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Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
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Today, at a restaurant, I happily watched as my boyfriend of three years got down on his knees and proposed to me. Before I could say yes and hug him, a girl flung herself at him, kissed him and shouted, "Yes!" With us still highly confused, she then ran away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38096) - you deserved it (2966)
On 12/30/2012 at 1:29am - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)
Today, my 14-year-old daughter came home after sneaking out and partying. She was totally drunk, and started crying on my shoulder because some boy named "Thomas" has a small dick, and she had to fake an orgasm. FML
I agree, your life sucks (64056) - you deserved it (15779)
On 12/24/2012 at 10:03pm - intimacy - by valnaj1 (woman) - Denmark (Syddanmark)
Today, I told my husband to tell me his wildest fantasy. He told me it was to put on fake antlers and "do it like deer". FML
I agree, your life sucks (25711) - you deserved it (4878)
On 12/23/2012 at 1:19am - intimacy - by Kasey Eames - United States (California)
Today, after sharing my first night in bed with my boyfriend, I woke up early, and decided to rouse him with some surprise oral. It didn't go so well; he woke up screaming and gasped, "OH MY GOD! I thought you were my cat!" before telling me to continue. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30924) - you deserved it (5387)
On 12/21/2012 at 8:16pm - intimacy - by anonymaiacciu (woman) - France
Today, someone painted the "Dark Mark" on the side of my car. It won't come off and my kids refuse to get in because it means "a wizard died in there." FML
I agree, your life sucks (27569) - you deserved it (3155)
On 12/19/2012 at 9:59am - kids - by spellbound - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, someone painted the "Dark Mark" on the side of my car. It won't come off and my kids refuse to get in because it means "a wizard died in there." FML
I agree, your life sucks (27569) - you deserved it (3155)
On 12/19/2012 at 9:59am - kids - by spellbound - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, someone painted the "Dark Mark" on the side of my car. It won't come off and my kids refuse to get in because it means "a wizard died in there." FML
I agree, your life sucks (27569) - you deserved it (3155)
On 12/19/2012 at 9:59am - kids - by spellbound - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, someone painted the "Dark Mark" on the side of my car. It won't come off and my kids refuse to get in because it means "a wizard died in there." FML
I agree, your life sucks (27569) - you deserved it (3155)
On 12/19/2012 at 9:59am - kids - by spellbound - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, I had plans for a romantic night with my boyfriend, who is perfect in every way possible. We were going to have sex for the first time as well. Unfortunately, I had a dream last night about him shitting all over me and I can't look at him with a straight face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24949) - you deserved it (9326)
On 12/17/2012 at 3:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, at a Christmas party, my crush came up to me and cutely pointed out that I was standing under mistletoe. The only response my stupid brain could think of was, "Probably full of nargles though." He gave me a confused look and walked away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19810) - you deserved it (8927)
On 12/16/2012 at 6:51pm - love - by Rhine (woman) - Barbados (Saint Michael)
Today, my brother paid the DJ $300 to ruin my wedding by playing the Imperial Death March as I walked down the aisle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30520) - you deserved it (4017)
On 12/15/2012 at 3:52am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)
Today, my dog did something I had no idea he could do. He participated in an all-male three-way at the dog park. In front of everyone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15570) - you deserved it (1482)
On 12/10/2012 at 7:04pm - animals - by MoreActionThanMe - United States
Today, I met my girlfriend's father for the first time; he asked me to explain my interest in dating her. In a mix of me trying to say "I want to be with your daughter" and "I want to be in your daughter's life" I got confused and said, "I want to be in your daughter." FML
I agree, your life sucks (25657) - you deserved it (5292)
On 12/10/2012 at 2:21am - love - by Tonguetied0496 (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was getting intimate with my current bootycall when he thought it would be funny to make animal sounds. He "baa-ed" "moo-ed" and "gobbled" until losing his erection from intense laughter, leaving me there very confused and unsatisfied. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16535) - you deserved it (5807)
On 12/09/2012 at 5:46pm - intimacy - by Bug5992 (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I was sitting cross-legged, idly jerkin' the gherkin. I guess I got slightly carried away, because I zoned out, forgot where I was aiming, and came all over the side of my face, up my nose and into my eye. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7362) - you deserved it (50156)
On 12/09/2012 at 11:57am - intimacy - by SamWGovan (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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