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Nsswimmer

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Nsswimmer

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 5 May 1993 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 726
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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Nsswimmer's page activity

Visits<b>annarcheer</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 12:03pm<b>maddmaxx10</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 2:51pm<b>tk14</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 11:23am<b>doubledutchy</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 8:53am<b>kAPISH</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 7:24am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 2:28pm<b>Garrett2818</b> - the 08/23/2014 at 10:02pm<b>DeathcoreDoge</b> - the 08/21/2014 at 8:30pm<b>spork_of_doom</b> - the 08/19/2014 at 6:59pm<b>CFB_FRS</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 7:08am<b>steve31789</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 3:08am<b>9ndfine</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 4:59pm<b>Mons</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 10:48am<b>mollykg</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 12:18am<b>fml0505</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 9:40pm<b>Victormoon</b> - the 08/09/2014 at 11:59am<b>morondon000</b> - the 08/09/2014 at 1:18am<b>MomentoMori</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 2:09pm

Nsswimmer's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of Nsswimmer's badges

Nsswimmer's favorite FMLs

Today, my ex-wife put my number on Craigslist as a gay fashion designer needing a one night stand. I only found out when I got a text from an unknown number asking me when was the last time I "ate a black anaconda". FML

#20894419
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50246) - you deserved it (4822)

On 09/24/2013 at 2:12pm - intimacy - by Craigslist is Evil. - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my boyfriend got out of the shower and tried to hit my forehead with his penis. He slipped and slapped me in the eye with it. FML

#20891019
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47640) - you deserved it (8931)

On 09/22/2013 at 1:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, the great deal on my new apartment has turned into a nightmare. I keep hearing extremely weird sounds almost every night, and when I tried taking pics of the place today, my camera's face recognition feature kept activating, but only in my bedroom. I'm scared shitless. FML

#20796032
273 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60228) - you deserved it (4381)

On 07/21/2013 at 4:54pm - misc - by notenoughunderwearintheworld (man) - South Africa (KwaZulu-Natal)

Today, my wife uttered the soul-crushing words, "But we're married now, why would we have sex?" FML

#20706140
274 comments

I agree, your life sucks (84057) - you deserved it (8040)

On 06/04/2013 at 8:08pm - intimacy - by ._. (man) - United Kingdom (Bedfordshire)

Today, I was walking down the stairs with my guitar in hand, singing "I Don't Wanna Miss a Thing" to my wife. I sang, "I don't wanna close my eyes, I don't wanna fall". Before I could say "asleep", I fell down the stairs. My wife almost pissed her pants laughing. My bum hurts. FML

#20691071
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63192) - you deserved it (14394)

On 05/28/2013 at 12:37pm - love - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my best friend was throwing me my bachelorette partly. A cop came by and said there have been complaints about the noise. Thinking he was the stripper we ordered, we pulled him into the house. He was an actual cop. FML

#20577218
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39672) - you deserved it (19410)

On 04/06/2013 at 8:55am - misc - by Evalynne - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I dropped our daughter. Our hypothetical daughter. Represented by a stuffed owl. FML

#20572997
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46645) - you deserved it (5537)

On 04/03/2013 at 9:32am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I returned home to my parents' house, drunk. Hungry, I grabbed a slice of bread and some butter and took two mouthfuls. Five hours later, my mother woke me up and dragged me to the kitchen. In the middle of the table was a buttered, half-eaten sponge. FML

#19959363
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10690) - you deserved it (36787)

On 07/19/2012 at 2:55pm - misc - by Bontempi (man) - France

Today, I told my girlfriend that I would still care for her if she was a vegetable. She informed me that if I was a potato, she would cut me into chips. And fry me. FML

#19459433
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20284) - you deserved it (6393)

On 04/13/2012 at 12:46am - love - by jesifairy - Australia

Today, while on student exchange in Germany, I was making myself a cup of coffee. When I rummaged around in the fridge, my room-mates asked me what I was looking for. I said I wanted to put "samen" in my coffee. They laughed. Ah yes, "sahne" means "cream". "Samen" means "sperm". FML

#16951443
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27306) - you deserved it (10593) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 07/02/2011 at 5:50pm - intimacy - by Hum - Switzerland (Ticino)

Today, I went through the drive through at Dunkin Donuts and asked for an iced coffee. After no response I start frantically screaming about bad service. After a while, the woman comes out to my car and says, "Please pull up to the speaker." I yelled at a garbage bin for 5 minutes. FML

#3019033
273 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11585) - you deserved it (110652)

On 06/19/2009 at 1:26am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I repaired a boiler for a wealthy guy in a big house. While there, I fixed a leaking tap for free. When I went to go, the man slipped something into my shirt pocket and said "have a drink on me." When I got to my truck, I discovered that he'd given me a tea bag. FML

#598491
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73187) - you deserved it (5543)

On 03/25/2009 at 12:33pm - misc - by toast - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)



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