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Ohmie

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  • Number of visits : 2540
  • Number of comments : 29
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

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Ohmie's favorite FMLs

Today, I discovered that my boyfriend has a YouTube channel devoted to taking the camera out whenever he has to fart. FML

#10748439
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25517) - you deserved it (3806)

On 05/25/2010 at 12:55am - misc - by alyssac11 - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was watching a movie at my girlfriend's house with her and her parents. There was a part where a brother and sister kissed, so I said "where'd they come from, Alabama?" Today is also the day I found out my girlfriend's parents are from Alabama. FML

#10717773
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11060) - you deserved it (33472)

On 05/23/2010 at 7:15pm - misc - by THANKS4theINFO (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was having an affair with a girl from my work. She scratched my back while we were doing it and I didn't want my wife to find out so I threw myself down the stairs at work and ended up having to go to the hospital. FML

#10658705
523 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15766) - you deserved it (245151)

On 05/20/2010 at 10:33pm - intimacy - by Chichensoup (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I tried to demonstrate to my friend how laughably dull our kitchen knives are by swiping one across my palm. Turns out Dad noticed the problem yesterday and sharpened them. FML

#8991320
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8907) - you deserved it (46638)

On 03/11/2010 at 3:13am - misc - by ShowOff (woman) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, I lied to my crush telling him I can play the piano. To 'prove' it, I recorded a video on my phone of a girl playing a beautiful piece. After I sent it, I realized my mouse cursor was in the center of the page the entire time. FML

#8505761
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (3898) - you deserved it (53481)

On 02/21/2010 at 2:41am - misc - by Piano999 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I found out that my boyfriend joined a group on Facebook called 'Swallow. Or it's going in your eye.' Today I also found out that my boyfriend takes Facebook groups very seriously. FML

#8439216
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20133) - you deserved it (4262)

On 02/19/2010 at 9:27am - intimacy - by kit_kat14 (man) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, a picture fell off of the wall in the middle of the night. It hit me smack bang in the middle of face. FML

#8403549
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21389) - you deserved it (3296)

On 02/18/2010 at 9:22am - health - by Hayleey_079 (woman) - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)

Today, a black cat crossed in front of my truck and I thought to myself that it was funny people believe black cats bring bad luck. Not even two minutes later, I drove my truck into a ditch. FML

#8338090
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18995) - you deserved it (9248)

On 02/16/2010 at 12:56pm - animals - by matiasbarbero - United States

Today, my dog farted next to my CPAP sleep/breathing machine. The machine sucked up her fart, compressed it, and promptly injected it up both of my nostrils. FML

#8202300
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38681) - you deserved it (3412)

On 02/13/2010 at 11:08am - animals - by Dog fart - United States

Today, I bought myself a flower for Valentine's Day to be delivered to myself from "Anonymous". FML

#8167540
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10849) - you deserved it (26227)

On 02/12/2010 at 1:11pm - love - by mike4444 - Sent from mobile version

Today, my girlfriend of a couple of months texted me that she was very sad because her puppy had just passed away. Feeling sorry for her, I bought her another puppy of the same breed. I wrapped it in a blanket and placed it on the passenger seat and went to pick her up from school. She sat on it. FML

#8099753
293 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30757) - you deserved it (7753)

On 02/10/2010 at 7:03pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was lying in bed throwing a football in the air and catching it. I missed a catch, and the ball hit me between the legs. I shoved my hands down my pants because it hurt, just as my step-dad walked into the room and saw me holding my crotch and moaning. FML

#7548356
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29916) - you deserved it (8349)

On 01/24/2010 at 5:24pm - misc - by Blah (man) - United States

Today, I fell asleep after finishing my exam. I had a dream I was falling and woke up smashing my face on the desk. Everyone laughed. FML

#7459742
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21875) - you deserved it (7716)

On 01/20/2010 at 6:19pm - health - by M_Kclift1994 (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I fell asleep after finishing my exam. I had a dream I was falling and woke up smashing my face on the desk. Everyone laughed. FML

#7459742
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21875) - you deserved it (7716)

On 01/20/2010 at 6:19pm - health - by M_Kclift1994 (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I was giving my boyfriend head. As I was beginning to enjoy and really get into it, I heard him say, "Oh my god, this is good shit." I looked up sexily, only to find that he was eating a Twinkie. FML

#7339757
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27328) - you deserved it (4940)

On 01/14/2010 at 3:36pm - intimacy - by scubai (woman) - United States (New Jersey)



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