Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5396
  • Number of comments : 29
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

This member hasn't filled in their description.

Ohmie's page activity

Visits<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 4:56am

Ohmie's FML badges

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.


You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.


You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

See all of Ohmie's badges

Ohmie's favorite FMLs

Today, I sent my mom an email with "Bad news" for the subject. At the end of her reply, she said, "And don't scare me! I thought you were going to tell me you're pregnant!" I AM pregnant, and wanted to surprise her on her birthday. Guess I should get her something less disappointing. FML

by EmmaG123 / 02/28/2009 at 12:54am / United States (Kansas) / Kids

Today, I was DJ'ing a wedding. The groom wanted a song played for his grandma and grandpa. I announce over the microphone for his grandparents to come to the dance floor for a special song. Turns out his grandparents have been dead for over a year and the song was supposed to be in dedication. FML

by holladaddy / 02/23/2009 at 7:04pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, while leaving school to skip fourth period, I hit someone's car in the parking lot. It was the teacher's whose class I was going to skip. FML

by Ava777 / 02/20/2009 at 2:21pm / United States (North Carolina) / Transportation

Today, I woke up at 5 and studied for my 9:30am exam for 4 hours. When I left my dorm at 9, it was dark outside. Turns out I slept through the entire day and woke up at 5pm. FML

by AbsolutelyEffed / 02/19/2009 at 11:57am / United States (California) / Work

Today, I asked to borrow my fat friend's pants for a semi-formal activity tomorrow. I figured I'd just get a belt to hold the pants up. Turns out, the pants fit me. FML

by Machine / 02/19/2009 at 7:18am / Japan (Okinawa) / Health

Today, my lesbian sister enthusiastically showed me her new strap on. Not only does she get more girls than me, she now has a bigger penis too. FML

by stillsingleladies / 02/17/2009 at 10:27am / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, I decided to watch some porn before bed. The lights were off and my roommate was already asleep behind me. I put on my noise-canceling headphones and turned up the volume all the way. After a few strokes my roommate got up and plugged in the headphones for me. FML

by lunarboy / 02/16/2009 at 7:24pm / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous

Today, I came into work with a new hair cut and so far everyone has asked me If I lost a bet. FML

by Xpresss / 02/02/2009 at 5:39am / United States (California) / Work

Today, I posted on a forum asking if I could be a moderator. Instead, I got banned. FML

by hypebeast / 01/28/2009 at 10:00am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I realised I like Britney Spears. FML

by embaressed / 01/27/2009 at 12:33pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I realised I like Britney Spears. FML

by embaressed / 01/27/2009 at 12:33pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, the pharmacy lady wished me a happy birthday. I was buying the morning after pill. FML

by God hates me / 01/25/2009 at 7:14pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I danced with a girl until the bar closed. We went back to my place. She had a penis. FML

by Noname / 01/22/2009 at 6:27pm / Canada (Alberta) / Love

Today, everyone thought that I was the one who farted in the lift. FML

by Kat / 11/08/2008 at 2:51am / Work