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Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Perfectionist
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Today, my husband bought a horse. We don't own any furniture, but we have a flippin' horse. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43430) - you deserved it (5138)
On 03/15/2011 at 2:01am - money - by neverthefirst -
Today, my five year old son decided to move all my stuffed animals I have around the house, into sex positions and massive orgies. What have I been teaching my son lately? FML
I agree, your life sucks (10972) - you deserved it (36998)
On 03/07/2011 at 2:04pm - intimacy - by lolzboss - United States (Virginia)
Today, while sitting on the couch, my boyfriend came over, pulled his penis out of his fly, and started stabbing me in the face with it while humming the Jaws theme. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38806) - you deserved it (10399)
On 02/15/2011 at 2:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, my 400 pound roommate brought home a 400 pound guy. Now there's 800 pounds of sex going on in the next room, and it sounds like the invasion of Normandy in there. FML
I agree, your life sucks (60033) - you deserved it (5176)
On 02/04/2011 at 12:42am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, while socializing after a church service, I discovered I'm still referred to as "Fireshit's brother", after an incident a year ago which involved my sister screaming "the devil is coming out of my anus!" from the lavatory. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23286) - you deserved it (2380)
On 12/25/2010 at 1:20am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)
Today, I found out that if I try to resist a 70 pound bulldog that's humping my leg, I will end up with stitches. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21757) - you deserved it (2118)
On 12/22/2010 at 2:54am - health - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I changed my phone number because my old one belonged to a prostitute. My new one belongs to a debtor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19463) - you deserved it (1891)
On 11/14/2010 at 12:43am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, my 5 year old son and I went out. As I was looking in the window display of a shop, I turned around to witness my son pooping in an open manhole on the street. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23250) - you deserved it (7826)
On 11/04/2010 at 7:54pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was so lonely that I had a 3 hour conversation with a one-legged cricket I found in my room. I'm keeping him. He has a name. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25153) - you deserved it (8228)
On 11/03/2010 at 12:39am - misc - by nk (woman) - United States (Kentucky)
Today, I went to the library to pick up Romeo and Juliet, for my English class. After looking around for half an hour, I asked the librarian. "I couldn't find Shakespeare anywhere. Where could I find him?" She quickly replied "He's dead", giggled to herself, and went back to her work. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18300) - you deserved it (6464)
On 10/26/2010 at 3:48am - misc - by skippy_liz (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, as I put my 4 year old daughter in the car seat, she dropped her crayon. She then paused and matter-of-factly said, "Mommy, I don't say 'f***' anymore when I drop things." FML
I agree, your life sucks (16734) - you deserved it (6400)
On 10/14/2010 at 8:25pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I had to moisturise my dog's testicles because they got sunburnt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34766) - you deserved it (5645)
On 08/04/2010 at 6:24am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I wrapped a towel around my waist so I could take a dump while using my laptop. I sat on the toilet seat and let a big load go. Turns out I forgot to unwrap the towel. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6114) - you deserved it (48344)
On 04/16/2010 at 8:34am - health - by TowelSmellsNice (man) - Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)
Today, I woke up late for a very important presentation. I got dressed but forgot to wear a bra. During the presentation, I bent down to adjust a shoe strap. I rose to find that the thin straps of my blouse snapped and exposed my breasts. I gave a great presentation and a titty show. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10058) - you deserved it (22614)
On 03/15/2010 at 2:35am - work - by exposed (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I started to type up a mass text to tell a decent amount of my friends that I'd just come home to a surprise from my boyfriend. Trying to fix a typo, I accidentally hit send with the text only saying "Guess what?! I just came." FML
I agree, your life sucks (18422) - you deserved it (7825)
On 03/14/2010 at 10:49am - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States
Monday 17 June 2013
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