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Ohmie
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1658
  • Number of comments : 29
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

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Ohmie's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to get stitches on my foot and was then forced to wear a plastic bag on my foot while showering. The plastic bag made me slip in the shower and had to go back and get stitches in my forehead. FML

#19474483
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24084) - you deserved it (3108)

On 04/15/2012 at 7:39pm - health - by Shone - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, after suffering with bad constipation and having to eat special bread to get me to go, I have practically just pooped out a week's worth of food in 15 minutes, and I'm still going. I've passed the ring of fire stage, now I just can't feel my asshole. FML

#19174199
277 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33498) - you deserved it (5187)

On 02/27/2012 at 10:55am - health - by awhmaaan - United Kingdom

Today, I decided to get back into shape. I went for a jog around my neighborhood. The ice cream truck followed me for my whole jog, mocking me. FML

#17703209
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26314) - you deserved it (2877)

On 09/09/2011 at 9:36am - health - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, during our wedding, my wife tried to dodge The Kiss. FML

#17525336
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47967) - you deserved it (3452)

On 08/20/2011 at 12:41am - love - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I broke my leg while trying to show my friend how I broke my other leg. FML

#17342308
276 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20808) - you deserved it (64570)

On 08/02/2011 at 10:17am - health - by chinchilla4404 (woman) - United States

Today, while using the restroom at McDonald's, a hand reached under my stall and took the remaining toilet paper. FML

#17307885
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31147) - you deserved it (3255)

On 07/30/2011 at 10:07am - misc - by ewww - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I sold my Xbox 360 on Craigslist. I met the dude at the mall. I gave him my Xbox and a handshake for buying. I left without the money. FML

#16294930
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15099) - you deserved it (59906)

On 05/22/2011 at 9:53am - money - by Derek Lee - United States (California)

Today, I found out I was born as a result of someone switching my mom's birth control pills with tic tac. FML

#16129484
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41365) - you deserved it (3541)

On 05/11/2011 at 1:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, my dad texted me while I was in school saying, "Your cat vomited. Covered it up with a bowl so you can clean it when you come home." FML

#16117188
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29049) - you deserved it (5562)

On 05/10/2011 at 12:37pm - animals - by coolbeans123 (woman) - Singapore

Today, I learnt that eating McDonald's, Twisties, Chocolate and popcorn, then regretting it and going to the gym is a bad idea. I discovered how far vomit, on a moving treadmill, can be thrown across a room. FML

#16054918
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10491) - you deserved it (41443)

On 05/05/2011 at 9:47am - health - by gymgirl (woman) - Hong Kong

Today, I realized the only reason I chose to lose weight is that I can never cross the crosswalk fast enough. FML

#16033229
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12566) - you deserved it (28959)

On 05/03/2011 at 3:51pm - health - by Username - United States (Washington)

Today, while on a first date with a guy who turned out to be twice my age, we were playing video games at the theatre before the movie started. Suddenly he falls face first while having a seizure. The EMT asked if my "dad" had a history of epilepsy. FML

#16030351
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18027) - you deserved it (26878)

On 05/03/2011 at 8:15am - love - by cbolig -

Today, I got pulled over. Suspicious that I'd been drinking, the police officer made me walk a straight line and recite the alphabet. I failed both. I was completely sober. FML

Today, I took my dog for a walk. He started crapping on someone's lawn, then I noticed that the owner was outside and giving me a death stare. Not knowing what to do, I picked up the crap with my bare hands. The man started laughing at me. FML

#16009360
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13708) - you deserved it (42383)

On 05/01/2011 at 8:21pm - animals - by Cassie -

Today, I grabbed my t-shirt off the floor beside the bed and got up to walk my boyfriends dog. After several trips around the block and plenty of strange looks I got back upstairs and saw the used condom stuck to my sleeve from the night before. FML

#16000939
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13639) - you deserved it (39317)

On 05/01/2011 at 4:20am - intimacy - by Username - United States



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  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

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