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Nsswimmer

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Nsswimmer
  • Town/Country : Ohio
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 5 May 1994 (19 years)
  • Number of visits : 326
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

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Nsswimmer's favorite FMLs

Today, I was walking down the stairs with my guitar in hand, singing "I Don't Wanna Miss a Thing" to my wife. I sang, "I don't wanna close my eyes, I don't wanna fall". Before I could say "asleep", I fell down the stairs. My wife almost pissed her pants laughing. My bum hurts. FML

#20691071
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55612) - you deserved it (11977)

On 05/28/2013 at 12:37pm - love - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my best friend was throwing me my bachelorette partly. A cop came by and said there have been complaints about the noise. Thinking he was the stripper we ordered, we pulled him into the house. He was an actual cop. FML

#20577218
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35056) - you deserved it (15547)

On 04/06/2013 at 8:55am - misc - by Evalynne - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I dropped our daughter. Our hypothetical daughter. Represented by a stuffed owl. FML

#20572997
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40604) - you deserved it (3827)

On 04/03/2013 at 9:32am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I returned home to my parents' house, drunk. Hungry, I grabbed a slice of bread and some butter and took two mouthfuls. Five hours later, my mother woke me up and dragged me to the kitchen. In the middle of the table was a buttered, half-eaten sponge. FML

#19959363
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8860) - you deserved it (31272)

On 07/19/2012 at 2:55pm - misc - by Bontempi (man) - France

Today, while on student exchange in Germany, I was making myself a cup of coffee. When I rummaged around in the fridge, my room-mates asked me what I was looking for. I said I wanted to put "samen" in my coffee. They laughed. Ah yes, "sahne" means "cream". "Samen" means "sperm". FML

#16951443
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22476) - you deserved it (9749) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 07/02/2011 at 5:50pm - intimacy - by Hum - Switzerland (Ticino)

Today, I went through the drive through at Dunkin Donuts and asked for an iced coffee. After no response I start frantically screaming about bad service. After a while, the woman comes out to my car and says, "Please pull up to the speaker." I yelled at a garbage bin for 5 minutes. FML

#3019033
267 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9033) - you deserved it (85830)

On 06/19/2009 at 1:26am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)



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