Ohmie

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Ohmie

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 5321
  • Number of comments : 29
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

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Ohmie's page activity

Visits<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 4:56am

Ohmie's FML badges

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

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Ohmie's favorite FMLs

Today, trying to be cute, my boyfriend threw a snowball at me. This would have been fine had it not been hard enough to break my glasses. As a college student, I have to choose between eating for the next two weeks or replacing them. FML

by Anonymous / 01/10/2011 at 2:09am / United States (Michigan) / Health

Today, my boyfriend tried to serenade me with The Sex is Good by Saving Abel. According to him, "I have to fake it, I'd leave if I could. I'm not in love, but the sex is good." FML

by Anonymous / 01/09/2011 at 3:17pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, I found out that the girl who my high school boyfriend cheated on me with is now the woman my husband is having an affair with. FML

by sad / 01/08/2011 at 12:22am / United States (Oregon) / Love

Today, I got diarrhea while on a trip with my daughters. At our third stop, I had to sit in the stall listening to my 5 year-old informing everyone who came in that "mommy is stopping at EVERY bathroom to poop." FML

by Anonymous / 01/07/2011 at 3:03am / United States / Kids

Today, my dad told me he had been seeing someone for a while and has decided to marry her. When I met her, her son looked familiar. I lost my virginity to him. FML

by LoveMyNewBro / 01/04/2011 at 5:56am / Intimacy

Today, I went down on my boyfriend while he was drunk, and he told me to get protection from his bedroom. I came back, he was passed out on the couch. His parents then came into the room after hearing noises. I was sitting there naked holding a condom while he was fast asleep. FML

by Anonymous / 01/04/2011 at 4:01am / New Zealand (Auckland) / Intimacy

Today, I took my daughter to the library instead of the pool. I sat her on the counter and, while I reached for my library card, she turned to the librarian and said "We didn't go to the pool today because Mum has hairy legs." FML

by Anonymous / 01/04/2011 at 3:05am / Australia (New South Wales) / Kids

Today, I had a job interview. The interviewer asked me to give 5 adjectives describing myself. I listed 7. The last one being "listener." FML

by Anonymous / 01/03/2011 at 10:35pm / United States (New York) / Work

Today, after spotting my ex-boyfriend's truck in a desolate parking lot, I decided to "decorate" the muddy side of it with a rather large male appendage. After checking around me to make sure there were no witnesses, I got to work. I probably should have made sure he wasn't sitting in the truck. FML

by lululee53 / 12/30/2010 at 7:07pm / United States (Michigan) / Love

Today, I saw a girl on the subway that I knew so I started waving frantically. She gave me a really weird expression and moved quickly away from me. Then I realised that I only knew her because I had stalked her Facebook once. FML

by Anonymous / 12/29/2010 at 11:30am / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Transportation

Today, my husband yawned in the middle of our wedding vows. FML

by ohmy. / 12/27/2010 at 12:52pm / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, I overheard my boyfriend of two years tell his friend he was going to "pop the question". Ecstatic, I wore my nicest dress and got my hair done for dinner. Near the end, he leant in romantically and asked if we could start doing anal. So much for marriage. FML

by snoozerlooser / 12/24/2010 at 7:00pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, the horn in my car decided to malfunction. It honked continuously for an hour as I drove down the highway. FML

by nick / 12/23/2010 at 9:21pm / United States (Missouri) / Transportation

Today, I accidentally walked in on my roommate while she was changing clothes. She insisted on telling her boyfriend what had happened, because, "It wouldn't feel right" if she didn't. Her boyfriend is a MMA fighter/bodybuilder and has major jealousy issues. I'm screwed. FML

by screwed / 12/22/2010 at 12:56pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend asked me to pick his nose for him. FML

by unattractive / 12/18/2010 at 4:32am / Canada (Alberta) / Love