Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Nutcup

Offline (17 hours ago) | Search for a member

Nutcup

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 6 August 1990 (24 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 4566
  • Number of comments : 24
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Nutcup's page activity

Visits<b>sanuxo_</b> - the 11/15/2014 at 11:50am<b>WeiXinLun</b> - the 12/12/2013 at 3:24pm<b>Narttu</b> - the 11/27/2013 at 8:38am<b>jmrr</b> - the 05/22/2013 at 2:09pm<b>munzapoppa</b> - the 09/13/2012 at 4:31pm<b>lmc94</b> - the 08/30/2012 at 10:38pm<b>youtubetre</b> - the 05/18/2012 at 12:57pm<b>ThecomingofTan</b> - the 12/18/2011 at 2:23pm

Nutcup's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of Nutcup's badges

Nutcup's favorite FMLs

Today, I was having phone sex with my boyfriend. Trying to be sexy, I told him what I was doing with my vibrator. I heard a loud bang, followed by him shouting, "Why don't you just fucking marry it, then?!" and then hanging up. FML

#19608230
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30028) - you deserved it (9455)

On 05/11/2012 at 6:02pm - intimacy - by 504-A1 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out where all my missing panties have gone, when my 12-year-old daughter was caught selling them to the boys at school. FML

#19598679
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27594) - you deserved it (2925)

On 05/09/2012 at 6:09pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Egypt (Al Qahirah)

Today, I got a parking ticket while I was in the car. I didn't even notice it happen. Ninja cops do exist. FML

#19589899
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22049) - you deserved it (6136)

On 05/07/2012 at 10:52pm - money - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was working at the local liquor store. An obviously drunk girl stumbles in, grabs two cases of beer and puts them on the counter. Then she grabs a pregnancy test, pees on it right there, shows me, and says, "I'm not pregnant, I want beer." FML

#19572319
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30619) - you deserved it (1918)

On 05/04/2012 at 8:08am - work - by viviham - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend and I were making love for the first time, when out of nowhere my cat meowed from the doorway. My boyfriend sighed, pulled out, and exasperatedly called me a selfish bitch for not having put my cat outside. FML

#19564569
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29237) - you deserved it (4815)

On 05/02/2012 at 6:06pm - intimacy - by S12Sophia (woman) - France

Today, my parents decided on my punishment for failing an English test. No deodorant for a week. They think they're so hilarious, they told all their friends and now it's all over Facebook. FML

#19555770
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25281) - you deserved it (3703)

On 04/30/2012 at 10:21pm - misc - by sockmonkey (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my mom walked in on me masturbating. She didnt look away and we stared at each other for a while; then she asked me what I wanted from McDonalds. FML

#19547170
282 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36056) - you deserved it (8876)

On 04/29/2012 at 11:10am - intimacy - by ShadowJack - United States

Today, my boss overheard me singing, "I need a shit, I need a shit" on my way to the bathroom. FML

#19531197
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7365) - you deserved it (30120)

On 04/26/2012 at 6:44am - work - by NoPrivacy (woman) - United States

Today, my boss overheard me singing, "I need a shit, I need a shit" on my way to the bathroom. FML

#19531197
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7365) - you deserved it (30120)

On 04/26/2012 at 6:44am - work - by NoPrivacy (woman) - United States

Today, it was snowing, and the campus looked just lovely. I sat on a nearby window ledge to enjoy the view. I was joined by a girl who looked fascinated as well, so I decided to make small talk. She nodded, smiled wistfully, and said, "There's herpes in the air today." FML

#19525973
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23907) - you deserved it (2693)

On 04/25/2012 at 2:22am - intimacy - by intheairtonight (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, while putting on a load of laundry, I squeezed the detergent bottle and it made a noise like a woman's orgasm. After laughing, I realised that I'm probably too immature to be washing my own clothes. FML

#19521311
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9627) - you deserved it (24017)

On 04/24/2012 at 10:03am - intimacy - by mmmtortilla (woman) - Spain (Pais Vasco)

Today, it was my wedding day. With my best friend as the priest, she asked, "Do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?" After saying I do, she then turned to him and asked, "Do you want to bang my friend?" Everyone laughed, except my already disapproving father. FML

#19514689
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27632) - you deserved it (4221)

On 04/23/2012 at 12:04am - love - by gottalovefriends - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, while landscaping my backyard, I was pulling a big weed out of the ground. After the last tug, the soil came free, but ended up with me punching myself full force in the nuts. I think my future children are already filing for parental abuse. FML

#19508765
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20882) - you deserved it (3850)

On 04/21/2012 at 11:27pm - health - by JurassicHole (man) - United States

Today, my husband drew a penis on every one of my cigarettes. It's a new pack. FML

#19508691
296 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8048) - you deserved it (63534)

On 04/21/2012 at 11:15pm - misc - by Jenn P (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my mum bought a phone. Since teaching her how to text, I have received 27 messages, repeatedly saying the word "penis". FML

#19505040
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21886) - you deserved it (4183)

On 04/21/2012 at 5:26am - misc - by jaderie - Australia (New South Wales)



FML's blog

  • K'Naye's illustrated FML
  • Woohoo it's the weekend! Winter is all around some of us, but not in our hearts. To help fight off the cold and seasonal depression, this week we're taking a look at love and tenderness. It's what keeps…

Friday 21 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: