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Nutcup

Offline (the 07/25/2014 at 9:40pm) | Search for a member

Nutcup

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 6 August 1990 (23 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3518
  • Number of comments : 24
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

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Nutcup's page activity

Visits<b>WeiXinLun</b> - the 12/12/2013 at 3:24pm<b>Narttu</b> - the 11/27/2013 at 8:38am<b>jmrr</b> - the 05/22/2013 at 2:09pm<b>munzapoppa</b> - the 09/13/2012 at 4:31pm<b>lmc94</b> - the 08/30/2012 at 10:38pm<b>youtubetre</b> - the 05/18/2012 at 12:57pm<b>ThecomingofTan</b> - the 12/18/2011 at 2:23pm

Nutcup's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of Nutcup's badges

Nutcup's favorite FMLs

Today, I had a nightmare in which I was haunted by the ghost of my foreskin. I then spent the whole day moping around, wondering what my life would've been like if my parents hadn't opted to slice it off. Will I see you in heaven, long-lost ghostly foreskin? FML

#20972170
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30941) - you deserved it (14699)

On 11/27/2013 at 3:44am - health - by MissYouPieceOfSkin (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my boss's obese bully of a grandson had a seizure. Being the only physician around, I had to rush in to tend to him. Except it wasn't a seizure as such. My daughter had found my taser and used it on him. FML

#20971381
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44742) - you deserved it (4722)

On 11/26/2013 at 2:05pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my workplace had a big employee photoshoot for an ad campaign. I was there all of 30 seconds before the photographer said, "What the fuck? Look guys, this ain't an ad for facial abortions." He then asked me and another colleague to step out of the shot. FML

#20969207
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43237) - you deserved it (3370)

On 11/24/2013 at 4:38pm - work - by fuggers :/ (woman) - United Kingdom (Hampshire)

Today, I forgot I left my tampons in a grocery bag packed with food that I put into the fridge. I realized two hours later while frantically looking for a tampon. I'm still cold down there. FML

#20966555
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39371) - you deserved it (11527)

On 11/22/2013 at 1:53am - misc - by InsertPopcicle (woman) - United States

Today, I woke up and screamed: My older sister had placed a Furby right by my face while I was asleep. This is a common occurrence. FML

#20964432
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37767) - you deserved it (4480)

On 11/20/2013 at 11:27am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, some kids used firecrackers to blow up my mailbox. This is the third time this week. FML

#20961862
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37142) - you deserved it (3242)

On 11/18/2013 at 5:14am - kids - by kids next door - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I found out that my roommate secretly edited a paper I wrote and recently turned in, so that it repeatedly refers to the famed author "Kneel Gayman." I'm positive that's not how it's spelled. FML

#20958782
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32671) - you deserved it (2898)

On 11/15/2013 at 3:30pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, as always, my boyfriend has the ability to pop his eyeballs out of his eye sockets. He thought it'd be funny for me to wake up face-to-face with the disgusting sight. The shit in my bowels did an early Thanksgiving Day parade straight into my underwear. FML

#20952990
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41273) - you deserved it (3753)

On 11/10/2013 at 6:27pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, in the lunch line at school, a kid literally ordered a "hamburger with extra swag." FML

#20950369
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43542) - you deserved it (3265)

On 11/08/2013 at 3:12pm - work - by thank god you'll only live once (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was escorted out of a grocery store for beating my boyfriend with a block of cheese. FML

Today, everything that was beautiful and pure in my life turned into a terrible, warped version of what it once was. Today, I lost all hope, and no longer believe that life, although sometimes shitty, is sweet and worth living. Today, I met my mother-in-law. FML

#20949272
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51062) - you deserved it (5305)

On 11/07/2013 at 5:21pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Derry)

Today, while teaching juniors about black holes, I said, "Imagine everything being sucked into a black hole." An African-American student shouted, "I'd better start clenching!" Nobody took the lesson seriously after that. FML

#20946225
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43021) - you deserved it (5218)

On 11/05/2013 at 8:22am - work - by regretsteachinghighschool - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my husband was getting undressed. I told my 2-year-old daughter not to go in our bedroom because he was undressing in there. I turned my back and she instantly ran off to my bedroom. I heard her shout "I can see daddy's tail!" Now, she points to everyone's crotch and shouts "TAIL!" FML

#20943580
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49237) - you deserved it (6321)

On 11/03/2013 at 9:22am - kids - by KittyKat (woman) - United Kingdom (Milton Keynes)

Today, I sat down with my daughter to have the sex talk, because she recently started seeing a guy. I mentioned at one point how disappointed I would be if she got pregnant. She went wide-eyed and asked, "Didn't mom tell you?" FML

#20942769
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57443) - you deserved it (5998)

On 11/02/2013 at 5:10pm - kids - by unknown (man) - Canada (British Columbia)



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