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Today, I woke up with a ridiculous hangover and no memory of last night. I called my friend who proceeded to tell me that I was so trashed I ended up eating all the hamburgers and chicken fingers in her fridge. I've been a vegetarian for 15 years. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4905) - you totally deserved it (22116)
On 11/18/2009 at 4:11pm - misc - by squishy (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I totalled my car. I flipped it over on the freeway and broke my collarbone in the process. I was in extreme pain and unable to move. It took the ambulance an hour to get there in rush hour traffic. The song repeating on my iPod was, "Don't Worry, be Happy." FML
I agree, your life sucks (22609) - you totally deserved it (2835)
On 11/04/2009 at 12:18am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I realized that the drunk-me deletes my texts, so the sober-me doesn't get mad. Well turns out, whatever the drunk-me said, caused me to lose my job, my girlfriend, and my coffee machine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6778) - you totally deserved it (26516)
On 11/01/2009 at 11:35am - misc - by Joe (man) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I found out that I was conceived during a conjugal visit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20629) - you totally deserved it (1350)
On 10/31/2009 at 8:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, my boyfriend and I were making out, holding hands, and he was playing with a strand of my hair. I thought the whole thing was very romantic. He then said he loved how my mouth tasted like bacon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12957) - you totally deserved it (4162)
On 10/29/2009 at 8:33pm - misc - by BaconBreathBlonde (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, at work we were gathered to be told some bad news. One of our colleagues would be taking indefinite leave because his wife had dropped their newborn baby. I accidentally laughed at the image. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7357) - you totally deserved it (31567)
On 10/28/2009 at 6:29pm - work - by R (woman) - United Kingdom (Belfast)
Today, I saw my son. I didn't know I had a son. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23652) - you totally deserved it (12356)
On 10/20/2009 at 8:44pm - kids - by Raiders4ever (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I got diagnosed with a condition that expresses itself in the form of violent diarrhea whenever I get nervous. Now I am constantly nervous about getting nervous about anything. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27448) - you totally deserved it (1113)
On 10/18/2009 at 9:36am - health - by Anonymous (man) - Sweden (Norrbottens Lan)
Today, I had to take a dump. While looking for a book to read, I sneezed. The force of the sneeze caused me to shit my pants. The glob of dung then ran down my leg before falling out of my shorts onto my carpet, all in less than 5 seconds. Nothing in my life has prepared me for this. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29501) - you totally deserved it (4111)
On 10/14/2009 at 1:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I passed my kidney stone. After thirteen hours of pain free joy, another one appeared. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17109) - you totally deserved it (765)
On 10/14/2009 at 12:37am - misc - by kidneystoner - United States (Texas)
Today, I went to my hairdresser who promised me a haircut which "all the girls would want you" for. She gave me a combover. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11909) - you totally deserved it (1531)
On 10/13/2009 at 9:25pm - misc - by Chensticles - France (Nord-Pas-de-Calais)
Today, I was doing laundry at college. There was a pile of clothes sitting on top of a dryer, but the dryer was empty so I used it. I came back to a note saying, "Don't touch my laundry, asshole" and a dryer filled with urine soaked laundry. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25947) - you totally deserved it (2090)
On 09/08/2009 at 7:42pm - misc - by easrc (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my boss called me into his office. He then fired me. Upset, I asked him "Well, who's gonna replace me?" His answer was "I don't know and don't care. Everyone who works here hates you. Now go away." FML
I agree, your life sucks (29216) - you totally deserved it (15098)
On 08/17/2009 at 5:16pm - work - by vmml97 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was picking my daughter up at day care. She was outside playing kick ball. A red ball strangely rolls over to me, and trying to impress the kids, I kicked it over the slide. I turn around to see three crying six year olds. It was their hamster ball. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14230) - you totally deserved it (44166)
On 08/05/2009 at 1:10pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)
Today, while walking through the park, a little boy came running up to me and hit me in the nuts with a stick. I fell on the ground and looked up just in time to see his mom giving him the thumbs up with a smile on her face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37519) - you totally deserved it (2239)
On 07/23/2009 at 3:10am - kids - by bbbkingsey (man) - United States (Florida)
