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Ohmie

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  • Number of visits : 2179
  • Number of comments : 29
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

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Ohmie's FML badges

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It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

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You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

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Ohmie's favorite FMLs

Today, I sent my mom an email with "Bad news" for the subject. At the end of her reply, she said, "And don't scare me! I thought you were going to tell me you're pregnant!" I AM pregnant, and wanted to surprise her on her birthday. Guess I should get her something less disappointing. FML

#158418
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49743) - you deserved it (4403)

On 02/28/2009 at 12:54am - kids - by EmmaG123 (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I was DJ'ing a wedding. The groom wanted a song played for his grandma and grandpa. I announce over the microphone for his grandparents to come to the dance floor for a special song. Turns out his grandparents have been dead for over a year and the song was supposed to be in dedication. FML

#116388
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48899) - you deserved it (9149)

On 02/23/2009 at 7:04pm - misc - by holladaddy (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, while leaving school to skip fourth period, I hit someone's car in the parking lot. It was the teacher's whose class I was going to skip. FML

#88598
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9541) - you deserved it (52050)

On 02/20/2009 at 2:21pm - misc - by Ava777 (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I woke up at 5 and studied for my 9:30am exam for 4 hours. When I left my dorm at 9, it was dark outside. Turns out I slept through the entire day and woke up at 5pm. FML

#77446
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40965) - you deserved it (27347)

On 02/19/2009 at 11:57am - work - by AbsolutelyEffed (man) - United States (California)

Today, I asked to borrow my fat friend's pants for a semi-formal activity tomorrow. I figured I'd just get a belt to hold the pants up. Turns out, the pants fit me. FML

#76555
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13335) - you deserved it (55620)

On 02/19/2009 at 7:18am - health - by Machine (man) - Japan (Okinawa)

Today, my lesbian sister enthusiastically showed me her new strap on. Not only does she get more girls than me, she now has a bigger penis too. FML

#60108
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65985) - you deserved it (5131)

On 02/17/2009 at 10:27am - misc - by stillsingleladies (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I decided to watch some porn before bed. The lights were off and my roommate was already asleep behind me. I put on my noise-canceling headphones and turned up the volume all the way. After a few strokes my roommate got up and plugged in the headphones for me. FML

#55493
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9275) - you deserved it (61125)

On 02/16/2009 at 7:24pm - misc - by lunarboy (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I came into work with a new hair cut and so far everyone has asked me If I lost a bet. FML

#5127
13 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24895) - you deserved it (2920)

On 02/02/2009 at 5:39am - work - by Xpresss - United States (California)

Today, I posted on a forum asking if I could be a moderator. Instead, I got banned. FML

#3026
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6682) - you deserved it (26399)

On 01/28/2009 at 10:00am - misc - by hypebeast - United States (New York)

Today, I realised I like Britney Spears. FML

#2831
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11647) - you deserved it (28937)

On 01/27/2009 at 12:33pm - misc - by embaressed - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I realised I like Britney Spears. FML

#2831
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11647) - you deserved it (28937)

On 01/27/2009 at 12:33pm - misc - by embaressed - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, the pharmacy lady wished me a happy birthday. I was buying the morning after pill. FML

#2565
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28393) - you deserved it (7136)

On 01/25/2009 at 7:14pm - intimacy - by God hates me - United States (Texas)

Today, I danced with a girl until the bar closed. We went back to my place. She had a penis. FML

#2248
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46865) - you deserved it (8752)

On 01/22/2009 at 6:27pm - love - by Noname - Canada (Alberta)

Today, everyone thought that I was the one who farted in the lift. FML

#251
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28580) - you deserved it (4570)

On 11/08/2008 at 2:51am - misc - by Kat - Sent from mobile version



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