Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Ohmie

Search for a member

Ohmie

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2119
  • Number of comments : 29
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Ohmie's FML badges

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

See all of Ohmie's badges

Ohmie's favorite FMLs

Today, I accidentally forgot my glasses in a store bathroom. When I finally noticed, I went back to find that someone was wearing them as he was walking out of the store. I didn't have the balls to call him out on it. FML

#15244433
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10477) - you deserved it (42577)

On 03/08/2011 at 9:23pm - misc - by Trippy Penguin -

Today, I had to sell my phone to pay for the phone bill. FML

#15087655
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19560) - you deserved it (24414)

On 02/23/2011 at 4:18am - money - by suzyyy (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Brabant)

Today, I printed out a picture of the popular girl in school as a sort of 'model' for how I wanted my hair cut. The hairdresser taped the picture to the mirror so he could see. Halfway through, my 'model' came in for an appointment. FML

#14993879
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28732) - you deserved it (19820)

On 02/15/2011 at 8:34pm - misc - by nerdychick (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I found out that my boyfriend cheated on me with my best friend. I texted her and I would never talk to her again. But I accidentally sent it to my other best friend, who responded, "I'm so sorry, I never meant for you to find out". My two best friends cheated with my boyfriend. FML

#14943630
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55022) - you deserved it (4246)

On 02/12/2011 at 12:19am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my brother and father thought it would be a good idea to wake me up by turning on a chainsaw and wearing hockey masks. FML

#14753442
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33032) - you deserved it (4157)

On 01/29/2011 at 2:29am - misc - by unlucky dudebag - United States (California)

Today, my 4 year old cousin is staying overnight. Every time I fall asleep he wakes me up to tell me I fell asleep. FML

#14716778
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32378) - you deserved it (3340)

On 01/26/2011 at 2:48am - kids - by Braelynn -

Today, I called my boss and said "I have been awake since 3am throwing up." He replied with "Great, see you at 9" and hung up. FML

#14638505
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29475) - you deserved it (2935)

On 01/19/2011 at 12:31pm - work - by gb739 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my friends thought it'd be funny to hold lighters under the smoke alarms while I was sleeping. FML

#14632650
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20779) - you deserved it (2744)

On 01/18/2011 at 10:40pm - misc - by desertpunk75 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I took the time to make myself look nice just so that the pizza guy would think I had a life. FML

#14628920
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26437) - you deserved it (7721)

On 01/18/2011 at 6:07pm - misc - by sunshine19217 - United States (Florida)

Today, my friends were acting strange around me. This afternoon, I got a text asking me to meet them out for a couple of drinks. Because of all the strange acting, I decided to tell them I'd go and then not go. I just found out they had been planning me a surprise party. FML

#14627617
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7553) - you deserved it (45628)

On 01/18/2011 at 3:53pm - misc - by slondons (woman) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, in high school, we had a presentation about sex, condoms, etc. After a while, the lady explained that we should get to know our sexual organs better. "For example, my daughter looks at her vagina in front of a mirror to check it out." I’m her daughter. FML

#14614725
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58947) - you deserved it (6110) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 3:13pm - misc - by SkinsCastSelection - Belgium - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job. As I reached my climax, she thought it would be funny to turn my 'weapon' against me. Boom, headshot. FML

#14610613
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40062) - you deserved it (26541) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 4:53am - intimacy - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, my boyfriend sent me a picture of his morning dump because it was heart-shaped. FML

#14608701
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32207) - you deserved it (5661) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 1:24am - misc - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, after staying up all night at my friend's house, I woke up to something I couldn't identify on my cheek, so I slapped it away. When I heard crying, I opened my eyes and realized it was my friend's three year old sister who was trying to be sweet by kissing me on the cheek. FML

#14577933
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30350) - you deserved it (14317)

On 01/14/2011 at 1:22pm - misc - by ash (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I realized the birthmark I have on my chest isn't a birthmark at all; it's a third nipple. FML

#14534141
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38072) - you deserved it (4065)

On 01/10/2011 at 3:35pm - health - by triplenipple (man) - Sweden (Skane Lan)



FML's blog

  • FML's Labor Day BBQ
  • The first Monday of September is a holiday in some countries, and is supposed to celebrate Labor Day. So, this means you do nothing to celebrate doing something. I'm confused.  For those of us who…

Monday 1 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: