Nsswimmer

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Offline (the 10/02/2014 at 2:11am)

Nsswimmer

4Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 5 May 1993 (22 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1277
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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Nsswimmer's page activity

Visits<b>tin_cup</b> - the 01/19/2016 at 8:01pm<b>holymacabre</b> - the 11/29/2015 at 10:03am<b>vencaliber</b> - the 10/23/2015 at 5:06am<b>clapdatassidy</b> - the 08/14/2015 at 3:45am<b>bps315</b> - the 07/04/2015 at 12:34pm<b>RootedPumpkin</b> - the 07/04/2015 at 3:26am<b>SeaMonkey87</b> - the 06/22/2015 at 12:18am<b>AsharKhan</b> - the 06/05/2015 at 11:01pm<b>mawer10</b> - the 05/05/2015 at 5:17pm<b>adamxxx2567</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 2:33pm<b>bbball1</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 11:43pm<b>mogila</b> - the 04/11/2015 at 9:12pm<b>Batgirl124</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 6:25pm<b>El_Mojiiito</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 10:37am<b>Blee864</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 11:17pm<b>mazdatuner09</b> - the 02/28/2015 at 11:27pm<b>Geary519</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 6:31pm<b>jett0001</b> - the 02/21/2015 at 11:46am

Fucked!<b>tin_cup</b> - the 01/20/2016 at 2:00am<b>Geary519</b> - the 02/26/2015 at 12:31am<b>jett0001</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 10:47am<b>Panguslicker</b> - the 12/19/2014 at 5:33am

Nsswimmer's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of Nsswimmer's badges

Nsswimmer's favorite FMLs

Today, my ex-wife put my number on Craigslist as a gay fashion designer needing a one night stand. I only found out when I got a text from an unknown number asking me when was the last time I "ate a black anaconda". FML

by Craigslist is Evil. / 09/24/2013 at 2:12pm / United States (Tennessee) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend got out of the shower and tried to hit my forehead with his penis. He slipped and slapped me in the eye with it. FML

by Anonymous / 09/22/2013 at 1:40am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, the great deal on my new apartment has turned into a nightmare. I keep hearing extremely weird sounds almost every night, and when I tried taking pics of the place today, my camera's face recognition feature kept activating, but only in my bedroom. I'm scared shitless. FML

by notenoughunderwearintheworld / 07/21/2013 at 4:54pm / South Africa (KwaZulu-Natal) / Transportation

Today, my wife uttered the soul-crushing words, "But we're married now, why would we have sex?" FML

by ._. / 06/04/2013 at 8:08pm / United Kingdom (Bedfordshire) / Intimacy

Today, I was walking down the stairs with my guitar in hand, singing "I Don't Wanna Miss a Thing" to my wife. I sang, "I don't wanna close my eyes, I don't wanna fall". Before I could say "asleep", I fell down the stairs. My wife almost pissed her pants laughing. My bum hurts. FML

by Anonymous / 05/28/2013 at 12:37pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Love

Today, my best friend was throwing me my bachelorette partly. A cop came by and said there have been complaints about the noise. Thinking he was the stripper we ordered, we pulled him into the house. He was an actual cop. FML

by Evalynne / 04/06/2013 at 8:55am / United States (Louisiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I dropped our daughter. Our hypothetical daughter. Represented by a stuffed owl. FML

by Anonymous / 04/03/2013 at 9:32am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Love

Today, I returned home to my parents' house, drunk. Hungry, I grabbed a slice of bread and some butter and took two mouthfuls. Five hours later, my mother woke me up and dragged me to the kitchen. In the middle of the table was a buttered, half-eaten sponge. FML

by Bontempi / 07/19/2012 at 2:55pm / France / Miscellaneous

Today, I told my girlfriend that I would still care for her if she was a vegetable. She informed me that if I was a potato, she would cut me into chips. And fry me. FML

by jesifairy / 04/13/2012 at 12:46am / Australia / Love

Today, while on student exchange in Germany, I was making myself a cup of coffee. When I rummaged around in the fridge, my room-mates asked me what I was looking for. I said I wanted to put "samen" in my coffee. They laughed. Ah yes, "sahne" means "cream". "Samen" means "sperm". FML

by Hum / 07/02/2011 at 5:50pm / Switzerland (Ticino) / Intimacy

Today, I went through the drive through at Dunkin Donuts and asked for an iced coffee. After no response I start frantically screaming about bad service. After a while, the woman comes out to my car and says, "Please pull up to the speaker." I yelled at a garbage bin for 5 minutes. FML

by Anonymous / 06/19/2009 at 1:26am / United States (Illinois) / Transportation

Today, I repaired a boiler for a wealthy guy in a big house. While there, I fixed a leaking tap for free. When I went to go, the man slipped something into my shirt pocket and said "have a drink on me." When I got to my truck, I discovered that he'd given me a tea bag. FML

by toast / 03/25/2009 at 12:33pm / United Kingdom (Worcestershire) / Work