthday. My parents came into my room at 12:01 to surprise me. Do you know what fifteen year olds do at midnight? FML

#4734669
399 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43856) - you deserved it (22513)

On 08/22/2009 at 12:25pm - misc - by urmommmm (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. After about 10 minutes, when we change positions, he shouts: "Power Rangers - Transform!" FML

#4636801
259 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56831) - you deserved it (11357)

On 08/18/2009 at 7:45pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I grabbed the nearest plastic bag in my bedroom when my boyfriend and I left for Wal-Mart so I could return a pair of shorts. When the cashier dumped the contents of the bag onto the counter at customer service, my shorts and a used condom fell out. It was the longest return of my life. FML

#4574757
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12081) - you deserved it (50233)

On 08/16/2009 at 2:51pm - intimacy - by lolreturn (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, my ex got dumped by his girlfriend. Seeing my opportunity I sent him a song I wrote for him about how much I still love him. He sent it on to the girl who had just dumped him claiming he had written it. They are back together. FML

#4470917
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55000) - you deserved it (20385)

On 08/12/2009 at 7:18am - love - by sadsongstress (woman) - Belgium (Brabant)

Today, I told my mom about how my friend is going to China for a year instead of college. My mom suggested that I could do the same. When I told her that a trip to China is probably more expensive than my college tuition, my mom replied, "Not for a one way ticket". FML

#4454040
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39485) - you deserved it (6020)

On 08/11/2009 at 4:31pm - misc - by unwanted - Canada

Today, I was at the mall with my little brother. I saw him touching some expensive objects, so I slapped his arm. I noticed he wasn't my brother when he started crying and his real mom slapped me in the face. FML

#4402350
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13767) - you deserved it (50149)

On 08/09/2009 at 3:28am - kids - by mochiko (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I showed by ID to get into a bar and the bouncer kept it because he said it wasn't me. It was. Apparently I've gained so much weight I am unrecognizable. FML

#4125709
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35796) - you deserved it (14269)

On 07/29/2009 at 1:53am - misc - by jcesom - United States (West Virginia)

Today, my husband and kids celebrated my 50th birthday. I turned 47. FML

#3949793
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58230) - you deserved it (3327)

On 07/22/2009 at 7:29am - misc - by Anonymous - Netherlands (Gelderland)



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