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Nutcup's FML badges
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
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Nutcup's favorite FMLs
by poserpilot / 11/12/2012 at 10:10am / United States (California) / Health
by john r.t. / 11/09/2012 at 7:30pm / United States (Texas) / Kids
by thebeachisthatway / 10/22/2012 at 2:56pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids
by Anonymous / 10/15/2012 at 9:19pm / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous
by wdunn69733 / 10/11/2012 at 10:30am / United States (Georgia) / Kids
Today, I was walking home when I saw an elderly woman struggling with a large bag of garbage. I asked if I could help. I got it all the way to the dumpster and the bag ripped. Inside were about fourteen dead cats. FML
by AdamwithanA / 10/10/2012 at 11:36pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Animals
by justabitembarrassed / 10/07/2012 at 10:20am / United States (Ohio) / Love
Today, my boyfriend discovered that if he pulls out during doggy-style and rubs my clit with the tip of his penis, he will be rewarded with a queef. He found it hilarious and tested it out 5 more times. FML
by SoSexy / 10/07/2012 at 6:25am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, my teenage daughter asked me how old I was when I lost my virginity. I sarcastically replied that I'm still a virgin. She looked at me blankly and said, "Jeez, no wonder you're so uptight. You need to get laid, mom." FML
by TheVirginJenny / 10/06/2012 at 8:05pm / United States (Washington) / Kids
Today, after having bought my daughter a complete set of new school clothes, she threw a tantrum and refused to wear them. I told her she could either wear them, or go to school naked. She made if half-way down the street in the nude before I caught up and dragged her back inside. FML
by Anonymous / 10/05/2012 at 2:22pm / United Kingdom (Wokingham) / Kids
Today, while walking down the hall of my old school, I noticed something out of the corner of my eye. Behind the faculty parking lot where I parked my truck, two students were having sex on my tailgate. FML
by Anonymous / 10/03/2012 at 1:40pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, my mom screeched at me about my pillowcase being dirty and finished off one long rant with an irate "Who raised you to be such a pig?" Her anger multiplied by ten when I asked if it was a trick question. FML
by kira / 10/02/2012 at 6:29am / United States / Miscellaneous
by fiftyno / 10/01/2012 at 11:02am / United States (Washington) / Love
Today, after eight months of unemployment, I finally started at my new night job. Shortly after walking in, my boss came up behind me, whispered "hooorse dicksss" in my ear, and walked off without another word. I am terrified. FML
by Anonymous / 09/29/2012 at 8:11pm / United States (Colorado) / Work
by thatwas10yearsago / 09/27/2012 at 10:41pm / United States (Virginia) / Love
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, it's been 2 weeks since I ordered a printer so I could print schoolwork, that way I don't…