Im semi tall, 19 yo, and I go to the University of Memphis,
Today, my boyfriend gave me a poem saying "Roses are red, violets are blue, rubbish is dumped and so are you." FML
I agree, your life sucks (32485) - you totally deserved it (2244)
On 09/14/2009 at 5:41am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - South Africa (Gauteng)
Today, I needed new business cards so I went to design and print some. After I designed, I was happy with them and printed off 100 copies. I live at a place called Canal Rocks. I forgot the 'C'. I now have 76 business cards which say 'anal rocks.' I already distributed 24. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9725) - you totally deserved it (27500)
On 08/20/2009 at 9:23am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, at Wal Mart, I saw a guy taping a sign that read "Hide & seek world champs!" over the lost children board. I chased him out of the store, then came back to take it down. As i was trying to remove the sign, a huge crowd began cursing at me and threatening me. They thought I'd made the sign. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32390) - you totally deserved it (2629)
On 08/19/2009 at 6:32am - misc - by Dude (man) - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. After about 10 minutes, when we change positions, he shouts: "Power Rangers - Transform!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (38181) - you totally deserved it (6773)
On 08/18/2009 at 7:45pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I was at my school's spaghetti dinner with my family. My brother shook up my mom's soda, as a prank. My entire class witnessed my mom waving around an overflowing Diet Coke while my dad yelled, "Come on, put your mouth on it! Suck it! Suck it, Kathy!!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (43232) - you totally deserved it (2313)
On 08/18/2009 at 3:20pm - misc - by gbhlaughingstock (man) - United States
Today, we had a school assembly at 7:00pm about drinking and driving. There was a cop doing a demonstration of a feild sobriety test on stage. I was randomly selected to perform a breathalyzer test infront of all the students and parents. I blew. 06%. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13722) - you totally deserved it (59891)
On 04/07/2009 at 4:44pm - health - by schoolgrlstaci (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I got back my math test. Instead of taking the time to mark the mistakes, my professor just circled the bottom half of the page and wrote "OMG." FML
I agree, your life sucks (54685) - you totally deserved it (10564)
On 04/07/2009 at 2:37pm - work - by aviators (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I was riding my bike and stopped at a street light. A little girl looked at me, then asked her mother, "Mommy, why does that girl have a ring through her nose?" Her mother then replied, "Because her parents don't love her." FML
I agree, your life sucks (47021) - you totally deserved it (9288)
On 04/05/2009 at 3:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was playing in a basketball game and blocked this kid's shot. I was really pumped up about it until I realized the kid had cerebral palsy and the coach put him on the team because he really wanted to be on at least one team in his life. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20385) - you totally deserved it (34080)
On 04/01/2009 at 8:36pm - misc - by jalapenos99 (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, my boyfriend brought me breakfast in bed, told me all the things he loved about me, got down on one knee and pulled out the little blue box I had been hoping for, for so long. He opened the box and there was a note inside that said, "April Fools!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (183834) - you totally deserved it (20307)
On 04/01/2009 at 9:44am - love - by twstedillusion (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. After what seemed like an eternity of waiting, he finally entered me, then paused and asked me, "what do I do now?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (88465) - you totally deserved it (8142)
On 03/31/2009 at 1:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. All of a sudden he jumped off of me, going "shit, shit!". Worried, i asked him what was wrong. He shouted "I forgot to set my TiVO!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (80144) - you totally deserved it (4612)
On 03/30/2009 at 8:06pm - intimacy - by Jenny (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my mom suspected me of doing marijuana. She went and bought a home-drug test and sent me to the bathroom. As I went in, I realized there was already pee in the toilet. I scooped that instead of my own and handed it to my mom. It came up positive. My sister used the bathroom last. She's 12. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21075) - you totally deserved it (48786)
On 03/24/2009 at 12:19am - health - by smokythebear (man) - United States
Today, my 11 year old brother walked in on me sitting on my boyfriend's ass and giving him a back massage. He tilted his head a little and then said "Aren't you guys doing it wrong? Isn't he supposed to be on top?" My boyfriend laughed and gave him a high-five. FML
I agree, your life sucks (66644) - you totally deserved it (17762)
On 03/23/2009 at 7:12pm - intimacy - by SLA (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I met a cute guy for coffee. Everything was going fine, right up until he started telling me about his alien encounters and super psychic powers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48050) - you totally deserved it (6646)
On 03/23/2009 at 3:36am - misc - by Ltl_Dust_Bunny (woman) - United States (Alaska)
