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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1212
  • Number of comments : 9
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About OceanBananas : Im 16 and I dress alternative.

OceanBananas's page activity

Visits<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:14pm<b>spencer14</b> - the 04/26/2011 at 5:03pm<b>matthewdb</b> - the 04/01/2011 at 12:41pm<b>sweet_candy_</b> - the 03/25/2011 at 12:59pm<b>dirtyblond</b> - the 03/19/2011 at 2:52pm

OceanBananas's FML badges

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OceanBananas's favorite FMLs

Today, after a huge row with my best friend at school, I hid myself away in the bathroom and quietly sobbed to myself. A kid loudly busted into the stall next to me and took a minute-long shit that sounded like a hailstorm of bullets. The putrid stench made me retch and violently throw up everywhere. FML

by Amy / 03/31/2011 at 9:46pm / United States (New Jersey) / Health

Today, while searching for the pungent odor that has been lingering in my son's bedroom, I discovered various types of juice my son has been "storing" to make wine. FML

by Anonymous / 03/31/2011 at 6:10pm / United States (Wyoming) / Kids

Today, my girlfriend tearfully complained that I was smothering her to death with my clinginess, and that I should learn to respect her boundaries. This is after she complained I wasn't giving her enough attention. FML

by Anonymous / 03/31/2011 at 5:53pm / United States (Arkansas) / Love

Today, I noticed that the injury on my hand from three weeks ago no longer hurt. A while later, I accidentally slammed that same hand in a door. FML

by BudmaudeY / 03/31/2011 at 4:53pm / Sweden (Skane Lan) / Health

Today, my boyfriend referred me to me as "just a friend" to his ex. They swapped phone numbers. FML

by meohmy / 03/30/2011 at 9:10pm / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, on my 21st birthday, a relative asked me if I was still engaged to the love of my life. The man I spent several years with, gave my virginity to, moved across the country for, who promised to marry me before my 21st, and who swore he was over his ex for good. No, but thanks for asking. FML

by Anonymous / 03/30/2011 at 7:53pm / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, I woke up to what I thought was my 9 month old son breastfeeding. It was my boyfriend. According to him, he wanted to experience what his mother never gave him as a kid. FML

by Anonymous / 03/30/2011 at 2:26pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I told my crush of two years that I love him. He responded with an, "Aww, I'm sorry." and a pity hug. FML

by Anonymous / 03/30/2011 at 12:37pm / United States (Virginia) / Love

Today, I woke up to a beautiful sunrise, the smell of bacon in a frying pan, and some dickhead trying to pick the lock on my front door. FML

Today, I decided to go down on my girlfriend. In the midst of her orgasm, she grabbed my head with her legs, performing a submission most UFC fighters could be proud of, and she held on for so long that I was suffocated. FML

by kingpin7 / 03/30/2011 at 12:43am / United States / Intimacy

Today, in an attempt to get my son to stop playing Call of Duty, I threw his Xbox controller out the window. He was so desperate, he followed it. His bedroom is on the second floor. My son has 3 broken ribs, and no future. FML

by failureparent / 03/20/2011 at 9:25pm / United States (California) / Geek

Today, we had to discuss our heritage at school. When I told the class that I am German, Japanese, and of the Jewish faith, the teacher loudly laughs at the "irony." Something like this happens whenever I tell people my background. FML

by Anonymous / 03/06/2011 at 12:18am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my dad got drunk and asked if I had inherited his "abnormally tiny penis." FML

by nick / 03/05/2011 at 8:42pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Health

Today, my husband decided to imitate Borat and shout "Very Nice! I Excite!" while having sex. He's also decided that it was ingenious and does it every single time, the entire time. FML

by mrssagdiyev / 03/05/2011 at 9:19am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, I got mugged by a midget. FML

by insomnitude / 03/05/2011 at 1:55am / United States (Oklahoma) / Miscellaneous