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Nutcup

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Nutcup
  • Town/Country : Fayetteville, America
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 6 August 1990 (23 years)
  • Number of visits : 2790
  • Number of comments : 23
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

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Nutcup's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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Nutcup's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend snapped at me for being lazy and incompetent, and declared that if I was going to behave like a child, she would be treating me like one. This includes safety-proofing the house, talking to me like a 3-year-old and slapping me with a wooden spoon when I do something wrong. FML

#20162223
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5329) - you deserved it (19945)

On 11/13/2012 at 7:43pm - misc - by Z - Australia

Today, I arrived home after a hard day's work to see my 12-year-old sister had greased up my 8-year-old brother with butter and olive oil, and was attempting to slide him down the wooden floorboards in the hallway. FML

#20161557
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17410) - you deserved it (1745)

On 11/13/2012 at 5:00am - kids - by Anonymous - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, I realized that the bird I supposedly heard during the night throughout my childhood is actually the sound my mom makes when she comes. FML

#20160628
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35950) - you deserved it (2470)

On 11/12/2012 at 4:20pm - intimacy - by Heather - United States (Maryland)

Today, I woke up after a night of drinking to find that while I was passed out someone stole my prosthetic leg. FML

#20160279
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28696) - you deserved it (5415)

On 11/12/2012 at 10:10am - health - by poserpilot - United States (California)

Today, I walked in on my son teabagging his sister over a video game. FML

#20156633
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18757) - you deserved it (2561)

On 11/09/2012 at 7:30pm - kids - by john r.t. (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my son got expelled after using the photocopier to photocopy his penis. He then used the copies to replace every directional arrow posted throughout the school. FML

#20128322
274 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27223) - you deserved it (4238)

On 10/22/2012 at 2:56pm - kids - by thebeachisthatway (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my parents gave me a sock and card for my eighteenth birthday. The card said, "Now that Dobby is free, get out." FML

#20118693
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23369) - you deserved it (2950)

On 10/15/2012 at 9:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, my 14-year-old step-daughter announced that she is 4 months pregnant. The father is my 15-year-old son. FML

#20111886
525 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71951) - you deserved it (8400)

On 10/11/2012 at 10:30am - kids - by wdunn69733 - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was walking home when I saw an elderly woman struggling with a large bag of garbage. I asked if I could help. I got it all the way to the dumpster and the bag ripped. Inside were about fourteen dead cats. FML

Today, my boyfriend learned how to somersault. He now thinks that he's a ninja and somersaults into every room. FML

#20105538
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18029) - you deserved it (4007)

On 10/07/2012 at 10:20am - love - by justabitembarrassed - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boyfriend discovered that if he pulls out during doggy-style and rubs my clit with the tip of his penis, he will be rewarded with a queef. He found it hilarious and tested it out 5 more times. FML

#20105380
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28526) - you deserved it (6153)

On 10/07/2012 at 6:25am - intimacy - by SoSexy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my teenage daughter asked me how old I was when I lost my virginity. I sarcastically replied that I'm still a virgin. She looked at me blankly and said, "Jeez, no wonder you're so uptight. You need to get laid, mom." FML

#20104739
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23124) - you deserved it (6429)

On 10/06/2012 at 8:05pm - kids - by TheVirginJenny - United States (Washington)

Today, after having bought my daughter a complete set of new school clothes, she threw a tantrum and refused to wear them. I told her she could either wear them, or go to school naked. She made if half-way down the street in the nude before I caught up and dragged her back inside. FML

#20102964
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21636) - you deserved it (8340)

On 10/05/2012 at 2:22pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Wokingham)

Today, while walking down the hall of my old school, I noticed something out of the corner of my eye. Behind the faculty parking lot where I parked my truck, two students were having sex on my tailgate. FML

#20099948
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23234) - you deserved it (2246)

On 10/03/2012 at 1:40pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my mom screeched at me about my pillowcase being dirty and finished off one long rant with an irate "Who raised you to be such a pig?" Her anger multiplied by ten when I asked if it was a trick question. FML

#20098049
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19078) - you deserved it (6718)

On 10/02/2012 at 6:29am - misc - by kira (woman) - United States



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