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You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Perfectionist
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Today, I found out I'm pregnant. Yesterday, I finally came to my senses and started using birth control. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5857) - you deserved it (37502)
On 09/16/2012 at 11:32am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was finally paid back by a friend who wrote a check out. Not really looking at it, I went to the bank to deposit it. As I handed it to the teller, I noticed that he had written "sex" in the "for" memo. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14659) - you deserved it (2390)
On 09/16/2012 at 9:46am - money - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my boyfriend called out the word "scalpel" when he orgasmed. He won't tell me why. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18371) - you deserved it (1974)
On 09/15/2012 at 3:36am - intimacy - by not the scalpel (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I had my girlfriend over to meet my parents. After dinner, we were in the living room talking. My dad thought it would be funny to grab our cat, stick it down his shirt, then pretend to give birth to it, with sound effects. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16455) - you deserved it (1374)
On 09/13/2012 at 8:37am - misc - by Sprtsgeek13 - United States (Maine)
Today, I learned that I'm expecting twins. A boy and a girl. My husband, upon finding out about this, immediately suggested that we give them Star Wars names. But not Luke and Leia. Oh no. He wants to name them Darth and Vayda. And he is absolutely serious about this. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17423) - you deserved it (2591)
On 09/12/2012 at 3:03am - kids - by AGeeksWife (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I was pulled over. The cop stated that he "couldn't see" me because I had "blended in with the dark car background", and that it looked like no one was driving. I was literally pulled over for being black. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36550) - you deserved it (2906)
On 09/12/2012 at 3:00am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, during a family dinner, my favourite underwire bra got tired of its job and tried to shish-kebab my boobs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14125) - you deserved it (1262)
On 09/09/2012 at 5:38pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
I agree, your life sucks (16824) - you deserved it (3189)
On 09/09/2012 at 4:34am - love - by JB (woman) - United States (Kentucky)
Today, I had to go into the school for the third time this week because my son is claiming he's on bath salts and biting all his classmates. My son is 16. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16883) - you deserved it (1903)
On 09/07/2012 at 1:08am - kids - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)
Today, my wife made up her own theme song for when she pees in the shower. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14080) - you deserved it (1768)
On 09/03/2012 at 10:08pm - misc - by weave9z (man) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, while having sex with my girlfriend in the bathroom, we heard a knock at the door, then her father's voice. I had to fake constipation noises until he left. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14057) - you deserved it (8479)
On 09/02/2012 at 11:38am - intimacy - by scot - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, I was apparently really loud, because when we finished I heard his mom and grandma sarcastically imitating me outside. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8781) - you deserved it (27025)
On 09/02/2012 at 2:41am - intimacy - by screamer - United States (California)
Today, I was feeling depressed and got very, very drunk. This evening, I was feeling equally desperate, and ended up having to get my special dildo removed from my asshole at the hospital. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9033) - you deserved it (29052)
On 08/31/2012 at 8:23pm - intimacy - by pride? what's that? :( (woman) - Belgium (Vlaams-Brabant)
Today, I was playing with my vibrator. I was getting close when all of a sudden it short-circuited and made a sound like a laughing clown, scaring me half to death. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22894) - you deserved it (4391)
On 08/30/2012 at 10:45pm - intimacy - by Geckosrock99 (woman) - United States (California)
Today, yet again, I was getting intimate with my shower head. Some complete genius decided to flush the toilet downstairs halfway through, which sent scalding-hot water all up in my privates. I've yet to find a comfortable sitting position. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11359) - you deserved it (25811)
On 08/28/2012 at 5:22pm - intimacy - by Bethany (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Friday 24 May 2013
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