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Nutcup's FML badges
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Nutcup's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 10/21/2013 at 5:22pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 10/17/2013 at 6:57pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
by mustabeendrugs / 10/13/2013 at 9:14pm / United States (Arizona) / Work
Today, trying to be romantic, I started coming on to my wife while in bed, only for her to yet again say she wasn't in the mood. When I asked why she never is lately, she sarcastically blamed it on the government shutdown, then rolled over to go to sleep. FML
by (-__- ) ( ^.^) / 10/11/2013 at 5:00pm / United States (Minnesota) / Intimacy
by Ellie / 10/09/2013 at 7:15pm / United States (Kansas) / Work
by Anonymous / 10/08/2013 at 5:16pm / United States (Illinois) / Kids
Today, my boyfriend accused me of cheating because according to him, our child does not have his hair color, eye color, or other facial features. Our son is five days old, bald and hasn't opened his eyes much. The closest thing I can probably compare him to is an old, wrinkly potato. FML
by thisguy / 10/08/2013 at 5:55am / United States (California) / Kids
by Agax / 10/07/2013 at 8:21pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, my husband yelled from upstairs, "Babe! BABE, COME QUICK!" Terrified that something might have happened to our newborn daughter, I rushed up, only to find out he just wanted to show me that he'd learned how to spin a top on the tip of his penis without it falling. FML
by -____- / 10/05/2013 at 5:28pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
by cuntsmom / 09/24/2013 at 12:47am / United States / Kids
by latter / 09/23/2013 at 8:05pm / United States (Maryland) / Kids
by BarryShitpeas / 09/19/2013 at 11:18am / United Kingdom (Kent) / Health
Today, I met my birth mother. My dad won't talk to me, my mom won't stop crying and thinks I'm replacing her, and the rest of my family won't stop calling me a bitch. I'm 21, and I just wanted to meet the woman who pushed me head-first out of her vagina. FML
by TaraBURGER / 09/17/2013 at 3:57am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I saw an elderly gentleman in the street wearing a shirt with a big QR code on it. Amused, I used an app on my phone to decode it. It gave me a shortened web address, which I followed, only to be faced with a picture of the same gentleman naked, grinning, and giving a thumbs up. FML
by Anonymous / 09/15/2013 at 3:53pm / Romania (Bucuresti) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 09/11/2013 at 10:16am / United States (Oregon) / Love
- Today, I bought my husband a massage to help with his back pain. He said his back hurt too much to… Today, my mom was holding a glass of water and asked if I thought she was going to throw it at me.… Today, I lost my wallet during a flight. I figured it was in a bag that I had given to an attendant…