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You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
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Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
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Today, I was letting my boyfriend of 4 years tie me up and do stuff to me. After finishing on my face, he then left. My parents had to untie me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33953) - you deserved it (9028)
On 01/27/2010 at 8:35am - intimacy - by chanclepants - Sent from mobile version
Today, I found out I've recently developed a bladder control issue. Every time I lift anything more than about fifteen pounds, I pee myself a little. I work in a warehouse. Heavy lifting is my job. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25428) - you deserved it (1872)
On 01/08/2010 at 12:56pm - misc - by mcpeepants (woman) - United States (Vermont)
Today, while taking a shower, I saw shadows moving across the curtains. The shadow turned out to be a cricket that then fell into the tub. I ran out of the bathroom screaming and naked. My little sister came to my door and said, "If I hadn't just seen your balls, I would swear mom had TWO daughters." FML
I agree, your life sucks (8739) - you deserved it (27600)
On 12/11/2009 at 8:03pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I had nothing better to do than make a penis out of silly putty. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7896) - you deserved it (24844)
On 11/15/2009 at 6:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I was putting my contacts in when my daughter decided to jump on me from behind to scare me, causing me to poke myself in the eye. I'm now wearing an eye patch due to a scratched cornea while my daughter is singing some song titled "You are a pirate". FML
I agree, your life sucks (24098) - you deserved it (2043)
On 11/13/2009 at 5:06am - kids - by dessaye (man) - Singapore
Today, my good buddy of about two years set me up on a blind date. I got to the meeting point and realized that my date was a guy. My "buddy" honestly thought I was gay. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26273) - you deserved it (2987)
On 10/31/2009 at 4:18pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I told my brother to piss off. He decided to do exactly that, from the balcony onto my lap. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9974) - you deserved it (21753)
On 10/21/2009 at 5:03pm - kids - by holy (man) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I was eating MandMs on a chair when I dropped one and it fell under my crotch. My mom came in to see my hand on my crotch and me muttering, "Where is that little bastard?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (51033) - you deserved it (11674)
On 09/11/2009 at 2:26pm - misc - by awilson (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I got my renewed driver's license. It clearly indicates 'Sex: F'. My beard and penis beg to differ. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38332) - you deserved it (2613)
On 09/06/2009 at 1:10pm - misc - by HeShe (man) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I bailed my soon to be ex-husband out of jail after he'd been arrested for soliciting. Soliciting an undercover cop. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30013) - you deserved it (5243)
On 08/25/2009 at 12:26am - misc - by singlesoon (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)
Today, I caught my dad squishing my stick-on bra cups in his hands, trying to figure out what they are. He's an engineer who graduated from MIT. I still don't think he knows what they are. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26782) - you deserved it (2777)
On 08/23/2009 at 5:35pm - misc - by Kegronauer (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, my husband came home from shopping with my 4 year old daughter and showed me a shirt she picked out herself. The shirt read "My mom's easy i'm living proof." Apparently she just liked the colours and her father agreed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28406) - you deserved it (2987)
On 08/22/2009 at 5:29am - kids - by naughtyshirt (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I was on the phone bragging to a friend about losing my virginity last night. When I went downstairs, my 6 year old sister was digging through my purse. She explained that she had overheard my conversation and wanted to help me find my virginity. My mom was in the kitchen with us. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30724) - you deserved it (71443)
On 08/13/2009 at 4:57pm - kids - by bubbalicious (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I found out why my boyfriend gets so upset when I make jokes about him and his best guy friend being lovers. It's because they are. FML
I agree, your life sucks (54734) - you deserved it (6500)
On 08/10/2009 at 12:31pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I went to a bookstore and asked the sales woman,"Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14454) - you deserved it (37837)
On 08/04/2009 at 12:45am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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