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  • Number of visits : 5405
  • Number of comments : 29
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

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Ohmie's page activity

Visits<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 4:56am

Ohmie's FML badges

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Ohmie's favorite FMLs

Today, someone asked my wife if I was her father. FML

by Steve.mc / 05/01/2011 at 3:03am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my bladder decided to empty itself while I was on a rollercoaster. FML

by Anonymous / 04/30/2011 at 3:03pm / United States (Kentucky) / Health

Today, while being robbed, a man heroically chased down the robber and got my purse back. He then looked at the distance between us, turned the other way and ran off with it. FML

by Anonymous / 04/29/2011 at 2:29am / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was watching a movie online. There was a 15 minute ad. 13 minutes into watching an ad about birth control, I noticed that there was a "skip this ad" button in the corner. FML

by popcorn / 04/27/2011 at 2:33pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I stepped outdoors for a minute. The wind blew the door shut, locking me outside. I've spent the last two hours pounding frantically on the windows, trying to wake my 4 year old son who is inside. I can see him sleeping soundly on the couch. FML

by gottapee / 04/26/2011 at 7:11pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I dreamed that I was kidnapped by Charlie Sheen. FML

by woahitbechels / 04/24/2011 at 9:10pm / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mom confused me with my dad. She got in the shower with me. FML

by Damian / 04/22/2011 at 7:11am / Intimacy

Today, I was taking a crap in a public stall when three kids broke down the door and pelted me with eggs. FML

by Anonymous / 04/19/2011 at 11:06am / United States (South Carolina) / Kids

Today, my boss friend-requested me on Facebook. My profile picture is of me licking his employee of the month picture for a dare. FML

by asdfjkl / 04/15/2011 at 3:51pm / United States (North Carolina) / Work

Today, I watched my dog chase his tail for ten minutes, thinking "wow, dogs are easily entertained." Then I realized that I'd been watching my dog chase his tail for 10 minutes. FML

by Anonymous / 04/12/2011 at 10:20pm / Animals

Today, I was trying to replace the lightbulb in my bedroom. Since I couldn't reach it by myself, I grabbed and stood on a chair. After I got two broken bones, and had stitches in my forehead, I figured that using a chair with wheels probably wasn't the best idea after all. FML

by owies :( / 03/31/2011 at 10:23pm / United States (Florida) / Health

Today, I had to take a dump in a box for a stool test. FML

by Maddie / 03/22/2011 at 11:39am / Health

Today, my neighbors got a rooster. FML

by negin / 03/22/2011 at 3:23am / Animals

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend in his bedroom. It was getting pretty intense, so he got up to close the door. While he was facing the other way, I took off my bra and sling-shot it so that it would hit him. Right when I let go of it, his mom walked in and it hit her in the face. FML

by Anonymous / 03/22/2011 at 1:54am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, the bus came to pick up my daughter to take her to kindergarten. When it honked, I opened the door for her to let her run out to it. Halfway there she tripped and started crying. I couldn't run out because I was still in my underwear. Now her bus thinks I'm the worst mom ever. FML

by mommylovesu / 03/14/2011 at 10:25pm / United States (Maryland) / Kids