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Nutcup's FML badges
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Nutcup's favorite FMLs
by weave9z / 09/03/2012 at 10:08pm / Canada (Quebec) / Miscellaneous
by scot / 09/02/2012 at 11:38am / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy
by screamer / 09/02/2012 at 2:41am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by pride? what's that? :( / 08/31/2012 at 8:23pm / Belgium (Vlaams-Brabant) / Intimacy
by Geckosrock99 / 08/30/2012 at 10:45pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, yet again, I was getting intimate with my shower head. Some complete genius decided to flush the toilet downstairs halfway through, which sent scalding-hot water all up in my privates. I've yet to find a comfortable sitting position. FML
by Bethany / 08/28/2012 at 5:22pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Intimacy
by masterman / 08/27/2012 at 2:45am / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
Today, the office I work at put up a "No Masturbating at Desks" sign. I'm disappointed by this, not because I usually whack off at my desk, but because enough people do that there needs to be a sign against it. FML
by Anonymous / 08/26/2012 at 7:39pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
Today, I accidentally decoded the system my parents use for talking about sex while I'm around. It's a substituion cipher, using literary references. As they're both lit. professors, this has me perpetually grossed-out and wondering, "Are they really talking about Anne Frank, or anal fisting?" FML
by ewww / 08/26/2012 at 5:21am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
by youre dumped shitforbrain / 08/19/2012 at 12:52pm / Sweden (Sodermanlands Lan) / Love
Today, I was giving my boyfriend head on the living room couch. Apparently his two cats didn't approve, and they started attacking my face. Luckily for him, since my boyfriend was holding my head down, his privates didn't get a scratch. FML
by Anonymous / 08/15/2012 at 1:15pm / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy
Today, I was digging in my lawn, trying to ignore the suspicious glances coming from my nosy fuckball of a neighbor. When he asked what I was doing, I replied with dripping sarcasm, that I was digging up the schoolkids I killed last year. Fifteen minutes later, the cops he called arrived. FML
by diggingaplotforone / 08/11/2012 at 7:47pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was at the mall, when a guy started screaming at his buddy for sleeping with his sister. It was pretty hilarious, so when he stormed off, I mockingly yelled, "Pussy!" He then whirled around and beat the absolute hell out of his friend. Now I feel like I'm going to reincarnate as a turd. FML
by feelsterrible / 08/09/2012 at 3:51pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous
by memphis201 / 07/26/2012 at 1:20pm / United States (Kentucky) / Health
by Anonymous / 07/25/2012 at 6:54am / United States (California) / Kids
- Today, I’m in China, and I took my Golden Retriever to the groomer’s to get him cleaned up, because… Today, I couldn't get into my car. I got mad at the lock, and my key broken inside it. It wasn't my… Today, returning home, I found my roommate trying one of my bras. When he saw my shocked face, the…