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You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
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Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
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Today, I watched as my dad noticed a spider on the ceiling. Instead of getting a shoe, he pulled out a 9mm and shot it. I'm not sure if this is an epic win or a sign that my family is crazy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23776) - you deserved it (2627)
On 07/07/2012 at 2:10am - misc - by kalikanna - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my over-protective husband went into an extreme fit of jealousy at the sight of me breast-feeding our newborn baby boy. He's trying to make me bottle-feed our boy, because apparently it's "wrong" to let another guy touch my boobs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34795) - you deserved it (3699)
On 07/06/2012 at 1:44pm - love - by wife of a shithead (woman) - Norway (Oslo)
Today, my wife, who is four months pregnant, burst into tears while thinking about the armchair in our living room that we never use. According to her, we're stopping it from living out its destiny as an armchair. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19655) - you deserved it (2171) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 07/05/2012 at 4:11am - misc - by FauteuilEver Alone (man) - France
Today, my brother thought it would be funny to pretend my tampons were "dynamite" and run around the house throwing them at my friends and family. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15311) - you deserved it (1517)
On 07/05/2012 at 12:01am - kids - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my girlfriend got a tattoo of a Rainbow Dash over her pubic mound. Now whenever I go down on her, I'll be eye-to-eye with an adorable pony that shits rainbows. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22929) - you deserved it (3474)
On 07/02/2012 at 3:53pm - intimacy - by nobrony (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I discovered my cat's favorite hobby: sitting butthole-first on my favorite makeup brush. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17176) - you deserved it (2113)
On 06/30/2012 at 4:10am - misc - by audreyav - United States (Oregon)
Today, I saw a large spider carry away the body of a dead spider in the bathroom. In my anthropology class, we learned one of the first signs of civilization is caring for the dead. First, they become civilized, and next, they take over. I will never sleep again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18854) - you deserved it (2692)
On 06/30/2012 at 2:49am - animals - by BloodFaerie (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I let my daughter bake a cake for her brother's fifth birthday party. She showed up later with a cake in the shape of a cock and balls. Apparently it's okay, though, because "I frosted it to look like a rocket, hehehe!" I can't believe my balls spawned this moron. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15848) - you deserved it (4464)
On 06/29/2012 at 5:39pm - misc - by Nick (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I told my friend over the phone that I had to go drop the kids off at the pool. She told me that she didn't need to know about my bathroom habits and hung up on me. I really had to take my children to the local swimming pool for swim lessons. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16014) - you deserved it (1738)
On 06/25/2012 at 11:53am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I found out from her teacher that my daughter in kindergarten gets the little boys in her class to play grown-ups with her. It's basically dry humping and groaning. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22412) - you deserved it (6169)
On 06/21/2012 at 1:40am - kids - by Bad Mommy - United States (California)
Today, the Jehovah's Witnesses witnessed me whacking off on my couch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18469) - you deserved it (10376)
On 06/19/2012 at 11:35am - intimacy - by megasniper240 (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I was getting dirty with my boyfriend. It was the first time he had fingered anyone, and the only thing he said was, "It feels like the inside of my asshole." FML
I agree, your life sucks (33880) - you deserved it (2725)
On 06/18/2012 at 11:33pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I found out that if you whistle Christmas carols while shitting in a public bathroom, a little boy might just look under the stall to see if Santa is pooping. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9771) - you deserved it (15637)
On 06/13/2012 at 9:17pm - misc - by ww2freak - United States (Virginia)
Today, I asked my girlfriend why she never lets me in her house. She stared blankly and said, "What is inside is not for thine eyes." I told her best friend about this creepiness later on. She sighed and said, "T'was not for mine eyes either. I didst fail to listen." I feel like I'm losing my mind here. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18773) - you deserved it (2420)
On 06/11/2012 at 5:45pm - love - by amidreaming?? (man) - United Kingdom (Hertford)
Today, while at the beach, as a joke, I told my girlfriend that I was a shark. She then poked my eyes and punched me in the nose. When I started to get mad, she just shrugged and asked, "What? You're the one that wanted to be a shark. Don't you watch Shark Week?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (7373) - you deserved it (18071)
On 06/10/2012 at 10:33pm - misc - by sharkboy (man) - United States (Hawaii)
Monday 20 May 2013
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