Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Ohmie

Search for a member

Ohmie

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3626
  • Number of comments : 29
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Ohmie's page activity

Visits<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 4:56am

Ohmie's FML badges

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

See all of Ohmie's badges

Ohmie's favorite FMLs

Today, someone asked my wife if I was her father. FML

#16000411
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35801) - you deserved it (7768)

On 05/01/2011 at 3:03am - misc - by Steve.mc - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my bladder decided to empty itself while I was on a rollercoaster. FML

#15991792
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35663) - you deserved it (10333)

On 04/30/2011 at 3:03pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Kentucky)

Today, while being robbed, a man heroically chased down the robber and got my purse back. He then looked at the distance between us, turned the other way and ran off with it. FML

#15974140
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48478) - you deserved it (3628)

On 04/29/2011 at 2:29am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was watching a movie online. There was a 15 minute ad. 13 minutes into watching an ad about birth control, I noticed that there was a "skip this ad" button in the corner. FML

#15949369
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14064) - you deserved it (51395)

On 04/27/2011 at 2:33pm - misc - by popcorn - United States (California)

Today, I stepped outdoors for a minute. The wind blew the door shut, locking me outside. I've spent the last two hours pounding frantically on the windows, trying to wake my 4 year old son who is inside. I can see him sleeping soundly on the couch. FML

#15938297
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28974) - you deserved it (5799)

On 04/26/2011 at 7:11pm - misc - by gottapee (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I dreamed that I was kidnapped by Charlie Sheen. FML

#15912541
301 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34489) - you deserved it (12264)

On 04/24/2011 at 9:10pm - misc - by woahitbechels - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my mom confused me with my dad. She got in the shower with me. FML

#15883377
315 comments

I agree, your life sucks (86610) - you deserved it (6487)

On 04/22/2011 at 7:11am - intimacy - by Damian -

Today, I was taking a crap in a public stall when three kids broke down the door and pelted me with eggs. FML

#15846054
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50308) - you deserved it (6039)

On 04/19/2011 at 11:06am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, my boss friend-requested me on Facebook. My profile picture is of me licking his employee of the month picture for a dare. FML

#15796408
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11185) - you deserved it (50844)

On 04/15/2011 at 3:51pm - work - by asdfjkl (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I watched my dog chase his tail for ten minutes, thinking "wow, dogs are easily entertained." Then I realized that I'd been watching my dog chase his tail for 10 minutes. FML

#15762337
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19727) - you deserved it (39575)

On 04/12/2011 at 10:20pm - animals - by Anonymous -

Today, I was trying to replace the lightbulb in my bedroom. Since I couldn't reach it by myself, I grabbed and stood on a chair. After I got two broken bones, and had stitches in my forehead, I figured that using a chair with wheels probably wasn't the best idea after all. FML

#15581627
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10538) - you deserved it (73338)

On 03/31/2011 at 10:23pm - misc - by owies :( - United States (Florida)

Today, I had to take a dump in a box for a stool test. FML

#15430583
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24957) - you deserved it (12639)

On 03/22/2011 at 11:39am - health - by Maddie -

Today, my neighbors got a rooster. FML

#15427360
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61282) - you deserved it (6582)

On 03/22/2011 at 3:23am - animals - by negin -

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend in his bedroom. It was getting pretty intense, so he got up to close the door. While he was facing the other way, I took off my bra and sling-shot it so that it would hit him. Right when I let go of it, his mom walked in and it hit her in the face. FML

#15426482
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51748) - you deserved it (28813)

On 03/22/2011 at 1:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, the bus came to pick up my daughter to take her to kindergarten. When it honked, I opened the door for her to let her run out to it. Halfway there she tripped and started crying. I couldn't run out because I was still in my underwear. Now her bus thinks I'm the worst mom ever. FML

#15313960
296 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19240) - you deserved it (42125)

On 03/14/2011 at 10:25pm - kids - by mommylovesu (woman) - United States (Maryland)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: