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I agree, your life sucks (14278) - you totally deserved it (2735)
On 03/16/2010 at 8:46pm - misc - by Username - Sent from a mobile version
Today, my schlong decided to enter Mortal Kombat with my pants zipper. Guess which of the two won a flawless victory? FML
I agree, your life sucks (9651) - you totally deserved it (3947)
On 03/16/2010 at 2:55pm - health - by liu_kang - United States
Today, I woke up crying in the middle of a nightmare in which my boyfriend of 8 months shot me through the heart whilst laughing as I screamed 'I Love You'. After I told him about this, he took me into his arms as I cried, stroked my back and said, 'What kind of gun was it?' FML
I agree, your life sucks (13566) - you totally deserved it (3112)
On 03/12/2010 at 8:17am - love - by justlittleoldme (woman) - United Kingdom (Surrey)
Today, while attempting a DIY pest removal, one of our tenants lit a skunk on fire. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10235) - you totally deserved it (905)
On 03/09/2010 at 9:07pm - misc - by Al (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I walked past a group of men at the mall and one of them mooed at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15851) - you totally deserved it (3456)
On 02/05/2010 at 9:18pm - misc - by LynnJ (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I couldn't use my normal subway exit stairway. There was a homeless man blocking the exit, furiously shitting and wiping his ass with newspaper. I can never un-see this. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23390) - you totally deserved it (1221)
On 02/04/2010 at 1:01am - misc - by subwayrider (man) - United States (New York)
Today, while at a party, Journey's "Don't Stop Believin'" started playing. For being the only one who didn't know the lyrics, I had beer thrown on me, my shirt stolen, and I was locked outside for half an hour. It's below freezing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10635) - you totally deserved it (16536)
On 01/31/2010 at 12:07pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Essex)
Today, I went to the doctor for horrible stomach pains. He said I had an abnormal amount of stool in me, and that I'd need to flush it out. I called my mom and told her what happened, to which she responded, "I always knew you were full of shit, I didn't need a doctor to tell me that." FML
I agree, your life sucks (15393) - you totally deserved it (3386)
On 01/28/2010 at 12:01am - misc - by Crap (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was sick with the flu so my boyfriend announced that he would make me some chicken soup. It was touching until I stumbled to the kitchen and found out that his "chicken soup" was actually leftover KFC bones boiled in water. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18504) - you totally deserved it (2077)
On 01/27/2010 at 9:05am - misc - by samantha (woman) - Singapore
Today, my grandpa, a married high school teacher, got arrested for having an inappropriate relationship with a female student. Hearing the news, I called my grandma crying. Not only is he most likely going to jail, but in seven months I will have a new aunt who is eighteen years younger than me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19214) - you totally deserved it (797)
On 01/26/2010 at 7:09pm - misc - by newniece (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I was in the line at Chipotle and noticed a very attractive lady in her mid 20's. I deliberately took the table next to her and her friend and happened to overhear what they were talking about. They were both discussing how much diarrhea they were going to have when they got home. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3910) - you totally deserved it (12702)
On 01/19/2010 at 7:08pm - misc - by maximus (man) - United States (Maryland)
Today, as I showered, I sneezed, hit my face on the wall, got shampoo in my eyes, slipped on a bar of soap, bashed my head on the wall as I fell, grabbed at the walls to stop me from falling and happened to turn off the cold water, scorching me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27958) - you totally deserved it (3124)
On 01/17/2010 at 1:22am - health - by Concussed (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I got hit in the face with a piece of bacon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6915) - you totally deserved it (16099)
On 01/09/2010 at 5:12am - misc - by Face (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I had the sudden urge to sneeze as I was wiping my ass. Out of instinct, I used my hand to cover my mouth. I never let go of the toilet paper. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14914) - you totally deserved it (17664)
On 01/08/2010 at 1:48pm - misc - by Hugh_Jankles (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, after months of trying, my wife of seven years told me she is finally pregnant. I'm going to be an uncle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36798) - you totally deserved it (1426)
On 01/06/2010 at 10:17pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)
