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Ohmie

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  • Number of visits : 2440
  • Number of comments : 29
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

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Ohmie's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that the woman I'm currently dating used to be a man. FML

#14105227
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55364) - you deserved it (9368)

On 12/06/2010 at 7:24am - intimacy - by swindstorm -

Today, I found out that the woman I'm currently dating used to be a man. FML

#14105227
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55364) - you deserved it (9368)

On 12/06/2010 at 7:24am - intimacy - by swindstorm -

Today, a customer tried to pay for a $1.55 cup of coffee with a gift card, but he came up a dollar short. He let another customer through while he fumbled in his pocket for money. I later noticed a dollar had disappeared from my tip jar. FML

#14095339
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24795) - you deserved it (3458)

On 12/05/2010 at 12:36pm - work - by barista (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I got married. When my father gave me away, in front of hundreds of people, to my groom, he said, "She's your problem now." FML

#14091137
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31619) - you deserved it (7993)

On 12/05/2010 at 1:25am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my son told his teacher that she "has a nice rack." He's four. FML

#14079841
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28177) - you deserved it (10436)

On 12/04/2010 at 1:50am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Singapore

Today, I was about to lose my virginity. I couldn't get it up. FML

#14070837
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46547) - you deserved it (10121)

On 12/03/2010 at 11:19am - intimacy - by flopsy - Australia

Today, my boyfriend left me for my step-sister. He's been cheating on me with her for the past 6 months, and got her pregnant. I also found out that my stomach pains are due to the fact that I'm also pregnant. My family could officially qualify for Jerry Springer. FML

#14068536
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60793) - you deserved it (8951)

On 12/03/2010 at 3:56am - intimacy - by Annonmyus -

Today, two guys broke into my apartment to rob me at gunpoint. While I was wanking. FML

#14043132
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58153) - you deserved it (10586)

On 12/01/2010 at 12:11am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I got hit in the mouth with a hockey stick and lost four teeth. Yesterday I got my braces of six years removed. FML

#14036176
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70922) - you deserved it (4964)

On 11/30/2010 at 2:10pm - health - by Anonymous - Ireland (Monaghan)

Today, I lied when my therapist asked why I preferred Tuesday morning appointments. It's actually because World of Warcraft is down for regularly scheduled maintenance. FML

#14034563
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10076) - you deserved it (33006)

On 11/30/2010 at 10:23am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while my mom was out, I took the car out to CVS to get some food, even though I'm not legally allowed to drive. As soon as I got back in the car, my mom pulled up 2 parking spaces away from me. She didn't notice me bend down to hide... until I accidentally hit the horn in the process. FML

#13949497
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6949) - you deserved it (53281)

On 11/23/2010 at 1:23pm - misc - by horn-y (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I tried to get my license. To get that, I needed to show proof of school enrollment. I graduated early, so they told me to get a copy of my diploma. I went to school, and they told me that I would need a valid driver's license to access my diploma. FML

Today, the hooker I have been seeing regularly for almost a year texted me to say she thinks we should no longer see each other again. I just got dumped by a hooker. FML

#13915907
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15712) - you deserved it (53059)

On 11/20/2010 at 8:06pm - intimacy - by pst - South Africa (Western Cape)

Today, in the wee hours of the morning I decided to make a naked dash to the bathroom, unfortunately, my dad decided to do the same thing at the exact same time. FML

#13874873
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35322) - you deserved it (8906)

On 11/17/2010 at 8:26am - misc - by mydadsawsooomuch (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I had a headache when I woke up for school. I had final exams that day, so I took what I thought were 2 advils. They were two sleeping pills. FML

#13837654
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16614) - you deserved it (23118)

On 11/14/2010 at 4:34am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)



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